<p>Hello all, I'm new here. I don't know if I'm putting this in the right place but I really just need help right now and would just like opinions and advice from parents and other students alike. I have graduated from high school back in June and will be attending UCF in the Fall. However, I feel as if I don't want to go to college anymore or do anything. I've been reading up a lot on college life and stuff and while there's been some stories I've read that described it as exhilarating, I've also read that it's simply "too many difficult obstacles and struggles that it's not worth it". I will be leaving home and I feel very bad leaving as I am the youngest of 3; my brother and sister both go to FAU. I'm very close with all my family and I don't think I'd be able to handle being separated, despite my future plans of transferring to a school in Los Angeles of New York City... I know that it'll really help me out for my major to be in those areas but these strong ties are what's keeping me... I don't know if it's anxiety that's getting to me or just plain "I don't know what I want" right now. </p>
<p>What my plans were for a long time was to do two years at UCF, and then transfer to a university in Los Angeles or New York (such as UCLA, USC, LMU, or NYU). However, I know that they're all very tough to get into, and I guess it's discouraging me from even going through with the plan to at least apply. I applied to USC and NYU and was rejected from both as a high school senior, and I was sad/scarred for a while. I felt all the hard work I did was for nothing. I don't know if I'd be able to bare reading rejection letters again as a junior in college when I REALLY want to go to one of those schools. </p>
<p>I want to study Film Production so that's another downer for me, top that off with being Out of State and I have a pretty pathetic chance of getting in. I feel like there's just so many obstacles and struggles that I'm starting to wonder why bother.... **I REALLY want to go to Los Angeles for college (and eventually live there) and the only real reason I stayed behind to go to UCF was because I didn't want to truly leave by going out of state.** I could've gone to RIT or BC in New York but chose not to for those reasons. </p>
<p>I want to reapply as a transfer to those colleges and move to Los Angeles as a junior but I just don't know if I should. I'm sorry if I sound so whiny and needy but I'm just at a loss. I was so excited about starting college just a few months ago and now as it's approaching ever so closer (one month!) I feel the opposite. What if I hate it and become depressed and homesick? Idk.... I feel as if it's tearing me apart. I've NEVER been this way before. I get compliments alot and people say I have a bright future with all my plans but I just don't know... I feel like I'm letting everyone down with my uneasiness. I was always so happy and outgoing and putting all of this pressure on me in one year is really taking its toll... </p>
<p>Sorry for the long rant... I just really need help coping I guess. :[ I'm only 17 and I'm already thinking of my life 20 years from now...</p>
<p>It’s very normal to feel anxious about the big change your life is about to undergo. Some days you will feel excited, other days you want to hide in your bed. Allow yourself some room to process how you feel. It will get better :)</p>
<p>First of all, college doesn’t guarantee success.</p>
<p>Second of all, taking a year off to think things through is never a bad thing. A lot of times kids jump in not knowing what the **** they’re doing, and end up disappointed. Does it really matter that you graduated at 22 vs 23?</p>
<p>Lastly, I didn’t really read your post.</p>
<p>If you want film production, then UCF has better film dept than FAU. You might not need to transfer to LA, since there are internship opportunities at Disney and Universal. An actress I know began at UCF, and now works on shows in Miami area, and still lives at home, near FAU.</p>
<p>Another student, more in music production, went to FAU and interned in Miami branches of Sony, and others. </p>
<p>I guess I would look at the course requirements between the two schools. If UCF truly has a far better program, then I would take the risk and try it. You can plan to come home fairly often, at least initially. If you don’t feel ready to make the separation, then take general requirements at FAU.</p>
<p>I certainly can offer no opinion if you are ready for a college a few hours from home or not, or if you have a fear of leaving home this year.</p>
<p>One thing at a time. For now, focus on what you’ll be doing in 2012/13. Not what you’ll be doing in 2014/15. Plan your junior year when you’re a sophomore, not before you’re a freshman. </p>
<p>If you’re anxious about leaving home, consider what your life would be like if you stayed. Would you commute to FAU? Attend community college? Work? A little of both? What about your friends? Will they be home? Or away at college? Where are your brother and sister? Living at home? At school? On their own? </p>
<p>I raise these questions because home life in September may or may not look anything like home life in July. Find out what that reality will be and make your decision from there. Don’t use high school or this summer as your basis for comparison. </p>
<p>Good luck. :)</p>
<p>One way to take pressure off yourself is to acknowledge your doubts out loud. When someone says, wow, sounds like youve got your life all planned out, dont just smile and nod, say something like, yeah a lot of pieces have to fall into place but this is what Im hoping for. Or if someone says you must be really excited about going to college, you can say, to tell the truth, Im a little nervous about leaving home for the first time. </p>
<p>Letting people know that youre not 100% confident about the next few years will ratchet down the pressure youre putting on yourself to do exactly what youve said youre going to do and will likely cause whoever youre talking to to offer reassurance or perspective or agreement.</p>
<p>Thank you all so much for your replies. It helps to know I’m not alone.</p>
<p>@sylvan: That’s exactly how I feel. Some days I just can’t wait to experience a new chapter. Other days I dread it and I don’t know why. Maybe I’m still unsure…?</p>
<p>@tselliott: I know, I’m sorry for the long rant. I felt I had to let everything out because it was bothering me. Long story short I’m unsure if I really want to go to college anymore despite all the excitement it supposedly promises, because of all the struggles it also comes with, like separation, trials, struggles… sorry for being deep, haha.</p>
<p>@bookworm: Thanks for the reply, very informative. I was thinking of doing something like that, but I’d figured it’s too late since I already paid my deposit and am about to go to Orientation at UCF next week. I know UCF has connections with Disneyland/World (or so I was told) which is another reason I’m staying there for a while. I just feel like there would be more opportunities at a different location, where films are made, such as LA or NYC.</p>
<p>@DougBetsy: Thanks, I appreciate your sympathy. Yeah I’m always told not to rush things but I guess I just want to have plans so that I won’t fall behind and not know what I’m doing, haha. If I stayed then I would have to go to FAU and their film department isn’t very good from what I’ve come to know, even though it would be cheaper. I’d probably also lose my scholarships because of a change in schools and I would be able to work, though I’ll try to be hunting for a decent job in Orlando too if I can take my car. Several of my friends are going to UCF; I will be in contact often with my best friend since we’re staying at the same place. Both my brother and sister live at home. </p>
<p>@Wellspring: Thanks for your information, I actually am guilty of saying “yeah a lot of pieces fall into place” though I do point out I have mixed feelings of leaving, as no one has left in my family before (my bro and sis are both at home) and I will be the first. Considering I’m the youngest (they’re 21 and 22 respectively), it just feels… like a lot I guess. </p>
<p>Once again, thanks so much for the replies. Really appreciate it. :)</p>
<p>My son’s high school friends, brothers from New England with an intense dedication to film-making and awards in their pockets, chose UCF as the ideal school to pursue this field, and they are now working in the business. You may find that transferring is totally unnecessary. I agree that you’re planning too far in advance. See how freshman year goes and how you like the film program. Chances are you’ll be happy at UCF and will also adjust to being away from home as you mature.</p>
<p>Take one year at a time. Many entering freshmen change their major, it is too soon to map out your schooling years from now. Change is always scary. At your age/stage in life it is inevitable. Embrace your current college and go to orientation with positive feelings. Give the college you chose a try. Months from now you will be a different person, just as you transitioned from school to school as a child you will make another successful transition. I imagine you once thought HS was scary, middle school, perhaps kindergarten. Your plans as a five year old evolved to today’s plan, next year you will have new information and experiences that influence your next steps. Enjoy the here and now, the future will unfold as it should. Going away to college as a freshman is a once in a lifetime opportunity I wish every child could experience. Don’t worry about your age- you won’t be the youngest, and college kids don’t care (son was 16 for his first few months at big state U and no one noticed or cared, he did fine and you will too).</p>
<p>FWIW, FAU doesn’t have a film production program.</p>
<p>They have a major in Communications with emphasis on Film Studies, but it’s primarily film criticism and theory. There are only a few production classes and no formal film school.</p>
<p>I wish there was, and there may be in time, but right now there is not.</p>
<p>Because of your screen name, I feel like I know you. (My son’s essay was about how *The Nightmare Before Christmas *changed his life.) Here is a kind of radical idea that may work for you. Check out the film and broadcasting programs at your local community colleges. My son has settled into the Radio & TV Broadcasting program at our local community college. We know a couple of kids who are going to school at a neighboring county’s cc…it has a great film editing concentration. </p>
<p>A program like that will let you take classes in film, production, etc right away. I get the feeling that if you have to take 2 or 3 semesters of purely gen ed classes…bio, comp, history, etc., you might not do well and may even leave school.</p>
<p>An Associates Degree in broadcasting or film will end with an intership, which will give you valuable experience…wouldn’t it be nice if your part time job was at a TV station instead of at Target, for example?</p>
<p>Anyway, just an idea. Don’t assume that your classmates at cc would be poor students or losers…lots of people go there for financial reasons, for the specific programs, because they need to stay close to home, because they are raising a family, etc.</p>