My name is Andrea, I’m 16 and I attend both college and high school, I am in an early college program that allows me to attend college to get a better education, last semester I didn’t do so well in school and now I am in academic probation, what is the best way to tell my parents? Considering they are extremely strict.
Straight up. Sooner rather than having them find out some other way. With a solid plan for how you will get back on track.
Perhaps with the presence of an advisor or counselor? It could help you look like you’re proactive
They’re going to find out regardless! Please let them hear it from you, with humbleness and an explanation regarding how you’ve learned from this etc etc. I had strict parents, I hope yours aren’t also scary.
First spend 20 minutes figuring out what went wrong and how you’ll fix it.
Then choose a time when things are calm-- NOT when dinner is being made or the bills are being paid, not when mom or dad first walk in the door from work.
Start with “Mom, and Dad, I screwed up…” Don’t put the blame on anyone else, take full responsibility for your actions. And expect to have a bit less freedom this summer and next year than you did last year.
But know that you didn’t hurt anyone, you weren’t unkind, you simply messed up and need to get back on track.
It’s important that they hear it from you and not someone else, so please don’t let your dread of what’s going to happen stop you from doing what you have to do, and soon! (The “encounter” is going to happen; how much time you have to dread it is under your control.)
As a parent, I would be very upset if my child wasn’t honest with me – maybe even more upset about that than the thing he had done wrong --, so that’s another reason it’s important to do this sooner rather than later. It’s also a reason that @bjkmom’s advice is sound. I would use her start. I would also tell them in that opening that you have felt fearful about telling them, and that while you know that they are disappointed, you really need their support. It is okay to talk about you’re feeling about this.
You need to own what went wrong. So what did go wrong? Did you not study enough? Did you not want to ask for help? Were your skills weak in an area? You need to know this so that you have a plan for a better year next year. If you can think of ways for your parents to help that would give them confidence – allowing you to study at the dining room table so that you aren’t distracted and they can see that you’re studying, leaving your phone in the 'electronics" basket after dinner, getting you a tutor, quizzing you on flashcards you’ve made, taking a class this summer, blocking out time to do summer reading and prepare for next year – give them that chance. See to what extent their actions can be constructive rather than solely a punishment. IT may help if you are losing some freedom to be losing in a way that helps you and makes your parents feel like there’s light at the end of this tunnel.
You’re 16. It may be hard for you to realize that part of the reason parents get upset about this kind of thing is that it makes them feel like they’ve failed a bit at parenting. They’ll be mad that they didn’t involve themselves more in your success. They want the best for you. This isn’t the end of the world. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means that you need to make a change. You’re going to have to dedicate yourself to the turnaround, but if you do that, you’ll have learned that you have it in you to realize when you’ve made a mistake and the self-discipline to fix it. Step one is acknowledging that you went wrong…
Just checking in… have you had the conversation yet? How did it go?