<p>ps- your parents came here to make a better life and if those colleges aren't "good enough" for them, too bad...they need to get over it...those colleges and many others are good enough for hundreds of thousands of students...</p>
<p>if your family is locked into the ivy-hype, that is really sad indeed </p>
<p>many immigrants are so happy to have their kids get into college-period-as are many Americans- look at this website, count your blessings and embrace your options, you are far luckier than most and if you care about what those back home think and their "disappointment" you need to let that go. THIS generation needs to show those back home that most colleges in America are very worthy of respect as are the kids that go there</p>
<p>by dissing those schools, you are dissing those students and THAT is wrong</p>
<p>and PS my husband was an immigrant and anyone who calls those schools "second rate" well, isn't part of your pressure your own fault if you yourself pereived those amazing schools that way?</p>
<p>I for one don't feel sorry for the OP, he/she should count her blessings</p>
<p>Corsten1: Are you really this much of a pretentious jerk? "even Brown" you kidding? You don't even deserve where you got in, and that's the god-honest truth.</p>
<p>Don't go to Tufts. I don't want to meet you.</p>
<p>
[quote]
What's with all this ivy hype? Sure the whole HYP are amazing schools, but I'd argue in a heartbeat that a school like Johns Hopkins is better than a decent chunk of the ivy league schools.
<p><em>sigh</em>
I can imagine how you feel.
(for everyone else, saying "I would KILL to get into ____" won't help...unless this guy is only trying to fish for compliments)
First of all, I don't get how your family members haven't heard of Johns Hopkins. My parents were immigrant parents but they've heard of Johns Hopkins and Boston College and the like (granted they were educated here but whatev.) And yes, maybe your relatives are going to say things like "JHU? I've never heard of it. I'm so disappointed in you." But do know that this does NOT mean that you will be less successful/make less money than your cousins/friends who are going to ivies! In fact, if you go to a school like JHU you will probably still be on the same plane as them in terms of job opportunities and prestige of schools. Trust me, in the US, JHU has as much prestige as Brown and Cornell and those schools (maybe even more!). So after a few years and you graduate and you make more money than your cousins/friends, you can stick it in their faces and be like "Ha! I'm rich!" or something like that.</p>
<p>And if you ever feel like you've worked so hard and have not gotten anything out of it, think: how much did you learn? How much did you gain from doing volunteer work, or leading others in clubs, or even studying vocabulary for SATs? This stuff doesn't just end with college admissions, it carries on in your life. Nothing you do is in vain. I know, it might be hard to argue with narrow-minded immigrant parents, but you don't have to succumb to their ignorance. Just tell them that in the US, JHU has probably a BETTER reputation than brown (I've heard of JHU a few years before I've heard of Brown btw--it really does have a better reputation). And that you don't need Harvard to make more money than they've ever had ;)</p>
<p>I don't know why people are beating up on the OP. The pressure CAN be very intense. As the OP said, his parents didn't come here for "Tufts" they came for the Ivies. Knowing how much his parents sacrificed to come to this country, and knowing how important the "Brand name" is important to his parents (regardless of the merit of this claim), it is not only reasonable but EXPECTED that he'd have this sort of reaction to his rejections. Notice that all the international students could strongly empathize with his situation. Now, to the OP. Even though I'm not in your position I think you need to move on. I think you should get excited about one of your schools, be it JHU, Tufts, Georgetown. Look at their course catalog, extracurricular offerings, visit the schools. At least for me, I know it's easy for me to get excited about a college so hopefully it is for you too. However this remedy only helps with your own feeling of inadequacy. To deal with the people at home, I would tell them about the great things about your schools. JHU has a world class biomedical engineering program and medical school, Georgetown educated a past President, etc. That will get them really excited about your university of choice. Good Luck!</p>
<p>So what if they came here for the "ivys" which i sincerely doubt and if the brand name is so important then they need to learn more about their adopted homeland</p>
<p>So what if the international students empathize- they are also ignoring the thousands of other schools for to focus on less then a couple dozen...their loss I suppose</p>
<p>The children of new immigrants have to walk both worlds, but in doing so, need to educate their families as to the realities of America and to say that ANY college is a wonderful thing</p>
<p>Don't doubt it. These people came for their children to have a world class education so they could have a better life. And don't say "So what" To me that is extremely condescending and marginalizes the sacrifices they made to come here. Until you've moved to another country with different belief systems than yours in the hopes of creating a future not for yourself, but your kids, be careful before you make sweeping generalizations about what they should know and how to behave. And anyway, if there's one thing you should know, there's no changing how these people think in this respect (until after the fact basically)</p>
<p>To OP: I did not realize you were serious. I misunderstood your post as a troll post. I apologize. I now see how you feel. Regardless of how irrational, it is still the case that some around you will feel disappointed with your outcome. Try to see the bright side- in the <em>real</em> world, the schools you got into are great, even if they don't confer the same bragging rights as those prestige schools. </p>
<p>So what if you need a few Caramel Macchiatos to help you deal with it. This too shall pass, and you will be stronger for it.</p>
<p>Don't feel like a failure. A lot of people I know would absolutely die to get into the schools you got into. So the people "back home" may not have heard of Georgetown or the like, but realize that the school you go to as an undergraduate is only paving the way for you to go to graduate school, which I'm assuming you're considering. If you could go to Harvard as a grad student, that would be so much more than making it as an undergrad. Besides, you should chose school with your major in mind and not just its prestige. So as mean as this may sound, suck it up and be happy that you even got into John Hopkins, Georgetown, etc and I hope you have fun there. ^.^</p>
<p>Its the idea that you can't have a future UNLEss you go to the IVYS that is the issue here and believe me, I know that when people come here they have sacraficed, worked hard, done menial and back breaking work, that doesn't mean that they need to have the attitude that only 12 or so schools are good enough</p>
<p>that puts unwarranted pressure on the student- that only one path is acceptable, that only going to one of a very few schools is good enough, that is condesending to the student themself, their own child and to the hundreds of thousands of other kids that go to those "no-name' schools- </p>
<p>The OP needs to LET GO of other's perceptions and be proud of all they did...</p>
<p>If you find it condesending to say that people should see beyond those few schools, so be it</p>
<p>I live in a city of immigrants, and yes there is pressure, but there is also a sense of pride in even going to college- and not just the "top" few</p>
<p>The thing is...it is not that immigrants or international students don't know that they can be successful w/o attending ivies. It is rather a combination of emotional and psychological defeat for the OP or others in similar situations since these people came here thinking that they would work hard and expected to go to the ivies. Sure, anybody can get a top notch education elsewhere and become successful, but that's not why OP or anyone else in his shoes are feeling like this now. Getting rejected by ivies, to OP and the like, were like an emotional and phychological defeat. This is especially true among Asian immigrants or international students, speaking from experience.</p>
<p>I think people are being a little harsh to the OP.</p>
<p>I realize that you wrote this soon after you faced rejection, and you were sad. That's completely understandable. Rejection is difficult, especially when you feel pressure from your family to get into the most competitive schools. As a child of immigrants, I personally have felt that same pressure to succeed and do well. It is not just my parents or family pressuring me. More than anything, it's the pressure I put on myself because I know what they've sacrificed and given up for me. I know what it feels like to just want to impress them, and show them everything was worth it.</p>
<p>Don't get yourself down. You've gotten into great schools! Try to get excited by them, and get your parents excited. More than anything, your parents want you to be happy and succeed. Show them how great the schools you got into are, tell them how difficult they are to get into (I've found statistics on this are particularly appealing), and just let them know that you're excited about going to one of those schools and that they should be too!</p>
<p>I think what he found condescending was your use of "so what," because it just seemed like you were, as he said, marginalizing the struggles and sacrifices made my immigrant parents and saying they didn't matter.</p>
<p>He may have also been referring to "they need to learn more about their adopted homeland." That made it seem like you thought immigrant parents were completely ignorant about American life and culture.</p>
<p>And then in the second part, you seemed to say "screw the international students, I don't care if they empathize with the OP's feelings of pressure, they shouldn't feel empathy towards that ridiculous frame of mind."</p>
<p>Overall, I think it was just a poorly constructed post, that just sounded kind of snotty by the repetition of "so what." </p>
<p>I agree with you that children of immigrants should try to persuade parents to see outside of HYPS and other elite colleges.</p>
<p>I can understand how everyone's trying to tell the OP to "get over" the ivy mentaliy as well as everyone "back home." However, for azns, academic success is something that is prized above all else. When a son or daughter achieves academically, the entire family "gains face," especially in front of relatives back home. And the fact of the matter is, most of the relatives probably only know names like Harvard or Yale. Call it vain, but please remember that you're only seeing things in the American point of view. We're talking about centuries and centuries of tradition here. It's been like this in China as far as anyone can remember. And guys, please don't look at it with a negative connotation because that is just your egocentrism at work. It is degrading to have one's culture being mocked as "superficial" or whatnot.</p>
<p>So OP, I understand what you're going through, but please be more sensitive to other CC people when posting on this site. There are many of us who are going through hard times right now</p>
<p>I completely understand what the OP is saying, and I think he has every right to feel bad at this moment. In fact, I went through the same thing yesterday, being rejected/waitlisted by the 5 Ivies I applied to. Yes, for Asian families especially, there is a sense of pride revolving around getting into "brand name" schools. Yes, the fact that none of the Ivies wanted you may make you feel "inferior" to those who had received admission, especially from multiple schools. However, like many have mentioned, this is not indicative of your abilities as a student. Work hard in college; prove to those schools which turned you down that it was their loss. At the end of the day, what you're worried about is just your vanity. If you truly think you're of Ivy caliber, demonstrate it by continuing to pursue your academics and love for learning in college! I'm headed to Rice University this fall, and I'm extremely excited. I think you should be too, with all the great schools that you've been admitted to.</p>
<p>this excuse about being Azn is getting really old, sorry to say....</p>
<p>There are international students all over the world that would be thrilled to get into an American College, any american college, but we have some that only see a few as being worthy, and they do indeed need to "get over" that perception of only thinking a few schools are good enough for themselves or their children</p>
<p>They need to see that you can succeed in America with a state school education as well as a hypswhatever education, that you can succeed without becoming a doctor (mow many posts have I read about kids getting pushed into medical school or engineering when its the last thing they really want to do)</p>
<p>And I find it offensive that the schools that I went to, that my friends went to that my daughters went to are deemed unworthy</p>
<p>I know there are more schools in Europe than the Sorbonne and Oxford. And I would never think to judge anyone lesser for attending other colleges.</p>
<p>I don't think "being azn" is an excuse at all, citygirlsmom. It's just a sociocultural explanation as to why the OP feels the way he's feeling right now. Remember, a lot of the Asians who aim for the Ivies come from families with parents who left their home countries by getting into top schools and finding opportunities to come to the U.S. on scholarships. They are, as you could say, the "elite" of their own countries. I guess that might be why there's this Ivy mentality among the children of these Asian parents who feel that the Ivy League holds the same kinds of "opportunities". </p>
<p>Personally, however, I think the OP is disappointed not because of his parents' expectations, but because he thinks he "failed" to meet his goals. It happens to everyone; in psychology, there's the concept of relative deprivation. Because the OP has been comparing himself to other students who've gotten into the Ivies, he feels frustrated. It's natural, and for the most part, ephemeral. I've no doubt he'll find happiness at one of those other schools to which he was fortunate enough to receive admission.</p>