<p>I am not sure this right place to ask this question. It is college related, so, I post here anyways.</p>
<p>My H wants to work overseas. Since my S has 2 more years in HS, he definitely can not go to overseas for HS. Basically, my H wants me stay here with kids until my S goes to college. I dont like this idea. Honestly, the place he wants to go plus his position, he will definitely have younger girls soon. For woman like me has kid in HS, I know what is going on out here. But, my H keeps saying he might lose his job here. I ask him to wait, but, looks like he is not going to wait. Should I let him go???</p>
<p>Why can’t your son go overseas for high school? I know plenty of kids who have done that for reasons like your son’s.</p>
<p>And, no, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to stay home for 2 years with your kids while your H is overseas. Sounds like a recipe for divorce. I’m also wondering why that’s the solution your H is suggesting instead of looking for a way for the whole family to go abroad.</p>
<p>I can believe that your H might lose his job if his employers want him to go overseas and he turns down that offer. What I’m having problems with is how your H seems to think the solution is for you and the kids to stay home alone for 2 years.</p>
<p>Our neighbors were in a similar position. When their oldest daughter was going to be a sophomore he was transferred overseas. She was upset at first, but it ended up being a great decision. The kids absolutely thrived there. They went to an international high school (usually English is the spoken language at these american/international high schools) and met amazing people, got to experience things I probably never will, and took up a fairly uncommon sport for which the daughter is now being recruits by the whole HYPMS gang</p>
<p>Of course their experience is unique, but maybe some good can still come of having to move, if you do decide to?</p>
<p>Based on the facts that you’ve given, your husband’s taking a new job overseas with a new company seems like too big of a risk to take. Would make more sense for him to seek other employment while hanging onto his present job.</p>
<p>What type of position would your H be pursuing overseas? If it’s the kind of job that would allow the family to accompany him, that would be optimum. There are some great American Schools overseas that would provide the continuity your S would need.</p>
<p>If your son knows English, there aren’t very many places where he would not be able to attend an American or English school. Another possibility would be to send the son to a boarding school while you move with your husband.</p>
<p>The International Baccalaureate program is a two-year program (grades 11 and 12), so if there is an IB school available, your son is the right age for it. It could be a great opportunity for your son, perhaps even something that would make him stand out in the midst of other applicants.</p>
<p>My family lived overseas for two years. We had many chances to travel and experience new foods and cultures. My children learned a lot. It was a rich experience for us.</p>
<p>Unless the job is in a high risk location (like Baghdad), it is STANDARD for companies to pay salaries that will cover living expenses for the family as well as tuition and fees at a private “international” school where the children can continue in their current educational tracks. If a US curriculum school is not available locally, and there is no English-language school following a British curriculum, the company helps pay for boarding school. This should all be in the contract he is being offered right along with the amount dedicated to cover your moving expenses and whether or not there will be a company car for the family’s use. High risk locations pay even better because the company assumes that the family will either be staying in the US, or re-locating to the closest safe country for the time the job lasts and two households will need to be supported.</p>
<p>If he really is good enough to be hired for this kind of job, the company should be offering all of this. If they aren’t, this is a company that either doesn’t want him enough, OR is a company he doesn’t want to be working for.</p>
<p>Is it China your H is going? If so, yea, the temptation is huge over there and you are writing a divoice ticket in two years.
OTOH, there are plenty of English speaking, American equivalent HS over there, especially in BJ and Shanghai. You should at ease of the acadamic transition.</p>
<p>We moved when my son was entering junior year of high school and another was going into 8th grade. It was painful for them, yes, but it was a family move, and they were part of the family. My husband’s job brought him there, and I did not think that raising my boys without a father 5 days a week (he would have come home most weekends, and did the few months before we moved) was a good idea. In my case, other women were not even on my mind. It was a matter of keeping the family together as much as possible. Once the kids leave for college, home is often no longer your house. I didn’t want my husband to not be part of their lives during those teen years. Not to mention the fact that I felt I needed someone watching my back in dealing with these turbulent years and being a support.</p>
<p>Those reasons are sufficient to move the whole family to where ever your husband is working. I would not even bring up the “other women” issue as that just makes trouble. Yes, it will be hard for your son. It will also be ever so beneficial in learning first hand another culture. To me, that was what made a lot of the richness in Obama’s upbringing. I know many, many folks whose parents moved a lot, were part of the military or other organization that required overseas postings and moves at a drop of a notice. That is part of life. Unless there is truly an overriding reason why your son needs to stay at his school, and I am talking “overriding reason” being a special education sort of thing that you absolutely cannot get for a handicapped child overseas, I would move the family. Just my opinion, of course.</p>
<p>As a woman, I am also going to add, that if you truly feel that your H is going to wander with the temptations overseas, I don’t know if your being there is going to prevent that. I know of many cases where this has happened right in the family’s faces. I hope that you can find someone who is familiar with such situations to discuss this with you and help you cope with the decisions and outcomes of the next few years.</p>
<p>Yes, the temptation is huge over there. I have heard that 100% of guys in this situation would have other women. In here, they are just regular guys, but over there, they are different.</p>
<p>If your posting is close to an American or International school, your child will be fine entering as a junior–there will be lots of kids in a similar situation. We know of a family moving overseas with a son entering his Senior year (!)–and they’re looking forward to it. It sounds like your and your husband need to make your decision considering the other factors.</p>