<p>I'm a sophomore in college and have been dating this guy for about a year. We're perfect together and he treats me so well that our relationship is essentially perfect. Except for the fact that he is best friend's with ex-girlfriend. </p>
<p>I thought that as our relationship progressed that I would be more comfortable with it, but I'm not. They still have such a strong emotional connection that they text all the time and depend on each other. Whenever I see her name pop up on his phone, I immediately become nauseous and have to fight back and anxiety attack (I'm currently dealing with anxiety issues). I feel like my boyfriend cares more about his emotional relationship with his ex girlfriend than me because on numerous occasions he has had family problems etc. and has gone to her for advice right away and waited until months later to tell me. Also, they're still partially in the same group of friends so she'll drink at his house and then spend the night and she is invited to all of his family parties. </p>
<p>I just don't know what to do because I do truly love him and he knows I am uncomfortable with their friendship. Advice on what to do or say would be greatly appreciated.</p>
<p>As a mom, I would advise my daughter that if he truly “treats you so well” he would be putting your relationship above that of the ex. It sounds like he hasn’t moved on, and he really has the best of both worlds. </p>
<p>Then my daughter would probably ignore my advice. But from my past experience I will tell you that you will probably keep banging your head against this until you have had enough. </p>
<p>If you feel like if she called, he would drop you like a hot potato and go running, that should be your answer that it isn’t what a relationship should be.</p>
<p>One question though - how much time have you spent with her? If you (get to?) know her well, maybe you might see how their relationship is with better clarity. If she seems like someone whos not all that honest, then you have reason to be concerned, but there are some people who have a connection and are great friends and to them, gender has nothing to do with it. They broke up for a reason. </p>
<p>Do you know the reason they broke up? Who initiated the break-up? Are either of them hoping to get back together? </p>
<p>You are in dangerous territory- you have given this boy your heart, but his is still occupied with this girl. Even though he defines it as a friendship, by your description, it seems as though her needs come before yours. </p>
<p>One of the basic needs of a solid relationship is for both parties to feel and know they are the first priority. You deserve the respect that comes from being his number one concern. If he cannot give that to you, you should seriously consider trying to find the guy that will adore you exclusively. Best of luck.</p>
<p>@HiItsJenny I’ve never met her because we attend two different colleges and live and hour apart and to be honest if I did meet her, I don’t know if I could physically talk to her. </p>
<p>@fauve They broke up a few weeks into college because she did not want to be in a long distance relationship (she broke up with him over the phone). Currently, she has a boyfriend, but my boyfriend has told me that he finds my boyfriend very intimidating, gahh!</p>
that sucks. </p>