<p>It should seem pretty odd to hear this from someone who asked "are friends really necessary?", but I just wanted to know because I've always wanted to try getting a girlfriend and seeing how that was. I am currently in 3 clubs, but I don't want to make girlfriends with anybody in those because it would be pretty awkward, especially seeing how two of them are quite "serious" clubs and the other is a music club which happens to have no girls, even though it's open to both sexes. I see those girls as colleagues and not dates. And as for girls in my classes, is it okay to try them? I feel like girls sharing classes with me are good potential study partners, but not potential dates (especially those in the same major). And as for girls in my hall in my dorm... just no. And approaching girls that I don't even know, I don't know how to even begin with that. How should I approach this issue?</p>
<p>Just talk to them. Yes, easier said than done, I know. Here’s a parable that’s still in progress:</p>
<p>There’s this really cute girl in my health class, heck I’d go as far as to say gorgeous. She seems pretty intelligent from her contributions to class but also quiet. The day of an exam, I was sitting outside the classroom waiting for the class that’s there before ours to finish. She sits down somewhat near me, within talking distance. I decide to nut up and ask if she’s ready for the exam, and we just start talking. All good.</p>
<p>Then a couple days later next time we have class, she once again sits near me before class starts and we shoot the breeze again, this time about the crazy-ass weather and the exam. She seems receptive, and after class we talked a bit more. </p>
<p>But I am not the boldest guy ever. I kinda, no, I did want to ask her to get some coffee with me. But I wimped out and simply said see ya next week. In the end I don’t think that was the worst decision I could make, since I would like to kinda get to know her more (and more than anything get a reading on what she might think of me).</p>
<p>The point is you just gotta take a chance sometimes man. The worst thing that’ll happen is the girl will ignore you, or she’ll reject your advances. It’ll hurt for about 5-10 seconds and then you get over it and go on to the next one. I know what you might be thinking, “but what if I DO have a chance with this girl depending on how I approach her?” and frankly, you simply either have a chance or you don’t. That’s what it was for me, but I finally decided to just TALK to her. And y’know what? It seems to be going alright. But sitting on your laurels constantly waiting for the right moment to talk will leave you with nothing, while taking a chance and talking could either leave you with nothing (AKA your current state) or something.</p>
<p>And remember, they’re just guys with different anatomy. Don’t psych yourself out thinking you’re talking to some sort of deity. It’s just a girl. Don’t give her a vibe that you want to jump her bones and you’ll be fine.</p>
<p>Here’s all I can tell you. Some guys have a good batting average, so to get a few hits they don’t have to take a whole lot of swings. Some guys have a bad batting average, and all that means is you gotta take more swings.</p>
<p>“am currently in 3 clubs, but I don’t want to make girlfriends with anybody in those because it would be pretty awkward, especially seeing how two of them are quite “serious” clubs and the other is a music club which happens to have no girls, even though it’s open to both sexes.”</p>
<p>When I was in college, and when I was a college professor, many students met their sig others through their activities in campus ECs. That can be a good way of connecting with others who share your interests and values. Yes, it can sometimes be awkward, particularly when break-ups occur, but that’s life.</p>
<p>Talk to the girl who catches your interest and don’t be discouraged if she’s not interested.</p>
<p>Well if you dont have any friends it’s kind of hard to meet people at places you typically meet people you would date. Everyone in my group of friends met the sig other by hanging out with friends. As in, hanging out with friends in the dorms or going to parties or even just going to school sponsored events. You use similar skills to get a gf as you would to get a friend, as in conversation topics. You just add a little flirting.</p>
<p>seriously…</p>
<p>first you ask “are friends really necessary?” and then you ask “how to meet a girl?”</p>
<p>Yes, friends really are necessary. They are the reason for living, so you can have fun with friends doing things which will ultimately bring you happiness. I’m pretty sure no one works so hard in school and college so they can just get a job, and work for the rest of their life and then die. That would suck and there would be no meaning to life. You would have ultimately worked for nothing. </p>
<p>Second, meeting girls is going to be hard if you rule out every option. Girls are not colleagues. They are just girls. You can meet them anywhere and everywhere. Just because a club is “serious” doesn’t mean you can’t go up to a girl in that club and just talk to her a little bit every time the club meets. Its called building a relationship.</p>
<p>It’s going to be hard to get a girlfriend if you don’t see the value of having friends. Perhaps what you’re looking for is simply sex with no other type of relationship at all with the woman. If so, you’re more likely to find that from a prostitute than from a woman at your college.</p>
<p>Honestly, if you don’t believe in friendships or relationships, you aren’t likely to find a woman who’ll want to spend any time with you unless you’re paying her.</p>
<h2>Perhaps what you’re looking for is simply sex with no other type of relationship at all with the woman. If so, you’re more likely to find that from a prostitute than from a woman at your college. ~ Northstarmom</h2>
<p>Right, because we all know college girls don’t have casual sexual encounters, one night stands or “friends with benefits”, huh?</p>
<p>The OP just needs to get some GTL in his life.</p>
<p>“Perhaps what you’re looking for is simply sex with no other type of relationship at all with the woman. If so, you’re more likely to find that from a prostitute than from a woman at your college.”</p>
<p>not necessarily.</p>
<p>“Right, because we all know college girls don’t have casual sexual encounters, one night stands or “friends with benefits”, huh?”</p>
<p>You missed my point. I don’t think any woman except a prostitute would want to have a sexual relationship with someone who doesn’t want any kind of relationship at all. From how the OP describes himself in his “are friends really necessary”, he doesn’t seem like he wants to have any kind of relationship with others except business contacts.</p>
<p>He doesn’t like to party. He says he’s perfectly happy having fun by himself, and it sounds like that means he’s happy to do that all of the time. Why would any woman want to spend time with him to have sex? Yes, some college students have “friends with benefits” relationships, but they are friends. He doesn’t want friends.</p>
<p>Sounds like he just wants his sexual needs met. He can do that legally by visiting brothels in Nevada. Otherwise, I think he’ll be hard up to find women who are willing to do that. He doesn’t sound like he likes other people, so doesn’t sound like what women would be looking for in a sex buddy. Women who just want to get laid can find more appealing partners.</p>
<p>If strippers are anything to go by then prostitutes must be incredibly expensive.</p>
<h2>You missed my point. I don’t think any woman except a prostitute would want to have a sexual relationship with someone who doesn’t want any kind of relationship at all ~ Northstarmom</h2>
<p>No, I got you’re point, and you are still very wrong. As stated, tons of girls have casual sexual encounters and one night stands, I’m surprised you are so unaware of this. It’s not hard to find casual sex, go to any night club or frat party and you’ll find it pretty easily.</p>
<p>And believe it or not, the females aren’t always interested in a relationship. Sometimes they just are looking to get some too.</p>
<p>The OP needs to GTL (Gym, Tan, Laundry) and start being social.</p>
<p>I mean, who would want to date someone who doesn’t see a reason to have friends?</p>
<p>Yeah, sounds like a hot date to me!</p>
<h2>I see those girls as colleagues and not dates ~ Registerer</h2>
<p>Are you serious?</p>
<p>“As stated, tons of girls have casual sexual encounters and one night stands, I’m surprised you are so unaware of this. It’s not hard to find casual sex, go to any night club or frat party and you’ll find it pretty easily.”</p>
<p>I’m very aware that it’s possible to find casual sex the way you describe. However, the OP has stated he doesn’t like to party or hang out with other people. He participates in clubs and ECs only to make business contacts. Otherwise, he’s happy being by himself. What woman would want to have even casual sex with someone like that unless it’s a business transaction – eg. unless she’s a prostitute?</p>
<p>Inflatable doll?</p>
<p>If you are interested in a girl, ask her to go on a date with you. To coffee, to a movie, etc. If she says yes, awesome- see where it goes.</p>
<p>Butttt…</p>
<p>If she says no, no big deal. Yeah you can get bummed out and take it personally but… you’re going to strike out once in a while. However, there are more girls than just that one, especially since at most colleges females take up more percentage than males.</p>
<p>Just move on and ask out someone else. No big deal.</p>
<p>I recently asked out a guy in one of my classes and he declined. Was I butthurt? Yeah yeah… of course. And I felt like a reject. But I was over it by the next day. It just happens.</p>
<p>Don’t be in too big of a rush to get a girlfriend. Just let things happen naturally.</p>
<p>He was asking if friends were necessary because he doesn’t have any.</p>
<p>And now he’s interested in a girlfriend because he wants some sort of friend who might actually give a damn about his day and his life.</p>
<p>Northstarmom came out swingin pretty harsh there.</p>
<p>I do have friends - it’s just that I can’t quite find a way to make them “deeper” friends instead of just people who are slightly more than acquaintances and colleagues, so I was thinking about giving up on making friends for good.</p>
<p>And about considering girls as colleagues rather than dates, yes, I am serious. Well, at least I consider them as colleagues before I consider them as dates. Is there something wrong?</p>