<p>Pizzagirl...that's a beautiful story! I would guess that your dad, as he grew into an adult, became self-motivated with an inner drive to succeed.</p>
<p>Great story, SlitheyTove. My undergraduate adviser at Ohio State was a full professor, nationally acclaimed and the editor of one of the three main journals in his field (the other two were edited at Stanford and Oxford).</p>
<p>He invited me senior year to take an advanced reading seminar with his doctoral students, and treated me no differently than a fifth year Ph.D candidate--same reading load, same cutting analysis of my presentations, same very hard grading standards. He and another Chicago alumnus in my field also took a very personal and vested interest in getting me into graduate school--ended up at the Committee on International Relations at Chicago. That class and that professor remained--even after my Chicago experience--the highlight of my education and a big reason why I donate funds to the fellowship fund established in his memory each year.</p>
<p>I figure that I better say something here. </p>
<p>This thing started this past Friday. It was pretty late and I just found out the DD was working on her essay for the full ride competition. The dealine was 11:59PM so she was rushing it throuht. While she knew she must get this done that night, she spent the whole afternoon at school helping GC and got home after 8 PM. </p>
<p>I unplugged the power switch in the middle of anger. So, she did not meet the deadline nor was anything submitted. </p>
<p>While most of you mentioned EC is valuable to college, I am sure you will agree that EC should be some meaningful activities. If one student put down - helping GC for 5 hours, you think the scholarship committee will be impressed to give one a scholarship? </p>
<p>Finishing your application before the last minute and have a well reviewed essay is not as important as 5 hours of general helping in an office? No way the scholarship reviewers will know that she submitted a poor essay at the last minute was because she was helping out GC at school. </p>
<p>It is not really about pushing or asking her to do things my way. To me, it is about appreciating my hard working that gives her the opportunity to do these EC. It just not fair, to me, for her to spent time doing EC that day rather than working on application so the hard working father does not have to work until 85 to retire. </p>
<p>Just to make sure my point is clear. It was not about whether she should do EC in general or not. This is the deadline day for a major scholarship. Do you spend a couple hours working on the application or help out GC until 8? (that is after a whole day of school work). You tell me.</p>
<p>Don't forget all the industrial-academic partnerships that are generally set up with public research universities. The corporations get tax breaks & the state schools get academic firepower and prestige. Everybody wins. These research opportunities for students may or may not be better than those available at HYP; but they are certainly unique to those public universities. THe program a Harvard kid is involved in is not available to the Ohio State kid. And vice versa. Both will move the kid's career forward, though. I guess some parents would prefer the fast-food-burger-joint-punishment track, but I'd feel pretty confident that my kid could do very well as an honor track student at Ohio State.</p>
<p>So let me get this straight . . . your daughter is working on a scholarship application and getting ready to send it off. Because she didn't do it according to YOUR schedule, you unplugged/turned off the computer so she couldn't turn it in? Something that could have eased your financial burden?</p>
<p>Man, you're even more malicious and misguided than I thought!! Talk about cutting off one's nose to spite your face.</p>
<p>I guess you really "showed" your daughter!!</p>
<p>
[quote]
I unplugged the power switch in the middle of anger. So, she did not meet the deadline nor was anything submitted.
[/quote]
And this helps her college/scholarship chances how???</p>
<p>Maybe she is spending time with the GC because the counselor appreciates her for what she is and is not constantly berating & criticizing her. Just a thought....</p>
<p>To me - that is a case for anger management program - DADII you shot off your own toe in anger - so now there is no chance at this scholarship at all - even tho she was working on it for submission - sorry - but this was your own fault then - don't hang the blame for not being in the running on your daughter - it was YOU who short changed her on this.</p>
<p>My friend's daughter's outrageously priced college consultant says the most important thing to do in the college application process is make sure your guidance counselor thinks you're the greatest kid ever!!! I can't think of a better way to do that then help the GC out in the office for five hours...</p>
<p>I suspect StickerShock may also have a point...</p>
<p>And this helps how? For all you know, the essay would have been excellent. She is not two years old. She knows how to manage her time. I know that when I was in college and graduate school (a very long time ago) I would kind of write most of the paper in my head while I was driving or during slow times at work, so that when I actually sat down to write, it would not take very long or very much editing. Each person has their own working style and by the time they are 15 or 16, I think they have more or less found it.</p>
<p>So you will never know if her essay could have gotten her the scholarship, but you are going to punish her and be mad at her for not trying hard enough. That is really smart.</p>
<p>
[quote]
This is the deadline day for a major scholarship. Do you spend a couple hours working on the application or help out GC until 8? (that is after a whole day of school work). You tell me.
[/quote]
OK, I'll tell you. I work much better under pressure. If I have too much time to read/think about/review my writing, I tend to screw it up. Too many revisions. I end up leaving sentence fragments, confusing things that were otherwise clear, second-guessing myself. So no, I wouldn't spend a couple hours working on the application, and I guess your d wouldn't either (just as she didn't need to spend a weekend studying for a test, as you requested, and aced it anyway).</p>
<p>And you know for a fact that your d just began working on the essay at the last minute? Or did she write a draft a day or two before, let it sit and then edited it at the last minute (also a valid way of working).</p>
<p>Sorry, you did want her to work your way according to your schedule.</p>
<p>And you've now eliminated a needed source of financial aid because of your anger. And will you continue to blame your daughter for "making you mad"?</p>
<p><<i guess="" some="" parents="" would="" prefer="" the="" fast-food-burger-joint-punishment="" track,="" but="" i'd="" feel="" pretty="" confident="" that="" my="" kid="" could="" do="" very="" well="" as="" an="" honor="" track="" student="" at="" ohio="" state.="">></i></p><i guess="" some="" parents="" would="" prefer="" the="" fast-food-burger-joint-punishment="" track,="" but="" i'd="" feel="" pretty="" confident="" that="" my="" kid="" could="" do="" very="" well="" as="" an="" honor="" track="" student="" at="" ohio="" state.="">
<p>I believe that, earlier in this thread, the original poster made it clear that he considers each of the above to be one and the same. ;)</p>
<p>As an Ohio State alumnus, I hope that D ends up in Columbus. She sounds like a great well-rounded kid who would excel academically while being able to catch her breath and enjoy life at a large, diverse campus.</p>
</i>
<p>Makes me wonder how often parents - or if they ever - consider their actions as possibly being abusive towards their college seeking kids - man!!! With all the pressure and demands that high school seniors experience (many of them at least - not all) - this is wayyyy above and beyond stressfull and demanding by a parent.</p>
<p>I just sense that this girl just can't please her father - no matter WHAT she does. I feel sorry for the daughter in all of this.</p>
<ol>
<li>but this is way after the QC's letters to all schools. Any work from now on is valuable to HS and locall community. However, it will have no bearing what so ever to college scholarship. QC will not send one more letter just because DD help them out now.<br></li>
</ol>
<p>This will teach she a lesson that one should not wait until the last minutes to work on important things. If I let her do it this time, many more of such thing will happen.</p>
<p>DadII, I'm going to side with the posters who suggested counseling and anger management classes. Please seriously consider this option. Yanking the cord did not help the financial situation a bit. Now you will never know how fabulous that essay could have been! My D whipped up an essay that placed at the top of a statewide competition in less than 2 hours, and produced a bunch of mediocre ones which were still mediocre after multiple edits.</p>
<p>Added: now you are guaranteed that many more of such things WILL happen.</p>
<p>What college scholarship DAD - you just blew it out of the water - out of reach!! ggrrrrr</p>
<p>Back off - because this is now sounding abusive IMHO - 'this will teach she a lesson.......'' - you are rediculous - hope she survives long enough to get to a college.</p>
<p>OK - she doesn't get to submit app - not a candidate for $$ - dad mad - DD upset - dad mad about$$/threatens DD - DD can't win - sad for DD - dad needs professional help/digging own grave over $$/pride - will drive DD away - dad will wonder why GEEEESH</p>
<p>In high schools that send lots of kids to certain colleges, the GCs have relationships with admissions officers from those schools and may speak with them about individual students. </p>
<p>But if your daughter is helping out because she is a nice kid, that's even better ! Be happy that you are blessed with her! If you are real, and now I'm having doubts...you should seek counseling. This thread is really disturbing and I'm afraid something really awful is going to happen.</p>
<p>We've all said the same things again and again - in this thread and in the prior incantations of this with this poster. It doesn't seem to help.</p>
<p>DadII, in addition to anger management issues, you have some real separation/control issues to deal with. This is your daugther's college application process - not yours. Give it a rest.</p>
<p>I actually think it time for the MODS to lock up this thread!</p>
<p>ColoradoMomof2 -- yes, you expressed it well. I am not so quick to think he is a troll, either, though I really can't say. However, I know families -- Asian and non-Asian, who will not accept their kids being less than #1, or sometimes they have to, but are not happy about it! -- actually, now that I think about it, I know far too many people like this! It feels to me like DadII is expressing what I think goes on in many families, only they are not quite so open about it. </p>
<p>The element that is a little off and leads to troll speculation is the part about how the child is wasting her time getting involved in community activities when she could be using that time to write a better essay, study more for the test. The blowing off of worthwhile ways of spending one's time is so extreme. </p>
<p>I get the impression that that DadII's daughter has spent much more time studying and preparing than the average kid, (or above average kid, if you will) but DadII thinks if she does even more, if she just works even harder, she will reach HIS goals. Her efforts aren't good enough because he is not seeing the perfect results he wants to see. He sees any time spent doing something else instead of working to get those perfect results as wasted. </p>
<p>That's the impression I get from all this.</p>
<p>DadII,
Get some exercise, reduce your blood pressure. That sounds bad. Your health is most important. You are loosing it.</p>
<p>To other posters, please don't bait him anymore.</p>
<p>
[quote]
It feels to me like DadII is expressing what I think goes on in many families, only they are not quite so open about it.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Agree with the above. I think the reason he is so damn honest is because he thinks he is being anonymous.</p>