I am a sophomore at a small, private Christian liberal arts university. And honestly, I have been pretty bummed out since freshman year but it has gotten worse this year.
The main issue…lack of socializing. I was good friends with most of my suitemates from freshman year but all but 2 of them now commute. I never see any of them, I don’t text them anymore. Basically, we’re no longer friends. My roommate is my best friend but he wants to transfer. Even though I love him to pieces and want him to be happy, I kinda wish he would stay. Plus, anytime he becomes even remotely interested in a girl, like 100% of his social interactions are focused on her. I have gone out only one time with someone other than my 3 suitemates, 2 girls with boyfriends.
I just don’t know what to do to make more friends. I’m in the Honors College at my college but I don’t connect with hardly any of them. The people in my business classes all seem to just go to class, learn, and leave. There’s no opportunity to make friends. I don’t know hardly any accounting majors that are also sophomores. The two clubs I am in have done nothing for me socially. Nothing seems to happen on this dead ass campus. I am BORED and miserable because of it. I fear that I’ll graduate from this place with no friends, no girlfriend, nothing. I’ve thought about commuting, but if I commute it will most certainly be even worse.
I am also feeling unsatisfied with my school’s…abilities/options. Like I said, NOTHING happens here. There are no events that interest me in the slightest. The greek like here is literally just one frat and one sorority. The honors business frat does nothing. My clubs (even student government) don’t do anything really. Our sports events suck and are deprived of energy. I don’t feel like my education as an accounting major is as good as it could be. Like the instruction I’m receiving feels poor and I don’t think I should be feeling that way. I sometimes feel like I am just not at a prestigious enough school. Like I don’t even feel like I’m in college…my high school got way more live than this college could ever dream of getting. And I am not even a party-type person. I just want the people on this campus to do…something.
I am so conflicted. Do I transfer? Do I deal with it? Do I commute? I am slowly hating my college experience more and more each day.
If there really are no opportunities available to you, transferring sounds like the best option. Assuming you have a good GPA, there’s no harm in at least applying. Try to avoid transferring to schools that tend to have a lot of commuters, because that typically makes it much more difficult to get involved in the social scene.
You should also consider getting an on campus job. Oftentimes, good relationships can be built with coworkers, and it’s a huge plus if they go to college with you as well.
You said it’s a Christian college, so I assume you are a Christian or open to it. There should at least be some Christian groups you can get involved with and a local church. You could also start a Bible study or discipleship group yourself. I had a friend in college do this, and she met weekly with three other students for a study, and then met with them socially as well. They all became good friends. You could also “be the change” that you seek on campus by starting a new club, organizing new events, etc. You can look for opportunities to get involved off campus as well, and see what is going on in the surrounding community. A part-time job or volunteer work might make you feel more connected to the place.
First, I would look at your college academically.
Go the career office and ask where accounting majors get hired. Do they get hired? At what kind of firms? What kind do you want? Big 4? Second Tier? Corporate?
Talk to a professor about if this college is the best place for you.
What kind of social events would you like?
Parties? Concerts? Outdoorsy?
(although, i guess i can’t say much since we’re on the same boat.)
but, by all means, don’t transfer unless this school doesn’t mean anything to you. you’re in an honors college, so i’m assuming you thought long and hard before picking this college. if not? why not. transfer. go to a state college. go to ones that throw rad parties and live a social life.
but i’d have to say. this sounds harsh but changing your college might not change your situation. i go to the “party” school in my state and i’m still stuck in your situation. my point is…you might be the one that needs “changing” like they say" if you want something you’ve never had, then you’ve got to do something you’ve never done".
if you’re stuck in that “same” repetitive days, where you just feel lifeless…make a change on yourself.
ultimately, this might mean transferring. but if you ask me, i’d start with changes you can do where you are right now and see how that goes
Why did you pick this college in the first place? Was it money? Your parents? A specific program?
The main problems with transferring are that 1) it frequently doesn’t solve the problem and 2) financial aid is much harder to get and 3) all of your credits may not transfer. That being said, if you’ve tried many, many different ways to socialize and it’s just not a good match, transferring may be worth it.
I transferred myself to a business school, and I was not sorry at all, even though it took an extra year to graduate. Are there any schools you’ve thought of that might suit you better? Do you want to go bigger, or to a school that specializes in business, or to one in a more urban area with more to do, one with fewer commuters, one that doesn’t have a religious focus?
Think about what’s important to you and what you can afford. Will your parents be supportive?
If you really hate it, transfer. I transferred from a small, private, Jesuit school to a large, public school and it was the best decision I ever made.