S is very friendly and connected with a very outgoing and social group. His last week was spent -every night - hanging out until very late , he seems to be sleeping very little. This week started classes and serious commitment and I am worried he is not ready to take the full responsibility of the workload on his own, the structure and prodding of his private HS not longer there . How I can help him other than long texts advising and reminding his goals at a very competitive college.?
I think it depends on his upbringing. Were you lazze-faire, authoritative, or authoritarian as a parent? This may affect his decision making. If you sent him to a 20k a year private school and were very involved in his life, he is probably interpreting college as “freedom”. He doesn’t have to worry about his parents constantly dogging him. It’s HIS responsibility to LEARN how to balance work and play. From a perspective of a high schooler (myself), I think just calling him once a week to check in about grades and stuff would be a good start. Try to let baby bird fly freely 
SMH
Those texts sound like a terrible idea. Either he will do it or he won’t on his own. He will just tune you out and start avoiding you if you nag him all the time about his work. Also, likely he will change some habits once classes are going in earnest.
You should email his professors. In the email, tell them that your son spent some time making friends rather than preemptively reading various textbooks, and that you’re concerned about what this means for your son’s future. Make sure to emphasize how awful it is that your son didn’t fall asleep at 9:30 sharp when he didn’t have classes or any real obligations. For good measure, you should also call his RA and ask the same question. They’ll never see you as a helicopter parent and instead be grateful that you are reaching out to them.
I’m baffled by the snarky responses here. When did genuine concern for your kid become a target for “Start up the helicopter!” mocking?
It seems that the mom is concerned that her son spent the first week socializing and staying up late when he didn’t have any classes.
So you reassure her that he hadn’t actually messed up yet and to trust him. Not “Shaking my head!” or “Here are some sarcastic suggestions for other annoying things you could do!”
Also, OP, even if he stumbles in the first couple of weeks (which he hasn’t yet), he has the opportunity to learn time management very quickly and has weeks and weeks to recover and knock it out of the park.
I understand your concern- you don’t want him to fail and screw up this amazing opportunity he has. Well, if you’ve taught him well he will be ok. He may overdo it a bit this first semester and his grades may reflect that.- very common first semester freshman year. But if has good work ethic he will settle into a routine by second semester and be fine. And being at a very competitive college means there will be lots of smart, focused kids able to balance work and play and still get great grades - so peer pressure will also be on his side.
You’ve said your piece to him- now I’d suggest laying off until either he reaches out to you with concern over his grades, or until first term grades come out. If his grades are bad you have every right (assume you are paying his tuition or he’s got scholarships to maintain) to sit him down and discuss reasons why. Otherwise - if they are fine, don’t nag. The partying may well lessen each year.
This is all part of growing up and learning to be independent - for both of you!
Good luck.
Long texts are not likely to be effective.
Isn’t the whole point of being on campus before classes start to be social and make friends? As others have said, the fact that he spent a lot of time at parties before classes started doesn’t spell gloom and doom. And the fact that you seem to be monitoring his sleep schedule from afar–just stop. These are things he needs to figure out on his own.
@Mom10010 My advice is to let him stumble now. Schools are used to dealing with students like your son—capable students who are distracted by the pleasures of college independence. If he screws up now, he’ll learn a valuable lesson and most colleges have measures in place to help students get back on track. It may not be fun to watch him mess up, but it sounds like he needs to do it. (I speak from experience. Forty years ago, my first semester grade-point average in college was 2.3—that number is drilled into my brain. I changed my ways and managed to graduate summa cum laude in three years.)
So he stayed up late during Orientation? Making friends? Sounds very good!
I would just ask how X class is and see what you hear…does he seem engaged with the class?