I’ve seen that too 
Well said!
I used to work in student services at a medium-sized private university. I’m also a millennial, and I’m going to admit that my reaction to this was colored by the current trend of people attempting to point out that millennials and Gen Z are more coddled and spoiled than earlier generations (without the concomitant realization that this world is very different from the world they went to college in).
If you were raised in a family where you grew up expecting to go to college, and were excited and enthused about that prospect, and heard stories from older relatives about what college was like, and/or had prior experience traveling outside of your home state and hometown as a youngster…then yes, just getting dropped off by the parents and striking out on your own may sound more exciting and adventurous and awesome.
If you didn’t grow up with all of those things, college may seem like a terrifying unknown, and maybe you want the support of your parents. And a child leaving a home may be a big deal to some people! Maybe that child is the first person in the family to go to college, and to move away from their hometown. Maybe they’re a family who celebrates everything together, because that’s just part of their culture.
These people are literal teenagers. It’s not like people experience some kind of magic that gives them the cognitive and emotional powers of an adult the minute they turn 18 (if they even are 18 when they start college). Some need a little extra help or support to get started and their parents are not willing to throw them to the wolves - and that’s OK.
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I get they are teenagers. And that some need more help or different help than others.
But I think parents need to help, teach, guide, listen, advise…not always “do”.
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I’m rethinking one my comments above after imagining the situation of dropping my son off at college a long distance away. While I have no intention of helping him decorate his room, I can imagine seeing it with him, thinking of a few things I hadn’t considered and saying “Hey, let’s hit Target [or wherever] before we go back and pick up some things we missed.” Once his parents are gone, he’ll be without transportation and without much experience coming up with furnishings. I don’t think that’s helicopter parenting. It’s just being helpful.
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Some schools have transportation to local box stores during orientation so students can pick up things they forgot or didn’t think of. My D’s school had something worked out with a store for after hours student shopping. They incorporated the shopping run into an event where local merchants gave away free stuff so kids could get to know what stores were in the area.
There is also Amazon 
This all makes total sense. Of course parents who are driving their kids to college would help with a Target run (since they have the car) if necessary, before leaving, maybe taking the roommate or another kid from the floor, too. It’s the flying the entire family out with the kid as if they were going to attend graduation, or driving a caravan of the entire family, possibly even in two cars, again as if it were a graduation, rather than dropping off a freshman, that seems absurd to me. And as I said, the college’s soliciting a letter of introduction from the parents in order for the advisor to begin the process of getting to know the student seemed REALLY over the top.
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We drove both D’s to their schools and the drop-off day always included a big-box run.
D1’s school was the best in terms of freshman drop-off. They had move-in time followed by parents/kids session and then they took the kids to one place and the parents to another. When those sessions finished they brought everyone back together for a goodbye on the lawn while the kids had lemonade and cookies with their new dorm-mates.
The letter being over the top is an issue you take with the college rather than the parents, I’m assuming?
As for the driving, we are driving the whole family out because that is what we want to do. That’s a good enough reason, really. My daughter would want her sister there over everyone else… I’m utilitarian- the driver… and my husband would be hurt if he was the only one left at home unwanted. So there we are, all of us driving and my husband flying back because he has to get back to base sooner than I could drive him back.
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If a family wants the entire village that it took to raise that child to come along to deliver them to college, because it’s what they want to do, that is of course their prerogative. But does it make sense, when the student’s focus is (or certainly should be) on starting college, rather than a last hurrah with family? And especially when families discussing making this into a family event, are also talking about the financial stress of a several day road trip with hotels and even plane tickets, to have the whole family take the kid to college? I just don’t understand it.
The college’s inviting the letters of introduction seems odd to me - but the parents’ welcoming the opportunity is what I truly see as infantilizing. As I’ve said, I did this for the first child for nursery school, and for all the kids for the first time they went to a summer camp. But they were children then. This is for a young adult leaving for college, and it seems totally inappropriate.
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See, this situation you describe is my family. Still not your business, and that’s the heart of it, really. Yes, it’s a financial burden on us… but that’s our problem and we haven’t asked anyone else to help out. Or would it be more ok if we had more money? Is the morality judgement here rooted in thinking poor people should stay home? As for the student’s focus, I disagree. Once the move in has happened, the focus naturally switches to school for the student- but the journey can be (and imo should be) fun, and also a family affair if that’s the kind of family it is. My goodness you’re judgmental.
As for the letters, I think they’re weird too. But if I was asked for one I would feel awkward not doing it- I think your misplaced with the problem here. I can’t even imagine a school asking tbh, but I take you at your word.
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Why do you care so much what others do?
People are different. Period.
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Parent involvement in their college-aged kids’ lives is OTT. I am in a college parents’ FB group, and there are dozens of posts every day along the lines of: Where can my son get his hair cut close to campus? My son worked on a group project and one of the kids phoned it in, so my kid got a bad grade. Who do I complain to? And my favorite: What dating apps would you recommend for my son. I kid you not.
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I don’t judge anyone for this, but I remember when my kids were in grade school, they had Parent’s Night where we were asked to write little notes of encouragement for the kids to read the next day as well as write comments to the teacher. I think that was great in early grades, but honestly I got tired of it, and my wife was never into it at all. I’m just too lazy to be that closely involved, and I don’t think my kids are worse off for it.
As for making it into a big family trip, that sounds OK to me. Is “edu-tourism” a thing? I mean if the college is in an interesting location, there’s no reason not to make it a fun time. I don’t think it’s essential by any means, and I also think it’s important to give the kids space to get acclimated by themselves. If their family is in the area doing other stuff, there’s no harm in it. The new student should be too busy for most of it though.
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I’d recommend he buckle down and study. Life is no candy mountain. (Kidding! But part of me, not really kidding.)
A lot of the complaining on this thread about what some families do seems to be family dynamics related. Some families are closer than others, so choose to make college drop off a family event and are more involved during the college years than others. I think complaining about that when it’s not hurting the student is unreasonable and no one’s business. Claiming that it is hurting the student’s independence without any evidence is also unreasonable. Do what works for your family.
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Well, I’m flying across the continent with my daughter to move her in for junior year in part because I can rent a car to carry stuff from Bed Bath & Beyond and Target and such to her dorm, and and she can’t.
But that said, if you really want kids to be independent once they reach college age, what in the world are you doing creating a carve-out for graduation? Shouldn’t the students be able to handle such rites of passage on their own?
Very seriously, this isn’t an issue of dependence or independence, and certainly not “infantilizing”. It’s an issue of cultural policing—basically, some families draw lines differently than others, and you know what? That’s okay. Everyone here, including me, needs to stop pretending that our own family’s lines are the One True Correct Way to do this. Please?
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And I think most parents do “help, teach, guide, listen, and advise.” Those helicopter parents are really the exception, not the rule
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Is it a small college? Having had kids who attend/attended large public universities with 20,000+ undergrads (which can seem like more of an impersonal environment on many levels), I would actually welcome any attempt by an advisor to get to know my child on a more personal basis. That said, I think the letter of introduction should come from the student, not the parents.
Re: the drop-off. You have to say goodbye somewhere. I just don’t see a big difference if the family says goodbye at home or at the school. I can see if the whole family comes and both roommates get there at the same time, it would be too crowded. That happened with older S, but then only one parent and kid stayed while the others stayed outside in the hall. No big deal. With younger S, older S didn’t go because he was already back at school. We got there before younger S’ roommate and had the place all set up in under an hour.
I personally like to see where my kids are living if at all possible. We don’t visit much, and if we do we generally don’t go into his room. When older S went to St. Andrews for a semester obviously that didn’t happen, but I had him send pics. 
We also didn’t stay. Both times, we planned to take them out to lunch and then leave. However, older S actually moved in a week early to do some orientation backpacking trip. I unpacked his stuff while he tried to pick up his equipment. He came back in to say they were leaving right then - 2 hours earlier than planned. And ran out the door - with everything half strewn about the room. Barely any time for a goodbye. And then no cell phone access for a week, lol. I guess I could see staying if that’s what is customary at that school. I guess you have to know the school? I do confess that I bought those silly welcome packet snack basket things because I didn’t want my kid to feel left out if every other parent did that. 
But a parental letter to the advisor? No way. I cringed when I had to sign stuff that I reviewed my kids’ work in elementary school!