<p>If your thinking of transferring out of a school, do you talk about it with the kids you know and risk them losing interest in the friendship because they figure you're leaving or do you wait and keep it to yourself until you decide for sure and let them know at the last possible moment?</p>
<p>Sadly, this happened to me. Kinda sucks, so be wary.</p>
<p>I wouldn't discuss it until I had an acceptance and financial aid offer.</p>
<p>I'd agree with Caillebotte. He doesn't necessarily have to wait until the last moment, but he should at least wait until it is a done deal.</p>
<p>i've told people my situation, and they have lost interest. i generally dont tell people;the only person i openly talk to about it is my roommate. Ironically hes transferring too(Mich state i think).</p>
<p>You are right to be wary. Happens all the time when neighbors put their home up for sale. Schools want students to keep this personal choice personal so as to avoid killing others enthusiasm for the school. Often I ask other parents for comments, praise or criticism of their child's school, and I can assure you that this is always a very sensitive subject once the positives and praises are examined with a more critical eye or purpose in mind. It will cost you friendships if you discuss your plans with others. I do engage in this type of inquirey and discussion every week and it makes me lose sleep if my questions hurt another parents feelings.</p>
<p>Keep it entirely under wraps.</p>
<p>this is a major problem that often goes unsaid on this forum. its absolutely a true statement that once your friends know you're transferring schools, those friendships become severely hindered. theres many explanations for this. friends may think you're transferring because you don't like the social life, which in turn means that you aren't happy with your current status and friendships. also, they can think of you as some sort of traitor since people really develop a sense of school pride as the years go by. lastly, if you're transferring to a much more reputable school, people will infer that you think you're better than everyone at your old school and need more intelligent people. while this isn't true, thats one of the first things to come across their minds.</p>
<p>i myself have first hand experience with this, although it was on a slightly smaller scale since the school i transferred to is 2 miles away. i still talk to most of those kids but i can absolutely tell you that there was a big change in how they perceive me, and i dont have any "best" friends from there anymore.</p>
<p>in addition to that, don't think that because your friends seem to be happy for you in your quest to transfer to a more prestigious school that you'll hold on to those friendships in the near future. people aren't going to be upfront with you and tell you that they hate you since your changing schools. your "stock" keeps diminishing in their eyes until your gone and theres no reason for them to keep in touch.</p>
<p>i told some friends that i was considering transferring. some didn't know how to react, others were really defensive and didn't understand. so, now i have decided to transfer but i keep it mostly to myself. i agree with ajp87's comments above.</p>
<p>yeah one of my friends is transferring and told everybody. basically they don't really hang out with her anymore. not that they're mean to her or purposely ignore her but its natural to lose interest if you know shes leaving. unfortunately I wont hear back from schools until after school is over so it will be weird calling people and telling them over the phone.</p>
<p>I have told a couple people that I might be transferring and so far it hasn't been that big of a deal. I go to an expensive private school right now and it'll just be cheaper if I transfer back to my state school.</p>
<p>My roommate won't even be here next semester because she's doing a coastal studies program. Either way, I think she would want to room with someone she is closer with.</p>
<p>So for me, telling people hasn't hurt anything. I still have friends, I still go out. But I can definitely see how it might cause people to be a little bit more indifferent towards you.</p>
<p>I've found it a bit awkward to talk about with friends. Many don't understand and give ask a blunt "Why?" which is not an easy thing to explain to a student who loves the school. However, talking with my instructors has helped a lot as they are very supportive. One actually told me to look into their own college, and after doing so, I found that I loved it.</p>
<p>I've only mentioned it to the few kids that I talk to often. They were more concerned, than anything. I wouldn't consider them to be very good friends if they didn't understand a legitimate reason for wanting to transfer...</p>
<p>I have, however, told numerous professors and a couple of administrators. As a result, I've gotten on a lot more personal level with some teachers, which in the end helped my grades and set a path for future recommendations.</p>
<p>I think it would be torture if you kept it to yourself the whole time...</p>
<p>A lot of people know I'm transferring, which I suppose would be really bad because I a) go to a really tiny school (800 students, in the middle of nowhere, etc.) and b) those reasons you mentioned. I would be wary but I guess it would depend on your student body. Out of my class of 212 (which is the biggest it's been in years apparently), 20 didn't show up, I already know 20 people who transferred out this past semester, and know a lot more people who are leaving at the end of the semester. Most people I talk to don't see themselves staying here all four years. A LOT of people transfer out of my school (our retention rate is what? 60 something percent? That's not including freshman to sophomore year, either, so. Haha.) There are many people dissatisfied at my particular college. In my core group of friends, one has already transferred, one is thinking of taking a year off, and one is seriously thinking of transferring. And I finished my applications weeks ago so.</p>
<p>I think it depends. If you know everyone around you LOVES your school then it's weird to be like, "Oh yeah, I want to leave because of such and such reason." But if you know that your friends show similar signs of dissatisfaction, it might not be a bad idea. If anything, talking to all these people who are thinking of transferring (and it's a lot haha), it's been really nice to have all this support.</p>
<p>And, personally, when I knew that the friend who's now gone was definitely transferring out at the end of the semester, I didn't change my opinion of her and hang out with less. And no one has hung out with me less because they know I'm thinking of transferring. People are actually wanting to know where I've been, since I've been kind of holing myself up in my room all throughout J-term...</p>
<p>But my school is kind of unique, so :P</p>
<p>I've told a good number of my friends that I am transferring. I don't know how they feel about it, but they do know how I feel about it. The most difficult thing is going to be telling my fraternities (Business and Social). I probably could become president of the business fraternity if I stay here. </p>
<p>I've found a lot of my friends share the same sentiment towards the school....though.</p>
<p>I haven't told anyone here, but I think my friends probably have some idea. I haven't explicitly told anyone, but I haven't made any effort to conceal what I'm doing.</p>
<p>My D is a spring transfer. She found out around Thanksgiving that she was accepted to her current school. She told her close friends that she applied after she had applied (around the end of October) and then began telling everyone else when she went back after Thanksgiving. </p>
<p>The only "negative" reactions she received were people trying to talk her into staying. Of course, it is easier when you only have about 3 weeks to get through.</p>
<p>I feel like my friends understand. However, I hope they understand that the hardest part of leaving, is leaving my friends.</p>
<p>I agree that it depends on your situation. I have talked about transferring openly with many of my friends. I found that talking it out actually helped me to make my decision about whether not to transfer, so I personally think you should NOT bottle it up. Perhaps talking to a counselor/adviser/professor would be a good alternative.</p>