Since middle School, I’ve had problems with making friends because I was bullied .I ended up having social anxiety and it became difficult for me to interact with other people. I had no friends in high school and was depressed the entire time. My health wasn’t great either so I just got homeschooled from ninth through tenth grade. I’m now in my first year of college and things aren’t looking so great in the social department. It’s extremely difficult for me to make friends. I have a few people who I talk to in class but they already have friends of their own and it doesn’t look like there’s space for me to fit into their groups. I go to City Tech and the only other friends that I have are going to colleges in the city.I really want to transfer school in the future but I don’t want my old school days to repeat with me being lonely and miserable the entire time that I’m at school. Can I get some advice on how to be less awkward and how to start conversations. Also if any of you go to city tech keep in touch.
Tbh im exactly in the same situation and it’s so depressing. Like I literally have no life. I’ve just accepted that I am lonely and am actually happier that way. You do you. Join clubs and get others to follow you on social media. People always want new friends trust me. As long as you are happy, that’s all that matters. Don’t let society pressure you into having a bunch of friends. I mean you already have a couple friends don’t you? It’s your life
Natarlife please look at the mnay posts on the first few pages of the college life forum. There are many kids like you. Please read through the posts, because there are dozens of great suggestions on how to become more involved and make friends. Also, there is a new app, called Sit With Us, whihc is so that you can find a person to,share meals with at college. It is literally brand new. I suggest you get it started at your college, it will give you a purpose. Good luck .
See ideas in this post:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1808143-having-trouble-adjusting-to-college-making-friends-top-10-things-to-do.html
I know how hard this will be for you since you have anxiety. There are two ways that I’m going to suggest.
First, you can meet a counselor or a psychologist at your school. This sounds rrally offensive, but this is what I’m doing. I don’t think I have anxiety, but I had loneliness. It’s similar to depression, but it isn’t. It’s more like fear of being lonely and not being loved. I felt better since the last time I met a counselor at my college. If you have a problem, you can see the right person who can guide you to the right direction. Don’t feel scared to meet them. I was scared before I met them, but I was glad that I actually could get counselling. This can help you increase your self-esteem and may help you to start conversation easily.
Second, you need to be out of your shell and be social. This is a difficult way to push yourself into the world. I’m a shy person, so talking to strangers is very hard for me. However, if I think about those moments when I met my friends, I remember how simple things tied us together. Once, my friend asked me where the bathrooms are. That’s how we started talking. You just have to say something. That’s all I can say. Say anything. Even a compliment is fine. Just say what’s in your head. If people make you feel anxious, pretend they are not humans. Think about them as things you like. For example, I like dogs. Thus, I will pretend I’m talking to dogs. If this is the way you can communicate, use this analogy.
I hope this helps you. Don’t fall yet. You’re a wonderful person. You just haven’t found people who are meant for you. Once you are out of your shell, you will meet so many different people. Just try what you need to do. Don’t do things that won’t make you happy. You deserve to be happy and enjoy your life. I hope to hear that you no longer feel lonely.
I like the above advice, with the exception of saying that it sounds really bad to suggest counseling. There is NO shame in seeking help.
In a similar boat as you to be honest.
Yeah like Qykpoui said, you gotta try and put yourself out there even if it’s hard. I made a lot more friends when I decided to put myself out there and join clubs and talk to random people and stuff. Granted, I don’t have any social anxiety (I kinda turn on my extroversion when I want/need to lol) but I think it’s sooo much easier to make friends in college.
I didn’t understand people who had trouble making friends in high school. Then I got to college. I was so miserable the first semester and a half. In high school, I had a great group of friends and started dating one of them. He suddenly broke it off in the middle of my first semester. I had no friends, no boyfriend, and nothing on the horizon. I almost transferred schools until I met a really sweet girl in my psychology class. I asked her to study with me, and then just kept asking her to hang out. I eventually met some of her friends and now we’re all really close. I know if feels like everyone already has their friends, but this can definitely change. Honestly, everyone would like to have more/better friends. Don’t give up if freshman year is really bad!! I’m so glad I stayed at my school and put myself out there. Take baby steps and don’t expect things to change overnight.
Except I had trouble making friends before high school as well and still do and probably always will.
What draws friends together, at least in the beginning, is common interests-- things to talk about, to get excited about, to do things with.
That means you should be looking at extra curricular clubs and activities, as well as charity work. It will be so much easier to start a conversation with someone if you’re on the same team or working the same event.