I thought I was social but I guess not...

College Life
1

<p>So I just started school at a large major research university in the U.S. I was really excited about going to college but now I'm starting to feel sad. I always thought I was a social person in high school, I would start conversations with random people introduced to me through friends and what not. Now I'm at college and I've noticed I'm actually an in denial introvert. I have only made 1 friend so far, but she's a good friend and we do lots of things together daily. There's only two days of orientation week left and then classes start on Monday. It seems as if everyone has made at least 6 friends. Everyone travels in packs to orientation events, around campus, etc. and I feel like a loser with only one friend. The people on my floor are nice but whenever I go and say hi to people and chill in their rooms I always say a few words and comments here and there in the conversation but just sit there and look at the floor or go on my cell phone and what not. I really don't want to be like this but it's a weird habit I just noticed and I think people may think I'm weird/anti-social/rude and what not. I came from far away so I don't know anyone.</p>

<p>I also want to make male friends. In high school I really only had 1 close male friend and the rest of my friends were girls. I'm majoring in computer science where there will be a lot of boys. I have never had a boyfriend before. I started a conversation with a couple computer science majors (a big accomplishment for me) and was literally shut out of the conversation. I feel like since I was a girl they wanted to have nothing to do with me. I always feel weird talking to guys and I'm very awkward around them. How does one befriend a guy? Like invite them to hangout out? idk. It seems that every girl on campus has at least one guy friend within like 4 days and I have zero!</p>

<p>I'm also not a partier and it seems like everyone parties and goes to frats but I really don't like going and getting drunk every night. But I just feel so uncool because in high school I didn't really like parties either and I wanted to change that in college. </p>

<p>I thought college was the best time of your life and mine has started off horribly. I literally called my mom crying the other day...</p>

<p>TL;DR: I've only made one friend near the end of orientation week and found out I'm anti-social, I'm bad at talking with people on my floor (nervous habits), I have trouble making male friends, I don't party but feel like everyone else does, and I've been at college for 4 days will things will get better once classes start? Or are friends basically set by the end of orientation week.</p>

<p>P.S There's a club fair soon and I'm praying I meet new people at the clubs I hopefully join!</p>

2

<p>Take a breath! It’s great that you’ve made one friend so far. Keep in mind that during orientation week, everyone is desperate to make friends and will be clinging to the first people they see. </p>

<p>Once classes start, try to join some clubs that interest you. You might feel less awkward to start a conversation when you already have a mutual interest. </p>

<p>Just keep trying to reach out, no matter how awkward it is. Be friendly, and I’m sure you’ll make friends soon :)</p>

3

<p>Thanks! It’s just been a bit of an adjustment so I guess being patient will help. Any advice about talking to guys? I always get really awkward when they talk to me or I talk to them.</p>

4

<p>I’m on the same boat :frowning: I have never been super outgoing, but I really thought I would make friends easier in college. I met a few people I liked but they live in different buildings. I met a few girls on my floor but it didn’t go far. I tried to make friends with 2 of them but they decided to go do their own thing. I’m sad too. I cried in my dorm last night. My roommate moves in tomorrow. She’s a returning student though. So I’m sure she has her own friends. We’ve been texting on and off. She seems super nice and determined to be friends but i dont know. Just my luck it won’t work out. My parents are leaving today. I’m upset about that. I just thought this would be different. More fun. I was also super excited about college. But now that I’m pretty much a friendless loser I kinda hate this. Yesterday was my first day of orientation. Today’s the second. I hope today is better. My problem is that I meet people but then I lose them since the orientation team is always splitting us into groups. And when I try to put myself out there I just feel really awkward. I dont know what to do :(</p>

5

<p>I know, that orientation stuff is always super awkward. I would suggest introducing yourself to as many people as possible and smiling, even though that might be the last thing you want to do. Orientation was awkward for me too, and I didn’t meet any of my best friends there. In fact, most of my friends aren’t in contact with those they met at orientation. It’s normal to miss your parents. Even when mine drop me off this year, I’m probably going to miss them a little bit (and I’m a senior!). Just try and stay busy. Soon classes will start and you’ll establish a good routine. </p>

<p>As far as talking to guys goes, just be friendly. I make friends more easily with girls (probably because I went to an all girls high school, ugh), but as stupid as this sounds, remember that guys are people too. Just be yourself and things will flow naturally. Since you just moved in, ask basic questions like where they’re from, what they heard about certain things at school far, etc. Everyone loves to talk about themselves.</p>

6

<p>Don’t stress out. Don’t let people feel that you’re desperate to fit in, or they might take advantage of you. Find a group of people who have a lot in common with you and you will have more things to talk about. As for boys, I have one or two male friends but I would not suggest you invite anywhere or they might think you like them. Don’t be girly around boys if you them to be your friend.</p>

7

<p>Some more advice about making male friends-
In most colleges or high school, boys hang out with boys and girls hangout with girls (excluding couples). Don’t get too nervous when you talk to guys. There are the kind of guys that like being nice, or the kind of guys who girls find very annoying. I guess if you want to make a male friend, act like one of the guys. Not really acting, but I hope you understand what I mean. Maybe theres something that you both like or don’t like and thats something else to talk about. Just try to not be nervous or girly. Hope this helps</p>

8

<p>Don’t worry about it… I haven’t really met anyone either. Personally I’m just as happy staying in my room and hanging out, so I just don’t let it bother me. Once clubs and stuff start up I’m sure I’ll meet more people, but I wouldn’t really worry about it.</p>