Issue..girls, please help

<p>i have known this guy for about 3 yrs and we've become very good friends. Last year he went abroad for two years but came to visit this summer for two months. well afer talking to him and discussing our friendship, it became apparent that w had strong feelings for each other. we went on a date a few days ago and we ended up kissing..it was really special to both of us. how ever, he has a gf abroad. i brought up the subject and he said that he has been liking me for so long..and that he's sorry for even bringing me into this. He confessed to his gf and apparently, shes kinda heated. i know that he wants a realtionship with me and that even when he goes back for the last one year of being abroad, we can handle a long dis. relatinship. however, at the moment, things seem so awkward between us. He's my friend-no doubt- and i can talk to him about anything and everything, but i dont know what do do or say to him at this point. I just know that I really do love him and after looking for someone who i can have a serious relationship with, he was the answer right in front of me.</p>

<p>so question is..how do i approach the situation. all advice will be GREATLY appreciated. thanks!</p>

<p>please..anyone?</p>

<p>Do you really want to start a reationship with someone who cheats?</p>

<p>no i dont, and that's a good point.
however, he did call me and explain to me how he was sorry and did the same to his gf. he knew that if we ever had a relationship, i would not trust him. so i forgive him</p>

<p>Yea, I know that even though logically, you shouldn't be getting into certain situations, love/like whatever is irrational and you can't help it.</p>

<p>I see two issues here:
a) Does he really want to start something with you? From your post I assume he's still together with his gf? If he's not going to break that off, then I don't see anything you can really do. I don't think you want to be "the other girl," the agent that destroys a relationship. This doesn't mean it'll never happen...especially after he comes back next year.
b) How do you know you can handle a long distance relationship? Having been in one myself, I can tell you that while it's not impossible, it is very difficult, consuming and frustrating. And especially when it's time for you two to foster you relationship, after this little drama, I don't think the distance will help. AND, his ex (if they end things) will be much closer to him than you will be. Are you prepared to deal with all that?</p>

<p>thanks zantedeschia, that was greatly appreciated</p>

<p>love is like fire; it burns brightly at first and dies out towards the end.</p>

<p>I thought that analogy was going to be like "love is like fire, it burns you but you need it"</p>

<p>why does it say 0 posts under your user name Nlm?</p>

<p>posts dont count in the college confidential cafe's</p>

<p>Never go out with a guy who would cheat, because eventually, it'll happen to you. You may want a special boyfriend now, but its not worth it at all. Stay friends, its for the best.</p>

<p>That means cheaters are doomed forever, guys and girls...
unless they go out with each other, I guess...lol but what a cheating mess that would be!</p>

<p>yeah lol, i guess they are. the cheaters conundrum... obviously there will always be people desperate enough to pick anyone back up after they fall from grace, but hopefully most of us will have enough pride to be selective. ;)</p>

<p>he cheated. and with long distance, it's going to be WAY easier for him to cheat on you.</p>

<p>once a cheater, always a cheater. And as my mum says: once a hitter, always a hitter. She says that when I get a husband, and if he hits me, and even if he says sorry a gizillion times, I should file for a divorce.. lol random but yeah..</p>

<p>You girls are all sooooo mean!!! Everybody makes mistakes, especially guys hehe. I would be lonel and act slightly irrationally also if I moved to a foreign country too and didn't know anyone.</p>

<p>Listen Nim '06, you guys have been friends for a long time right??? If so, then you must know him pretty well, so you make the decision. Chances are that you know about his past relationships because you were his friend for so long. If he's done this before and he's not a trustworthy bf, then tell him that you just want to be friends by all means.</p>

<p>But do you know what I think??? I think that after spending so much time away from you in a foreign country, he realized how much he cared about you. When he lived by you and you were friends, he probably just dismissed any special feelings he had as just "concern for a friend". I know al lot of guys and girls that were once friends but are now happily married!!! I strongly believe that love develops after friendship. How can you love someone you don't even know right??? Besides, you probably became friends with him in the first place because you thought he was funny, kind, interesting, or that you guys shared similar interests. Those are normally some pretty important qualities that people look for when assessing a potential spouse or significant other, which explains why friendship can be sidestepped by romance.</p>

<p>Wow, I'm a guy and I just said all that!!! I really need to stop watching chick flicks hehe. ;) Saw 2 here I come!!!</p>