I don’t know anyone that I feel like I can completely be myself around. I have 3 roommates and 2 of them have become best friends. They go to eat dinner at the dining hall together all the time, go to football games together, talk about each others problems, watch Netflix together, etc. I’ve tried to become friends with these 2 girls, but I always feel like the 3rd wheel and just don’t feel like I can be myself around them. My other roommate I feel comfortable around, but she never wants to do anything with me. Whenever I ask her to go get dinner with me or go to a football game she always says she has too much homework to go. We both don’t have much in common either. I can however talk to this roommate about my problems and she talks to me about hers. I don’t feel like we could ever be best friends though since we don’t have much in common and she never wants to do anything with me. To be completely honest, I haven’t had a best friend since middle school (not including my 2 sisters). I don’t know what to do. I really want someone that I can have fun with and talk to. Any advice would be great. Thanks!
Medapop, although it is a common thought that when in college you need to have a great social life, it should not be a person’s greatest concern. It is fantastic to know you do want that type of connection and I am going to give you the most cliche response: Be yourself, people are usually drawn to that. In the mean time, focus on your academics and graduating. Don’t let your anxiousness for a best friend block that focus. I understand what you’re feeling, and when the desire for a close friend came I just kept doing my own thing and the friendships I have now are built up from that.
I just wrote a super long response and then realized that I was talking about how I have 2 good friends but I actually have several more than that #Iamabadfriend
My advice for you is to just talk to as many people as you can (preferably in the same major). If you’re in the same major, it’s easier to maintain a relationship and become better friends. By talking to a lot of people, you have a higher chance of ‘clicking.’ Also, if you ever get invitations to do stuff, do it! I’ve done plenty of things with people I didn’t know very well. I learned a lot about them and also learned if there was any friendly chemistry (usually not since I’m weird :D).
My friends include:
- someone I have taken pretty much every one of my major classes with and done the projects with
- someone I met through my on-campus job, who is in the same major (and classes)
- someone from HS who I never talked to but connected with through a video game we both played
- someone I seriously met through a video game and then met IRL (no jokes man)
- someone I met during an internship (I went through a LOT of ‘friends’ during this internship before I found a real one)
- my best friend from HS, though we don’t hang out much just cuz of time/different majors/no drive to do anything lol
- the boyfriend
Overall, almost all of these peeps came from weird places. ALL the new ones were major-related (except the bf). This is why you have to explore and just talk to people. Talk to them once, say hi if you see them again, talk about anything you can think of that you have in common or even something you think that they might think is interesting. And then just see where things go.
You should really consider expanding your friend circle. Don’t be discouraged with your current incompatibility.
Join some college clubs like sports or anything that you like, participate in events and trust me, you will make more friends than you thought you could.
And who knows? They might have common interests.
Best of Luck
I’m a sophomore in college and I went through the EXACT same situation as you halfway through my freshman year last year, and I’m kinda still going through it. With the part of the post where a couple of your roommates became best friends, that is common in multi-person settings! I went through the same situation last year, and I stopped trying to be around those girls because they seemed to have much more in common with each other in terms of where they came from and what their personalities are like and I had to talk to them first in order for them to talk to me. Don’t put yourself around people that you feel like you are competing for their attention. For the main reason part of this post, I’m in this situation, too, where I know a few nice people, but they don’t want to do the same things that I want to do at times. I’m currently getting professional help on this topic because I personally need to improve this myself, but def join clubs and I guess just keep on trying when it comes to meeting people . I didn’t have an exact therapy meeting yet, so I don’t have any real advice on this yet 
My view is that some people are going to end up liking each other while others don’t. I can tell you that a counselor can give you guided help when it comes to developing close relationships with each other. I wish the very best of luck.
BTW: From your other posts, we have a lot in common! I wish I went to your school!
@Medapop, @cake4dayz gives some great advice. I know you feel left out and lonely right now. Building relationships, however, especially real relationships that last, is a long steady process and is always ebbing, flowing, and changing. In fact, those girls who seem like “best friends” right now, may not be a year from now if they end up in different housing situations and don’t see each other regularly. You will meet the people you can connect with by being open, continuing to try, being places where there are people (coffee shop, gym, library, campus center, etc), chatting before or after classes, and participating in extracurricular activities. The connection(s) are apt to happen at the most unexpected times too. Keep you eye on your studies, be yourself, and let things unfold. Life is not a sprint, but a marathon, you don’t have to get this all in place instantly.