<p>Is it ok for moms to make the phonecalls to the music admissions office and ask them questions? If so, then are there any threads with specific questions to start with?</p>
<p>Yes. It is ok for moms to make the phone calls. I would thoroughly read the admissions website before calling. That may answer your general questions, then you can ask the admissions people more specific questions.</p>
<p>Given how busy the high school kids are these days, especially the ones who are adding hours a day of practice to the schedule, having mom make the call is better than not calling at all when you need an answer not easily available elsewhere. However, if the student has the time to make that call, it is an opportunity for them to start demonstrating some interest in the school and to become personally acquainted with their admissions rep. While the audition will be the major factor in a school’s decision, sometimes it is the small things that can break a tie.</p>
<p>I tended to communicate with the admissions reps - but never communicated with the professors -that I left entirely up to my son. I did use mostly email as it was easier. I’m still friends with N8Ma who was the admissions rep at the time at Bard Conservatory. And am now in (somewhat) regular contact with the new admissions rep at Bard Conservatory - helping out with phone calls, emails etc - as broadwaydaddy and margun well know! As well as giving input on questions folks ask and ways to make the website more helpful to us parents & prospective students…</p>
<p>Sounds like a bit of hillicopter parenting to me . Why can’t student send an email ?</p>
<p>D3 and I shared an email account set up specifically for admissions (she now uses it as her “professional” account but I’m no longer on it). I became fairly good at ghostwriting emails for her when routine inquiries had to be made. She made all the phone calls herself, though - often with a list of questions prepared with my help.</p>
<p>fauxmaven - no doubt some would call it helicopter parenting, but the music admissions process is much different from regular college admissions, and at least in my child’s case, her busy schedule with performances and practice time meant that “project management support” allowed her to focus on what was important. YMMV. :)</p>
<p>S set up a college admissions account as well. Worked fine. He did most of the emailing but did ask me to send sometimes for him with a question. The time difference of west coast to east coast was an issue so email was way easier. Most of the admission reps these days are young and are very email savvy.</p>
<p>When it came to calling financial aid departments - I took over.</p>
<p>My son had all the interactions with professors. As far as admissions, it was split. When trying to track down missing paperwork, I did have to intervene as it was getting close to the deadline and he wasn’t able to resolve things on his own. When tracking down missing emails (one school emailed their decision but he never received it), he emailed. They resent the decision, but once again it wasn’t received. So I called and had them send it to a different email address. It was quite a bit of work to get a rejection! </p>
<p>Early in the process when he was setting up visits and lessons, we would write the email together. As time went on, he was on his own. I would occassionally check his emails as we had a shared account for this purpose, and I was always happy to see they were professional and courteous. It’s a learning process.</p>
<p>My son generally leaves for school at 7:30 and doesn’t return until after 5 as he does after school sports. Sometimes, we wouldn’t see him until much later. In the event that email doesn’t get the answer, a phone call was needed and I was the one who made it.</p>
<p>I think you do whatever you feel comfortable with. Encourage your musician to do as much as possible on his or her own. Help him or her when needed.</p>
<p>We followed the “all communications by the child” rule, unless it was financial aid (since the colleges expect parents to pay, and all of our financial information is required, I think it would be an unreasonable expectation to ask kids to handle this.) The only exception we made was to solve a problem that no one in admissions had handled before, ie. seventeen years ago the Social Security Administration had mistakenly listed my D as NOT a citizen, which we only became aware of when the FAFSA was filed, so colleges started listing her as “foreign”. Only a very patient adult could solve this one.</p>
<p>My D was lucky. Her prep school allowed her to use the Guidance Center to make calls and e-mails during the school day (When she had a spare moment), when she had a break in between classes, before classes began for the day, etc. Of course, it was a smaller, private, girls school with a terrific counselor who was in charge of the college admissions process, in addition to the other counselors, but it doesn’t hurt to ask! I’ve found most guidance counselors willing to help, and the ones at her school were very interested in the different process that was conservatory admissions since 2 girls in that class went that route.</p>
<p>I made most of the phone calls and email contact during the audition process. There was so much information and so much coordination and most of it happened during the school day. Once the deposit has been paid, the communication has transitioned to my S (and my D who is a freshman this year). At this point the kids need to learn how to communicate with the administration and faculty. If they want to they can talk to me about it prior just to make sure that’s fine, but it’s their baby now.</p>
<p>I tend to fall in to the “kid is responsible for contact” camp as well. I don’t think I made any calls or sent emails for my son. Made one call for my daughter (non-music, but sports). Period. They each filled out the FAFSA themselves - all I did was give it a quick skim over to make sure nothing was missed. </p>
<p>Same thing in HS, to be honest. It was pretty rare for me to contact a teacher or guidance counselor.</p>
<p>I just want to point out that it’s not any kind of hard & fast rule. Obviously, the more your child is able to make contact & ask questions, the more mature & independent he/she will seem, and that’s very impressive & all to the good. But not every student is the same! My S has improved so enormously over his senior year - at double checking things, writing to faculty, asking questions, etc. But when he ran into a block (he just didn’t know how to start a conversation with a school that wasn’t reaching out as much as the other school), I had to pay attention & just take care of it by butting in with an email. I took a lot of care with it, asking a simple question, but alluding to the situation. My excuse was that he is never home - and it was true - but he would have never done it even if he were home all day every day for a thousand years. And it all turned out very much for the best. In the end I acted as his secretary to set up a phone call that was really helpful (and between them there was about a half hour available that whole week.) No one expects a 17-year-old to be an adult :)</p>
<p>I had a hard time filling out the FAFSA - I’m not sure how my son could have done it:-)</p>
<p>Momophony - I heartily agree. This is a very kid dependent question. Not every high school senior has all the necessary skills to manage this process. It’s OK to help where needed, with an eye towards helping kids to grow into their independence.</p>
<p>We all want to help our kids gain their independence. I look at it this way, am I willing to pay the consequence of my son or daughter not handling the situation properly? (For example, if I let them handle the scholarship stuff completely, and I willing to be okay with them messing up?) If the answer is “yes” then I let them run with it. If the answer is “no” then I get more involved.</p>
<p>One thing to remember is that once your child is 18 the school or college they attend has no obligation to contact you and ALL information will be sent to the child. Because of privacy laws the college will be limited about what they can share with you unless your child agrees to sign a document giving you access to information. Part of being ready to attend college is learning to talk to adults and navigate the system. If you have a child with any sort of special needs this part can be very unsettling. Some schools like Oberlin sent communications to both our son and to us, which was nice and comforting to me. But most did not. </p>
<p>The music audition process did result in us being more involved than we were for our other children’s college applications because our son needed help arranging transportation and accommodations for his auditions. At the same time we never went into the college with our son for his auditions. But my son did talk about parents who did. We made it a point of keeping our distance and letting our son handle the process on his own. Some places like NYU held a separate panel for parent’s while the kids were auditioning. We didn’t go. But that was mostly because we were selfish and figured it would be a lot more fun to go get some lunch at one of our favorite restaurants instead.</p>
<p>I agree that the financial aide stuff is too daunting for a child to deal with on their own. I also think it is reasonable for parents to call the admissions office and ask questions about the product they are paying for. I certainly called admissions offices to find out subtle things about how student life and what my tuition dollars would buy me. For example I wanted clarification from MSM and NEC about the ability of students to take liberal arts classes elsewhere. In most cases a call to an admissions office will result in you talking to a work-study student and will have absolutely no bearing on your child’s application. </p>
<p>Scheduling auditions can be complicated, especially if you work and your child needs you for transportation. I think it is perfectly reasonable if your child is in school all day to help out with this process.</p>
<p>Financial aid is different from every other aspect of college because, for dependent students, it is tied in with family income, number of other students in the family, and other factors. I never communicate in any way with my daughters’ colleges- except the financial aid offices. Without exception, all of them have been willing to talk to me. I admire kids who file their own FAFSAs but my daughters don’t have the kind of access to our family’s financial records to do that task. This is pretty much the case for most people I know, although I am sure there are exceptions.</p>
<p>I absolutely did not have DD do the FAFSA. There is way too much information about my business and the other investments for her to deal with. We also had to do the other part with all of the 1099’s , etc. No way she could do that. Plus, I did the financial negotiations to get her more money. I also set up many of the appointments because I was home when she wasn’t. She is fine. She managed her 4 years on her own just fine and is gainfully employed in music now. My involvement in her HS senior year did not cripple her for life.</p>
<p>I’m with singersmom on the FAFSA.
Our son COULD have done his FAFSAs…but would have been a huge struggle for him to navigate through OUR income and 1099s, etc and good chance he would have made errors due to inexperience. Why torture him with that?<br>
AND we the parents did not want to end up paying more because of an error made by son.</p>
<p>He did handle all other admission stuff, sometimes discussing it with us beforehand.
Thrived in undergrad, continued to masters and is now employed in his field.
YMMV.</p>
<p>Just to follow up on StacJip: very good point, and I’m pretty sure that FERPA begins when a student matriculates, even if he/she is well under 18. I was only commenting before about talking with Admissions folk. Now I’m just hoping that our best advice sticks around, and that he feels he can ask for advice if things go wrong. And looking forward to Skype.</p>