i have a shadow...

<p>hey.
so college is going really well so far. i have only had one problem. there is this girl that constantly follows me around. she lives in the same dorm, however she can't access where i live because her key wont open the door. in the beginning she seemed like a nice normal girl, but she is actually really strange. she is very nice but i feel like socially she is missing some cues. one day it was extremely hot out (like dripping sweat, my dorm has no ac, its gross hot) and i invited her into my room and she literally flopped her entire sweaty body on my bed without asking and proceeded to say i want to nap and text on her phone.i mean she was laying on my book bag and pajamas.... i am too nice of a person to say something rude so instead i made us move to a building with ac before i got really angry. its not only that but she calls/texts me a lot, and its nice to have a friend always readily available for meals or just to hang but i feel like there are too many differences. like she is 22 and I'm 19. she seems to have more testosterone so she has facial hair, and a happy trail. i mean i try not to judge on people but it grosses me out. my roommate said that this girl could be hitting on me. i have nothing against same sex couples but i am definitely straight and don't want a gf. she seems to be clinging to me and i feel bad but she isn't trying to make new friends believe me i asked. i even told her she should talk to people in her class but she refuses. my mom said she could have a touch of Aspergers because she misses social cues.my mom also said that is not my responsibility to make sure she is okay. ...i have no clue what to do but she is driving me up a wall. any advice? tips? similar stories? please share!</p>

<p>Talk to her about it… Oh well it would be awkward… Why don’t you just stop replying or when you do reply write small messages like ‘ok’ or fine’. Give her indirect clue that you are not interest to talk to her, maybe she take down a notch or two?</p>

<p>I don’t know what to say but I guess you should tell her nicely at least that you are straight and just don’t want a gf right now because you have like focus on your studies because you have hard classes, just say stuff like that I guess, just tell her straight up</p>

<p>I think you should just give her some cold treatment. If you’re nice to her, she’s going to think that whatever she is doing is okay. Since she doesn’t really pick up social cues, you need to be really loud about your statements like ignoring her texts/calls consistently, and kind of ‘brush’ her off when you hang out with her, like you obviously do not care.</p>

<p>I don’t really have an experience just like that, but I did meet someone at work, when I used to work at a big store, who consistently tried to work with me, my section/department, then have lunch with me. I thought she was cool until we exchanged numbers and she literally texted me every day going “hey, what’s up?” “what are you doing?” “wanna work at the x section tomorrow?” then eventually “why aren’t you replying to me?”</p>

<p>She eventually got the hint when I stopped replying to her texts. Eventually.</p>

<p>It’s kind of mean but if you really do feel uncomfortable with her then you need to make it known that you need your space. It’s a little harsh to not reply to someone and I did feel bad because she was nice and I think unintentionally ‘clingy’ (for lack of a better word), but you do seem uncomfortable with the situation and her. I can’t offer any advice other than to tolerate her or get to know why she is doing what she does if you do want to be her friend. If not, probably giving her harsh treatment will separate you guys into acquaintances or nothing at all. I wouldn’t advise straight up talking because from my experience, people who don’t understand social cues take heart-to-heart talks the wrong way. But you can try (and this would be the most direct way lol) – I mean, I don’t completely know the situation and how she really is.</p>

<p>Ummmmmmm, socially awkward girl with no other friends and poor personal hygiene =/= lesbian. She sounds to me like she’s desperate for a friend - any friend - not hitting on you.</p>

<p>I have had a couple of friends like this and yes, letting them down gently/gradually and not answering their texts until they get the hint tends to work OK.</p>