<p>I have really messed up big time. My DD decided on a college (great $) and then we got a great $ award from a school we had given up on. I had qustions about if she had made the right decision, and asked her if she was still happy. She said she did think about changing her mind, but decided against it. I kept questioning it (to myself), and the next day asked her again if she was still firm about her decision. She asked why and I voiced some questions about the first college (weaker academics but higher on everything else) and she -- BLEW UP! Now she won't talk to me, and is insisting she will go to the other college NO MATTER what I say! I feel that I have completely blown it as a parent, and now it will be a bad decision no matter which way she goes. I have completely rained on her parade. I begged her to let me "take my questions back" and told her that maybe I am overreacting to her leaving, but she won't talk about it. She said "now she knows what I want to hear" and will go with that no matter what. I need serious support and help with this. Can any experienced parent write me privately and help me through this today...she will be home in a bout an hour. I have no one else to discuss this with - literally. Please please help.</p>
<p>I sent you a PM...</p>
<p>I have had this kind of discussion with my D, about various choices...and she has gotten mad...</p>
<p>I would tell her to get over herself...seriouslly... tell her you are sorry you doubted her decission..but after 18 years, of obviouslly making great decisions, because look at the great college she got into...and you are doing your best to let go of that job...but well, money DOES matter, and it raised some questions in your mind...and that fact D applied to both schools, you wanted her to be absoloutely sure of her choice...and in fact, you were shocked and saddened by her reaction to your caring and concern. </p>
<p>Say, yes, I may have pushed a bit, but I don't deserve the silent treatment...but if that is what you want, think about it</p>
<p>I would love to talk about your new school, figure what you need for your dorm, travel arrangements, etc., and I will be ready for that when you are. So, the balls in your court. I am proud of you, but I don't deserve this treatment. So we can start over.</p>
<p>You may have been a bit pushy, but, your D is acting bratty.</p>
<p>Great response, citygirlsmom. I agree!</p>
<p>It's a very emotional and highly stressful time and it comes at the end of a long period of hope, doubt, joy, disappointment, fear and anxiety! It's only normal that kids and parents are at each other's throats a bit right now, but that doesn't mean the OP should cower or grovel to win back D's affection. You are doing your job as a parent by helping your D to think through all consequences of her choice while there is still time to change it. Like CGM said, you've been doing this for 18 years and it's not time to stop just because it's late April of senior year. </p>
<p>If it makes you feel any better, the only big blow up last year between me and my son came after the acceptances came in and when he'd made his decision but before we'd emailed the intent to register. I had the nerve to share some opinions from other adults (on this site, actually) about his two choices. He exploded over one of them, totally took me my surprise. I backed off, he made his decision, life went on. He probably has no memory of the argument!</p>
<p>My youngest D got mad at me last night because I had different thoughts about what "cute" "hot" meant, and how SOME guys might equate HOT with easy (in their little brains anyway)</p>
<p>man, she stomped off, with you are so dumb...I let it sit for a few minutes, went to her and said I disagree with you, but you don't call me dumb...if you want to discuss things, then we will disagree, but "I hate you and you are dumb" are cruel, unwarranted, and childish...</p>
<p>I told her I am from a different generation and see things differently, and sometimes those thoughts, i will share, and if you don't agree, say, mom, wow that is an idea, i hadn't thought of that...but to not act like a 5 year old if she wants to be treated like a 15 yo...</p>
<p>so, we ALL deal with teen girls, and if people say they don't, they are fibbing</p>
<p>We just toured Salem...home of the witch trials...it is amazing what teen girls can do and how they can act...I am just happy I didn't live in Mass in the 1600s</p>
<p>it is very common for kids getting ready for college to suddenly become impossible with their parents -- part of the separation process.
don't take it so strongly as a comment on your parenting - but rather just a stage the two of you are going through. stay calm -- there will be more ups and downs between now and sending her off.</p>