I really think I hate my parents

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>Hey guys, I’m currently going to be a senior, and I really needed to stop bottling my emotions up and I was wondering if you guys, as my peers, could sympathize or even possibly relate to my situation.</p>

<p>I came to America when I was 5 with my parents and my brother. My parents moved here against their families’ wishes just so my brother and me could have a better education. Long story short, my brother was accepted to Harvard. During my junior year, my parents just seemed, in my opinion, to get ever so increasingly annoying. My mom would nag, and my dad…just everything he does annoys me. My dream school s Stanford and Brown, but my parents dislike both schools because:</p>

<li>Stanford is in California, we live in New York. She thinks it’s too far</li>
<li>Why Brown? Go to HYP like your brother.</li>
</ol>

<p>Although Brown is my dream school, i would definitely go to stanford if given the chance. However, my parents made it clear that they would sever ties with me if i left for stanford, and i know theyre serious.
why are my parents so ridiculous like this? They think the ivies are the best universities, and any other colleges that theyve never heard of is bad (ex. hamilton, vanderblt, northwestern). Also, theyre suffocating me! They think PENNSYLVANIA IS TO FAR </p>

<p>i dunno what to do. i think my frustration has gottent o the point where i can’t stand them - I wouldn’t mind it if i never saw them or heard their annoying nagging ever again. Is it the stress of the incoming college applications that’s doing this to me, or do you think I’m righteous in disliking myparents?</p>

<p>i duno what to do =/. i really really dont</p>

2

<p>so it sounds like you definitely can't go to stanford, but if brown is your dream school why would you get upset over stanford anyway?
Brown should still fit your parents requirement as an Ivy, so it should be fairly easy to win them over to your side with this.</p>

<p>I can see why you'd be frustrated, but I'm not sure it's really worth hating your parents when you still have a great chance at going to brown.</p>

3

<p>id like to revise it:</p>

<p>i love brown, but stanford is my dream school.</p>

<p>and my parents frown upon non-ivy colleges, dont really like non-HYP ivies from there.</p>

<p>they said without gettinginto HYP, i wont have as much of a good chance in succeeding in life =/</p>

4

<p>i mean, im also frustrated because they dont seem to recognize how hard it worked to get to where i am.</p>

<p>8th grade, my average was a C+
9th grade: wasnt that great, i still slacked off and got a B average</p>

<p>10th grade i began to work hard and pulled off A- average
and by the end of 11th grade, my average for that year was a solid A</p>

<p>i also worked hard at my art, and won many competiions recognized nationally.</p>

<p>i worked my butt off, and they never seem satisfied. they say its for "my own benefits", but part of me is sure that its because they want bragging rights.</p>

<p>in korea, harvard and yale are the top two universities in most koreans' views. Princeton this year is #1 while harvard is #2, but koreans dont care - they see harvard as the best.</p>

<p>thats why my parents want me to apply to HYP, especially to HY</p>

<p>they would ahve nothing to brag about if i went to brown or stanford. they cant understand kids who leave IVY offers to go to other schools like MIT</p>

<p>ugh. im sick of them -_-</p>

5

<p>that isnt true. hopefully you can convince them of that.</p>

<p>if i were you, and i got into stanford, i would go. and then soon i think that your parents would calm down and realize that you are getting a great education and your life is definitely not over.</p>

6

<p>Don't stress about it. </p>

<p>Just say this to yourself</p>

<p>" In the end it will not matter what college I went to, I have my degree and the skills I need to suceed"</p>

<p>You may be saying to yourself that what college you go to ** does ** matter. </p>

<p>No it does not **, At least not to me. I own a small Gold exchange business. I do all the hiring for my business(150 employees). I look at college degrees and the school they went to but to be honest I will hire someone with little or no college education but **experince in the field they are applying for over someone who goes to a big college and has no work experince.</p>

<p>So what does all that mean?</p>

<p>Take a year off after you graduate HS and work a entry level job in what you want to do. After working a year go to college and when you try to get a job after college you will have a ** advantage ** over someone who went to a better school then you. ** So in the end it does not matter what school you go to **</p>

<p>To be honest I would go CC(2 years) -> Finish Degree at 4 year school. Saves you alot of money. </p>

<p>This is just some advice from someone who hires people for 20k-100k jobs.</p>

<p>Good luck it whatever you choose. It's your life, Not your parents.</p>

<p>It is currently 5:00AM here and English is not my first language so please forgive any mistakes I may have made grammer/spelling.</p>

7

<p>Message me. The statement, "I really think I hate my parents" really drives me up the wall. That's no reason to hate your parents. If you want a reason, go use the search engine on this site and search through the posts of a user called Righteous_Vigilante. Oh, and things got worse after her posts. Her parents assaulted her and now CPS is involved in her life, yet at the same time, she recognizes that her life is her own and that she can make her own accomplishments wtihout the false encouragement or disparagement from her family. </p>

<p>Look it up: Righteous_Vigilante.</p>

<p>You'll find some posts, alright. And read the whole thing.</p>

<p>I don't mean to be cruel or anything, but I think you'll be inspired when reading what you search. </p>

<p>Just thought that would help. :)</p>

8

<p>don't hate them. </p>

<p>although i am on your side, i see where they're coming from. they gave up so much to come to america to give you the best education, and you want to go to a school that does not fall under the name "ivy league." research and explain to them the background of the words "ivy league," because its origin is athletic-related, not academic. tell them that the only reason Stanford is not an ivy league is because of its location. if it were on the east coast, it would be just as prestigious of an ivy league as harvard or yale.</p>

<p>be clear to them that stanford has taught created some of the biggest geniuses in the world. BRING THEM DATA! it doesn't matter what you want to major in, but i can assure you that no matter what you want to do when you grow up, the word "stanford" on your resume will have just as much WOW as "harvard" or "yale." in some majors, stanford is way better than any other ivy leagues (and vice versa). </p>

<p>as far as distance goes, i am in the same boat as you. i am a new yorker who want to go to stanford more than anything in the world (i couldn't care less about the ivies), and although my parents went there for grad/phd, they think it is too far for undergrad. i made it clear to them that regardless of where i go to college, i want to live in that region of california when i grow up because i am so in love with it, so it is better that i have some experience with california than just venture out there one day. it also helps if you have a close family friend out there who can look after you and check up on you if needed. </p>

<p>tell them that you will visit home as much as possible (start saving up now for plane tickets to show them that you are serious), and will see them as much as you would if you went to HY except for small things like weekends or very short vacations, and you will keep in touch with them a lot (heck, buy a webcam if it makes em happy).</p>

<p>well, good luck on getting and and convincing your parents to let you go. just remember, BRING THEM DATA!</p>

9

<p>well, i've seen your stats, and unfortunately, you probably won't get accepted into any of the ivies. So even if you parents won't let you go to stanford, there's no point of hating them, because you probably won't get accpeted anyway. I don't mean to seem so rude, but this is the truth.</p>

10

<p>
[quote]
aguynamedpoop

[/quote]

I would hate my parents if they named me Poop, too =)</p>

<p>Seriously, though... you shouldn't HATE your parents. Annoyance is fine, but do you really HATE them?</p>

<p>If they think that HYP are the only good schools, I'd suggest showing your parents Brown's website, so they can see that it is an amazing school themselves. Calm down, and be very logical with them.
Their reasons for disliking (you going to) Stanford are valid, though. As parents, they obviously don't like the idea of you going far away. I faced the same problem. Instead of being confrontational, though, just tell them what you like about the Stanford, why you can't get that experience at HYP, and give them time to think everything over. After my parents had a chance to research the school that we argued about and consider the situation, they became much more open to the idea.</p>

<p>Judging from your thread title, though, you're harboring many angry feelings towards your parents. DON'T lose your temper with them- be logical and always try to remain calm, no matter what they say.</p>

11

<p>Do your parents socialize outside of the Korean community? You might encourage them to ask successful parents where THEY went to school. I went to a very middle of the road state university and I practice law successfuly alongside Ivy grads...I even make more money than some of them. I have clients who are extremely successful in the business world. Some did not even go to college; others had a very dismal record at an average college. (Once you make the first few million, a person can brag about things like that.) Success depends on what you do when you get out of school!!!</p>

12

<p>
[quote]
Do your parents socialize outside of the Korean community

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Korean parents! No wonder! One of my best friends (Harvard alum) teaches a Korean operated SAT school on the side; the class usually has 80% Korean kids and 20% Chinese kids. My friend told me Korean parents are much worse than Chinese parents in terms of how narrowly they define what schools are "worthy" for their kids to go to and they are very stubborn in holding their view (my friend explained to them and they wouldn't listen). I can't remember the examples my friend told me; I do remember how I was thinking, "that's absurd!".</p>

13

<p>Maybe you should just sever ties with them. I'm being completely serious. If they're going to be that unreasonable, what's the point of trying to get along? </p>

<p>Maybe you can tell that I don't have a very strong relationship with my own parents... I have the opposite problem though. My parents don't want me to apply for any school more competitive than the local state college.</p>

14

<p>Poop, if your guardians are seriously considering to severing ties with you, if you apply to a different school, i am speechless.... I feel real sympathy towards you. Damn, i think your parents look at you, more like a Bragging rights trophy than a human being with aspirations and dreams.</p>

15

<p>theyre so unreasonable. not about academics either.</p>

<p>they never consider any plans tht I have and expect me to follow schedules that THEY made according to THEIR preferences and comfort.</p>

16

<p>What exactly do you mean by that?</p>

17

<p>Like, i scheduled to hang out with my friends on thursday. I haven't seen my friends in two months, and this was planned LONG in advance. I told my mom of my scheduled date at least 3 times in the past week, and every single time she said "that's okay."</p>

<p>And like, 10 minutes ago, she pops her annoying head into my room and goes "Oh btw, you have SAT prep class at 10 am on thursday"</p>

<p>and i go "WHAT? But I'm meeting my friends! Why did you schedule it on thursday? i TOLD you several times that I was meeting with my friends then and YOU said it was okay"</p>

<p>and she replies "I didn't know what i was agreeing to"</p>

<p>and I said "Then why did you agree. THREE TIMES?!?! What am i supposed to do NOW?!?"</p>

<p>and she says bluntly "I don't know. solve it yourself." and leaves.</p>

<p>and this is slightly more severe than a normal situation that i face with my parents every week</p>

18

<p>All right: calm down. Don't write when you're emotional -- or, at least, illogical. Think this through with actual depth rather than just jotting down whatever hateful thoughts you lie down during the moment. You don't hate your parents; hell, worse has happened to me and I don't hate my parents. You're just being overemotional and angst-ridden over the whole situation altogether.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Hey guys, I'm currently going to be a senior, and I really needed to stop bottling my emotions up and I was wondering if you guys, as my peers, could sympathize or even possibly relate to my situation.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>16, Chinese, senior -- okay, I think I qualify.</p>

<p>
[quote]
I came to America when I was 5 with my parents and my brother. My parents moved here against their families' wishes just so my brother and me could have a better education.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Ah, I got to Canada when I was 7, after living for 3 years in Japan. Same, same. I don't have an older brother though.</p>

<p>
[quote]
During my junior year, my parents just seemed, in my opinion, to get ever so increasingly annoying. My mom would nag, and my dad...just everything he does annoys me. My dream school s Stanford and Brown, but my parents dislike both schools because:

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I KNOW, RIGHT? Every effin' minute it's "How's that college application going, neh?" "Look what everyone ELSE is doing!" "Why do I have such a worthless kid?" "Can't you make me feel proud when I talk about you in front of my friends." etc. But hey, that's life. This concern is caring. Asking, pushing, yelling, screaming -- it's all they can do to help. Even if a little peace and quiet is what you want -- for them to leave you alone -- it ain't happening. They want to feel useful. They want to show that they are your goddamn parents and that they can help you. That every step of the way, they're with you. As crazy as it is, all they're really afraid of is being left out; of you being so detached from them; of letting go. At least, that's my parents.</p>

<p>
[quote]
1. Stanford is in California, we live in New York. She thinks it's too far
2. Why Brown? Go to HYP like your brother.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Well, yeah, why Brown? Sure, it's your dream school, but do you have any real reasons for wanting to go there? "The Campus is pretty" doesn't count. I tried that with my parents for Cornell -- they still hate it without a reason.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Although Brown is my dream school, i would definitely go to stanford if given the chance. However, my parents made it clear that they would sever ties with me if i left for stanford, and i know theyre serious.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Do you, really? My parents used to tell me they'd sever ties with me if I became an English major. They've since then changed their minds. I don't know if they've actually read something I've written or went on some asian forum and found it acceptable, but they've realized, at least, that it's my future. Look, don't get hung up about this -- wait until you actually get accepted into either, or both of these schools before having a huge fight with your parents.</p>

<p>
[quote]
why are my parents so ridiculous like this? They think the ivies are the best universities, and any other colleges that theyve never heard of is bad (ex. hamilton, vanderblt, northwestern). Also, theyre suffocating me! They think PENNSYLVANIA IS TO FAR

[/quote]
</p>

<p>So what? You know the difference, so what else matters? My parents didn't like Vandy either, until they saw that it had the 2nd highest financial aid funds or something of the sort. You might also have to tell your parents and get them to realize that where you go for undergraduate might not even matter (depending on what career you're intending to pursue).</p>

<p>
[quote]
i dunno what to do. i think my frustration has gottent o the point where i can't stand them - I wouldn't mind it if i never saw them or heard their annoying nagging ever again. Is it the stress of the incoming college applications that's doing this to me, or do you think I'm righteous in disliking myparents?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>All right. This just ****es me off. Stop. Stop whining as if you're the only one to be plagued by anxiety-ridden parents. Stop talking as if you're some hero in a tragic soap-opera. Stop being so goddamn emo. It's not stress of college apps and you're sure as hell not being a righteous hero, destined to lead the anti-parents brigade. You were hotheaded when you posted this and I have a feeling you know it.</p>

<p>Before you write something like this again (as in, start up a new rant, because I'm fine with offering pointers to dealing with the situation, if you elaborate), think: Is this something I'll really be proud of when I look back a month later?</p>

<p>Anyway, I have nothing against you personally. You just so obviously don't mean it that I couldn't resist.</p>

19

<p>Dude, I thought Asians were crazy about Stanford as well?</p>

<p>NM. Do your parents know the acceptance rates for these colleges? Meh, I'd be thrilled to get into just ONE Ivy/Stanford. And I don't mean to be very rude or anything, I am just being frank - I personally don't think you'll cut it at a top Ivy/Stanford unless you have a drastic hook.</p>

<p>Talk. Talking's the way to get anything done. Or could your brother help you? Does he feel for you?</p>

20

<p>I completely and I mean completely understand your situation. My parents forced me to go to Rutgers when I know I could of easily got into a better school. Luckily I'm doing law so I can some how fix it. </p>

<p>I feel as if my parents completely screwed up my life. I mean if I decided to be an Econ major or an Engineer, Rutgers isn't the best place. You don't see the CEO of Goldman Sachs with only an undergrad from Rutgers. </p>

<p>But I did manage to **** my parents off enough that they are like "OH JUST GO AND TRANSFER! Next year do what you want!"</p>

<p>Lets see if that holds up. Hopefully it does. But you do have a choice. Just leave if you want or stay. I wish I could just leave but I can't afford to pay for my college, nor can they, but I need them so I can at least fill out the finaid so pay for my college. </p>

<p>My parents said if I got into Princeton I would have to commute and thats if some way I got it for free or reduced (which they think is impossible). And even if I got into Harvard for free they said forget about it. So I am forced to commute to a school as close as possible and cheap as possible. (At least I'm not forced to go to Kean or Union County College). </p>

<p>I'm sure you talked to your parents a ton of times and you are on the last straw. If you can your only choice is leave if you really don't want to go to HYP. Plus how is like UPenn too far if they making you applying to HYP? I wish my parents gave me that ultimatum of going to my dream school and cutting relations with them.</p>

<p>All in all, if you can just leave. If you can't then you can't. I wish I could but I can't.</p>