So I am a freshman and this is my second semester in college. I am a biology major and I live at my school (about an hour from home). I come home literally every weekend and every Sunday around 2 hours before I have to leave I have a panic attack. I don’t know really what a panic attack is but I started crying and I can’t breathe and it usually goes on for about an hour and then my stomach has his awful empty feeling on the car ride back. I don’t know why I hate it so much. I know I should try to stay a weekend, which I have tried multiple times last semester and I’ve hated it. I’ve also tried to get myself involved but I’m so busy due to so much homework and studying my major requires. I have all of three friends all of which make fun of me constantly. It’s not that I can’t take a joke, but why am I always the one getting laughed at? I barely talk anymore because every time I say something they make fun of me. I also have started stuttering over my words when I talk because I’m so nervous about what people think of me. I’ve tried to make friends but when I talk to new people, they seem uninterested because they already have friends and they don’t need anymore I guess. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Every since I’ve started college I have hated myself and have lost all motivation to do anything. I don’t know who I am anymore. Please help?
Tomorrow, please go to the counseling center at your school and ask to speak to someone. You need more help than we can give you - you shouldn’t be feeling this bad.
You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. Trained volunteers can point you in the right direction to get help.
Hang in there - there IS help available! All three of my kids have needed to ask for help, and they are doing much better now.
Thank you I will definitely do that @MaineLonghorn
Let us know how it goes, OK?
And know that you CAN go home. It doesn’t matter how much time or money or effort you’ve invested into college or into this college… if you’re that unhappy it may not be the right choice. It sounds like you’re happy at home; why not go to a commuter school from home?
@bean24 I am sorry you are feeling so much anxiety but don’t let anyone tell you “you shouldn’t be feeling this bad”. You may be feeling badly for very good reasons. I think the poster meant well and has offered great advice to contact a counselor at your school and if comfortable, talk with your parents/family about seeking out some counseling near your home as well. Worrying about what people think of you can also be normal but when taken to an extreme, it can be a form of social anxiety, for which you may also receive help form a professional counselor. A professional can best determine ways to address the stress that you are feeling.
College can be extremely stressful, both academically and socially. It is NORMAL to feel anxiety in your first year and often throughout. Panic attacks are a strong form of anxiety that may indicate that you could benefit from some help to navigate. Your body, mind, and emotions may be reacting to stress or anticipation of stress. There is so much pressure to do well and to adjust to your new environment, to fit in and make friends, but you can learn some ways to cope with what you are going through.
One of the first steps is to accept your feelings and yourself, and not label yourself as “not normal” for having these feelings. Try not to beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself like you would a puppy that you found that is lost. College is tough for many students in the first year especially. 18 year old peers/friends may laugh at you but I guarantee that they may also have similar feelings from time to time, just don’t express them, or admit to having them, or feel them as strongly. Hang in there.
@Nomorelurker, I know you mean well, but when I read a statement like this, it’s a concern and the poster needs help.
Absolutely agree and the poster no doubt appreciates your advice to seek help. Many who mean well sometimes say that a person, student, or child “should not feel” a certain way or “badly”. A student’s feelings should not be diminished in any way, which I do not believe you were intending. Both can be true, that the student needs help AND that her/his feeling badly is normal given the circumstances.
@Nomorelurker, Nobody is discounting OP’s feelings or saying they aren’t normal. Of course they’re normal. Many kids go through similar things. What posters are saying is that there’s help available.
@bean24, please do see someone on campus. My son has a friend who felt that way as a freshman. He was failing and on the verge of losing his scholarship. He spoke to someone who encouraged him to talk with his parents. He ended up getting a medical withdrawal, which cancelled his grades, and took a gap year to work. He’s back in college at one that’s a better fit and is very happy. There are people on your campus who can help you too.
Please let us know how you’re doing.
@MaineLonghorn @bean24: MaineLonghorn has given you great advice on this thread. Please follow through.
Consider taking a lighter course load.
Know that we are all pulling for you!
I think you are getting into an anxiety loop… you have some anxiety…then your “friends” might be picking up on that…but then you go home on weekends and don’t get to spend good social time with your friends…but then you are anxious to go back, …etc.
Like others say, go to the college counseling center. That is the easiest way to start getting help for your anxiety.
@bean24, hope you were able to meet with a counselor about your concerns mentioned above. Hang in there, Happy Easter and God Bless!
@Nomorelurker thank you for your eloquent posts! as someone going thru a similar situation as OP i appreciate your perspective.
also good luck to OP just remember there are many kids going through the same thing even if it is hard to see
@westbrookdub, thank you for your post. Unfortunately even today there are still stigmas associated with asking to see a counselor or “therapist” when feeling down, anxious or stressed. Asking for help does NOT mean a student is “abnormal” or so different than many other students who try to gut it out on their own without asking for help or admitting that they might benefit from talking with somebody about their stress and situation.