So I’m a freshman in college and I feel lost. So it’s the end of the quarter, one more week of lecture and final week. I still have no friends. I never really had a best friend, I had some friends in high school, but no close ones. So now I’m in college with no friends. The only people I talk to are a few friends I had from high school but they go to different college. I find college so hard to make friend because people don’t really talk in class even if they go early. I tried to join a club, but I suck at social situations. Like if I’m in a group, I just get left out, so club isn’t for me. I have roommates and they’re cool and we have nothing against each other, but we mostly just do our own things and I feel it’s best to leave it that way. In a way I just accept the fact that I can’t make friends and maybe that’s who I am. If I can make friends I’d have some by now, but I don’t. I just need advice on how to make friends for a very shy person or how to get by college happy without friends.
Other issues I have is I want to practice driving but my parents won’t let me and I don’t have anyone that will let me use their car. I was depressed throughout high school and in college for a few weeks, but I’m currently not. I’m just lost right now.
Can you find a club or activity that has “doing” at the center of it? Like volunteering. Or getting a part time job is a good way to meet people. Or getting involved with something like theater or the school paper.
You might Google making friends and look for tips. If you don’t change how you interact with people, your social life probably won’t change much, either. You aren’t destined to suck at social settings – but you may need to learn more skills and practice more than some other people do. One of my kids is on the spectrum, and she used to watch YouTube videos of different social situations to learn how people acted. She’s okay socially now, but it wasn’t a natural thing for a long time.
Maybe you could work on driving next summer when you don’t have classes.
I suggest you volunteer. Your college probably has a list of volunteer opportunities. Ask which ones have friendly and helpful students.Try the campus ministry, even if you aren’t religious. They tend to be very welcoming and non-judgmental. A campus job is a great idea, because you are sure to meet other students on campus.
I get the sense you have given up a bit. One attempt at a club doesn’t mean you are doomed to never have friends. I think you need to schedule an appointment with the campus counseling center. I suspect there is more going on with you than just not having friends. Campus counseling is free and it will be very helpful to be able to share your feelings with a counselor who has definitely heard from students in a similar situation.
I would be wary of proclaiming yourself cured – sometimes depression (real, clinical depression) comes in cycles. If you were diagnosably depressed, you still need to do things to minimize its effects (therapy, etc) even though you feel good right now.
You said it “suck at social situations” thats the crux of it. Everything feels awkward you are probably quiet a wee bit or alot a bit insecure too. You will figure it one day.
I have 2 daughters 17 and 18 polar opposites one can go into any room, job, or group laugh, make small talk, and ultimately make friends. My wife jokes and says “Oh those poor unsuspecting souls she going to suck the life out them!”
The other daughter (smarter) too self conscious how do I look, Im not wearing color, my hair isnt perfect, what if they are smarter, they didnt smile, I dont think they like me, she always makes friends, but of the typical introvert sort…3-4 really close friends and thats about it.
Best of luck take a risk be a better version of you daily!!