<p>Heh...most of my online time is spent between 5am-8am, when the little darlings are still asleep.</p>
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Mr. Pink - exactly how much time are we talking about here? Are you saying that parents should give up a bit of online time to communicate with their children instead (good idea)? Or are parents somehow failing to "raise" their children when they seek information online about an issue that will have a major emotional impact on said children, and a major financial impact on the rest of the family?
[/QUOTE]
The issue is not whether they are seeking information about colleges, but whether or not they spend 400+ posts, many of which do not help their children in any way. If you wanted information, you'd post a question, get your answer, and maybe a bit more.</p>
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On this board there are many parents whose posts number into the thousands. How many high schoolers do you know who would like to spend that much time with their parents?
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That's the cop-out answer. To stereotype high schoolers into that category where they hate spending time with parents is absurd. Sure, they might not want to 'hang out' with you, but how would you know when you all are glued to the monitor?</p>
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I'm a great believer in giving kids quantities of quality time, when they need it or want it. By the time a kid is looking at colleges, much of the child raising has been done, and the kid usually wants some space to see what independence is about.
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<p>Right, and that is, of course, why your nurturing the independent spirit by being on college confidential and hoping to guide him in his application to colleges.</p>
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What's CC got to do with it? Kids have been sneaking around forever to drink and have sex (some of 'em, anyway) - haven't you ever seen "Rebel Without a Cause," made before this 50-something mom was even born?
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<p>So, because it happens, it must be okay. Now I get it. The problem is that parents don't pay attention to their kids. Some parents have this problem because they have their own lives. Some parents are so wrapped up in the minutae of collegeconfidential that they don't know their kid as well as half of his or her friends.</p>
<p>Btw, to the poster who said I was projecting - my parents proofread my essays and told me any information I didn't know while filling out my applications. I spent hours with them - in person - deciding where I wanted to apply to college. I am 100% satisfied with how it worked for me. What my parents didn't do was spend hours on a forum, socializing with other adults who were equally frightened about the process. They occassionally looked stuff up online. I posted a bit (under a different username, btw) to find out stuff I needed to know. If you think that it's hard to get a 4.0 and binge drink on the weekends, you need to take another look at reality. Personal experience - chain smoker/alcoholic/into hard drugs, 2300+ on SAT, NMSF, top 5% at competitive public, accepted to an ivy league school. They happen. They are the brightest, and their parents have no clue.</p>
<p>One final thought:
The abbreviation of daughter and son to D and S is symptomatic of the entire mentality in the parents forum. Just as HYP trivializes the three separate institutions, D and S transfer the focus away from your own individual children.</p>
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I know for sure that they would probably prefer me going to a school with merit-aid so they don't have to pay anything for my college education rather than me going to the school of my choice with the proper programs for what I intend to study.
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<p>you seem to conclude that schools with merit aid aren't the same ones that will have a proper program for what you intend to studey. have you looked into this? there are many fine schools that offer significant merit aid (there is highlighted post listing schools known for merit aid).</p>
<p>Heh...most of my online time is spent between 5am-8am, when the little darlings are still asleep.</p>
<p>Mombot- by this I take it that they are up by 8am?
When they dont have to be?
I am impressed :)
Even my own H rarely gets up by 8am unless he has to- I * have to* since I am the only one who doesn't ignore the dog when she needs to go out- plus I also like it when the house is quiet- but unless they have to, I don't think either of my kids would get up before 10</p>
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[quote]
One final thought:
The abbreviation of daughter and son to D and S is symptomatic of the entire mentality in the parents forum. Just as HYP trivializes the three separate institutions, D and S transfer the focus away from your own individual children.
[/quote]
Shameful, isn't it? I wouldn't stay another minute if I were you.</p>
<p>I have to agree with Frazz here Mr. Pink. Thank you for setting everyone else straight with your point of view.</p>
<p>Don't let the door hit you on the way out Mr. Pink. </p>
<p>(Really, isn't it a little weird when students apparently have nothing better to do than hang on a parent forum and vent?)</p>
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Personal experience - chain smoker/alcoholic/into hard drugs, 2300+ on SAT, NMSF, top 5% at competitive public, accepted to an ivy league school.
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<p>I guess your parents must be so proud.</p>
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[quote]
Btw, to the poster who said I was projecting - my parents proofread my essays and told me any information I didn't know while filling out my applications. I spent hours with them - in person - deciding where I wanted to apply to college. I am 100% satisfied with how it worked for me.
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</p>
<p>I really must congratulate you for having one of the fastest admissions processes I have seen because it justs seems like yesterday (as a matter of fact it was yesterday) when you wrote the following:</p>
<p>*Hi all </p>
<hr>
<p>I'm looking for a college that has a great name, offers the benefits of a small liberal arts college within the context of a major research university, and focuses on undergraduate education. I also want a capella groups - the more the better. As an added benefit, I'd like for the college experience offered by the school to be completely unique and unlike anything offered at other schools.</p>
<p>I'd like the school to have need-blind admissions and need-based financial aid - except for international students. I want a school that looks for passion when sorting through candidates - although they can also focus on rigor of academic schedule, academic performance, extracurriculars, essays, and testing.</p>
<p>Furthermore, I sincerely hope to find an institution that has accessible professors. I want there to be greek life available to those who want it, but not integral to the campus community. I want amazing school spirit, as well as the opportunity to create both my own major and my own club (AND receive funding from the university!).</p>
<p>Lastly, I'd like for it to be located in an area that provides access to essentials for college students, along with other fun opportunities nearby.*</p>
<p>But after all has been said and done, I think the we parents who have nothing better should do should take the sage advice you gave another poster when you said..</p>
<p>don't feed the troll.</p>
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I guess your parents must be so proud.
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<p>That wasn't me - it was an aquaintance and schoolmate. I should have made that clearer. And read the followup to that thread. k?</p>
<p>I'm also not sure why I'm being classified as a 'troll'. </p>
<p>Urbandictionary says that a troll is "One who purposely and deliberately (that purpose usually being self-amusement) starts an argument in a manner which attacks others on a forum without in any way listening to the arguments proposed by his or her peers. He will spark of such an argument via the use of ad hominem attacks (i.e. 'you're nothing but a fanboy' is a popular phrase) with no substance or relevence to back them up as well as straw man arguments, which he uses to simply avoid addressing the essence of the issue."</p>
<p>I have responded adequately, I believe, to every argument made against me.</p>
<p>Calm down MRPINK. We are talking about a wide gulf between parents who hijack the admissions process from their children and those who are largely uninvolved until decision time when the bill comes due. there is a happy median somewhere in between for most students and parents. The challenge is to find out where it is!</p>
<p>As for parents posting often here, I plead somewhat guilty insofar as our son is now a college junior and the college search and admissions process is well behind us. However I continue to post because I feel I bring a somewhat unique perspective to CC. While he would have been a viable admissions candidate for a number of highly selective colleges, he chose early on to go down a different road, applying to the likes of Case, Oberlin, Rensselaer and several second tier LAC's like Allegheny.</p>
<p>I think our experience is quite valuable to students and parents who consider attending a college outside the USNews top 10 or 25 a failure and embarrassment for their family. Of course is unanimaty among almost all academics that college ranking systems are a futile exercise and most students looking for a quality educational experience have many colleges to choose from if they carefully research potential colleges by thinking outside the box.</p>
<p>While many parents on CC do not share my perspective, I will continue to post here in the hope that some students and parents will better understand the wonderful higher education system available to students in this country. By doing so the college admissions process can become much less stressful for families while avoiding problems such as over extended student debt, overhyped value of college reputation in post graduate life, etc.</p>
<p>originaloog, I think that posters like you do indeed contribute a lot to the culture of collegeconfidential; your experiences probably do help out students who hope to ease their college search and application process. I agree that there is a happy medium between complete uninvolvement and hijacking the process like a "helicopter parent". However, I think involvement on CC while one's child is going through the process falls more towards the helicopter side. All the schools you mentioned are excellent (and underrated) institutions, but college confidential does not promote your point of view. Instead, it is a board dedicated to the perpetuation of the myth that The Big Name is Better.</p>
<p>To all the parents who have gotten riled up by the opinions of a teenager, I ask you to take a chill pill.</p>
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it is a board dedicated to the perpetuation of the myth that The Big Name is Better.
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<p>actually this view is much more predominat on the student forums than here than on the parents' forum. the parents forum is usually where people are reminded to be realistic and look for safeties and where lesser known schools are often recommended.</p>
<p>i don't know what your problem is mr. p -- but for you to attack parents on a parents forum really says alot more about your poor judgement than anything about the parents you are trying to criticize. </p>
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However, I think involvement on CC while one's child is going through the process falls more towards the helicopter side.
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<p>why? because only teens are allowed to use on-line forums to obtain information (and support)? parents are supposed to just sit back, keep themselves ignorant and pay the bills? i'm sorry but it is pretty presumptuous of you to jump to any conclusions regarding any parent's relationship with their child based on the fact that they post here. you criticize parents for being here instead of in the real world -- what does it say for your perceptions that YOU are defining reality based on this on-line world?</p>
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If you wanted information, you'd post a question, get your answer, and maybe a bit more.
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so we are allowed to post questions -- but who is supposed to answer if not other parents here on the parents forum? should we be relying on the wisdom of students? the parents forum exists for a reason - why not just accept that and behave like a respectful guest when you are here?</p>
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i don't know what your problem is mr. p -- but for you to attack parents on a parents forum really says alot more about your poor judgement than anything about the parents you are trying to criticize.
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Wow, what a great unsubstantiated claim. You could try to explain how "poor judgment" is demonstrated in my post, but you chose not to.</p>
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why? because only teens are allowed to use on-line forums to obtain information (and support)? parents are supposed to just sit back, keep themselves ignorant and pay the bills?
[/QUOTE]
No, I already outlined what supportive parents could do; if you'd read my posts more carefully, you'd understand this.</p>
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i'm sorry but it is pretty presumptuous of you to jump to any conclusions regarding any parent's relationship with their child based on the fact that they post here.
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I'm not being presumptuous. I didn't claim to know exactly what anyone's relationship was with their children. But, of course, your argument seems to be along the lines of "you can't make inferences!", which is patently ridiculous.</p>
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you criticize parents for being here instead of in the real world -- what does it say for your perceptions that YOU are defining reality based on this on-line world?
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This argument isn't even logically coherent. Simply because parents should be in the real world rather than on this forum does not imply that one can glean nothing from their presence on this forum.</p>
<p>Originaloog: I'm sure glad you're still on here as you've been a big help to me and son #2! :)</p>
<p>Parents who stick around after their kids are done with the process are so importatn. They can provide the best perspective and subsequent information about specific schools.</p>
<p>I wonder how many different names Mr Pink has posted under...Anybody else notice that?</p>
<p>And did anyone else notice that ALL of Mr. Pink's 40+ posts have all occurred over the past 2 days?</p>
<p>I'm sure my kids would rather I stay out of their hair than spend more "quality time" with them, especially since one is out of college and the other is in college. So, like originaloog, I'm doing my bit to help students and parents who are unfamiliar with the process, whose GCs have too large a caseload and are hopelessly outdated in their knowledge or whose friends are all too happy to predict their chances of admission based on very little actual knowledge of what it takes.</p>
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And did anyone else notice that ALL of Mr. Pink's 40+ posts have all occurred over the past 2 days?
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</p>
<p>And this means... nothing!</p>
<p>For marite and others whose children have already flown the coop, my post was not directed to you, since clearly, you have already gone through the process and raised your kids.</p>
<p>Goodness Pink, you are quick to judge. I've been on this forum off and on since my daughter was a junior in HS, and she's now a senior in college. You can't tell how active someone is on this board from their number of posts. I pop on here when I have some free time to talk to other parents. Right now my older kids are at work and my youngest is at boy scout camp. As another poster pointed out, most of us don't come to this board until our kids are 16 or so, a little late to be starting the moral value lessons. But thanks for taking the time to post with some parenting advice and giving us all a chuckle.</p>
<p>The Big Name is indeed better.</p>
<p>Mr. Pink - "actually this view is much more predominat on the student forums than here than on the parents' forum. the parents forum is usually where people are reminded to be realistic and look for safeties and where lesser known schools are often recommended."</p>
<p>Realistic is not good for young people. We need more ambition in this world nowadays. I personally feel that often times parents will suggest "safeties" or lesser known schools in hope for a lower cost. My parents are more than willing to pay if I am capable of entering a high caliber university, but on occasion they have hinted at the possibility of a low school like UC Irvine if it offers a "scholarship". I think ultimately the 100k-200k cost will pay off. UC Irvine has an aura of failure around it (at least among Chinese parents). Better to be able to keep your head up and say "I come from Harvard" than gripe about 200k.</p>
<p>There's a difference between ambition and delusion. Most people don't get into Harvard, you know. Where do you suggest they go if they don't have back-ups?</p>