Iv been sneaking into my boyfriends dorm for 3 months

Student Lounge College Life
1

So i have been dating my boyfriend for over a year. Well this year he got a 4 bedroom apartment on campus, and his 3 other roommates are very introverted; we barely see them. Well all semester i have been sleeping in his room every single night. The front desk is very chill and never has a problem. Sometimes i even have his keys and go back to his room by myself. We’ll im starting to get a little nervous. Iv been thinking about what iv actually been doing. I do pay fro a room on campus, and i have a roommate that i NEVER talk to because im always in my boyfriends room. Idk what to do. It would be really hard to just stop living with my boyfriend since living together has been a breeze for us, and it would be hard to just show back up to my own room after not being around my roommate for a whole semester. She has basically had the room to herself. And we cant get a place off campus next year because he cant pay for it; his parents arnt in the picture. I NEED HELP.

2

Help with what?

3

I’m not sure what you need help with either. If you want to stop living with your boyfriend, give your roommate the courtesy of a heads up and move back to the room in the dorm. Beyond that, I have no idea of what sort of help you want.

4

These is another thread on here about a introverted roommate who is sick of the extra person/people in her apartment. Be prepared in case one of those quiet roommates goes to the housing dean about your continued presence in their apartment. Would you be embarrassed? Any uncomfortable fall-out? I would definitely not have keys to a room that is not mine – what if something comes up missing?

Mostly, I wonder if you have made time to build other connections beside your boyfriend. Do you do clubs and activities that do not include him? Connecting with your roommate would be worthwhile.

5

Can’t you just spend fewer nights per week with him? If you roommate is surprised to see you, just tell her you’ve decided to spend more time with friends, and would she like to hang out or grab some dinner?

6

Not sure this sudden late realization is real. Either spend more time in your own room or not. It’s only been a month of college. Not a year. Your roommate doesn’t own that space alone.

But living together too soon, having no space of your own, no life of your own, is often more exciting in the beginning than over time.

7

I remember a very similar situation where one of my house mates (we rented a house in college) had his girlfriend staying at the house practically every day and night. None of the house mates signed a contract where we’d be sharing the house with another person who doesn’t pay rent. Likewise, those introverted roommates of your boyfriend may be too introverted and nice to do anything about your nightly visit, but I doubt that they’re happy about it.

8

OK so you’ve reflected it on it and it sounds like you’re not totally happy with the current situation. Have a talk with roommate and boyfriend. Tell the roommate that you know that you have never been around, and that you’ve realized that isn’t the best for you, and that you are going to start being there more, and spending some nights there. It’s polite to give her a heads up. Tell your boyfriend the same…even though it’s been easy and seems to be working out, you’re realizing that this is not exactly what you want, and you want to start spending a few nights in your dorm, and some time there in the daytime to, to get to know your roommate/floormates better. That you still want to continue the relationship but realize that it’s not best for you to live there.

9

My roommate was never around because she stayed with her boyfriend. It was fine with me! I didn’t mind having a large “single” room. :slight_smile:

10

  1. His apartment: If you are mostly in his room and not in any shared areas much, then the roommates may not have a big problem. However you are right, that they may say why are we letting someone be here for free.

  2. Boyfriend: You could tell him that you realize you are staying there every night and that isn’t really fair to his roommates. That you like being with him, but don’t want to cause him problems. You think that you will probably be there 2-3 days a week. Or tell him that you have a project coming up and really have to focus on it and will be at your room.

  3. Roommate: Tell your roommate she will probably be seeing you around more…no issues, but you realize you can’t live in your BF’s room all the time.