<p>Another fervent vote for Geek mom’s honesty-- I’m sure we’ve all had these moments and they are heartrending. </p>
<p>BUT-- it does not sound to me as if OP’s dad is having an off moment-- it sounds as if he has some troubles that make it very hard for him to be supportive of his son. In fact he seems to want to undermine you–out of jealousy, maybe? Or because that’s the way his father treated him? Who knows, but JDong I really feel for you – you deserve to have had someone who was interested and supportive throughout your childhood, not to mention throughout the college process. You’ve clearly done a great job, gotten into a great school and are off to a wonderful start on life. </p>
<p>Get some counseling whenever you can, to help you deal with your Dad’s unkindness-- so you can find the equilibrium that will keep it from harming you. And have a great time at Rice. (Where did your dad go? Does he agree with this friend that it’s “all about prestige”? Does he himself have such prestige in his background and would he say his life is based on that, or did his own talent and initiative have something to do with it?) Rice is a very prestigious school from what I understand, and also a great one!</p>
<p>Giving your father the benefit of the doubt, maybe he’s just playing devil’s advocate, making sure you’ve thought things through before making a decision. And lots of people – parents and kids included – say the first (dumb) thing that comes to mind without thinking about how it sounds to the person to whom they are speaking.</p>
<p>Point out to your Dad that after you are enrolled, if you change your mind/major (to Pre-Med, tell him), you will be better off at Rice than RPI. That’ll shut him up.</p>
<p>i totally understand your venting. your dad sounds a lot like how my dad was when i was your age. long story short, my father made up for his ‘shortcomings’ when i had my son. i was very young when i had my child, and my father’s love and support was invaluable. he loved his grandson to pieces. </p>
<p>my father died this past february. i’m sad that he won’t be at my son’s high school graduation next month. he would be very proud of my son–as i’m sure your father is of you right now (although it doesn’t feel like it to you). </p>
<p>sometimes dads (and moms) are irritating. sometimes u just have to ignore them. sometimes you just have to love them, and let it go.</p>
<p>Great post from geekmom! Do you know about the reptilian brain? We all have that component. Take a big stick and poke a rattlesnake, and what does it do? It instantly strikes back (better have a long stick!). There’s no thought involved. It instantly strikes upon provocation. </p>
<p>Teens have a very active reptilian brain. Bummer, but there it is. Your dad says something clueless and WHAMMO you are ready to strangulate the old duffer. </p>
<p>Reframe this. Rice is AWESOME. So, here is your opportunity to be a salesperson. Go for a walk with Dear old Dad (side by side so neither person is dominant). Go for that fabulous technique “Death by Sugar” – you are going to smother him in sweetness. </p>
<p>Some useful terms while administering Death by Sugar:</p>
<p>“Wow, that’s an interesting fact.”
"What do you think about . … "
“So what do YOU see as the upsides to my choice?” (must have charming face on)
“Thanks for sharing your viewpoint”
“I’ll think about what you’ve said” (for a microsecond but, hey)</p>
<p>Look at it this way – if you can manage Dear old Dad, you will be ready to handle any management problem that comes your way. He is your golden opportunity to practice. </p>