<p>It's my first time..haven't told my parents (they pay for it/with fin aid)...haven't even told them about probation because I thought I can get out of it. I did good at first then fell behind and I am academically suspended. Is my future ruined? What are my options? Whats the best thing to be readmitted? What do I do now? Any help would be greatly appreciated</p>
<p>How should I tell my parents? Should I even? I'm still figuring out the specifics of my suspension</p>
<p>You have a certain % of courses you must complete to continue to receive financial aid.
How long were you on probation?
Did you have a plan of action with your advisor to get off probation?
You now are ineligible for federal aid ( were you receiving institutional aid?)
& will need to complete courses before you can be eligible again.
Is there any chance that you can have any of your grades changed by completing work?</p>
<p>You’re going to have to tell your parents. They contribute to your education, which means that they see and pay a bill. They will know that something is up when they don’t receive a bill for the coming semester.</p>
<p>Tell your parents right away. Why dig the hole any deeper?</p>
<p>You’ve already cost your parents money by failing your courses and having to take them over (assuming you’re permitted to). You need to fess up to your parents. You also need to figure out why you failed and wasted their money so you don’t repeat it.</p>
<p>How to tell them? Just do it and be prepared to answer the ‘why?’ questions with something other than ‘I don’t know’. Also be prepared to tell them your action plan to come off of the suspension and do well in the future. You should also tell them you’ll reimburse them for the courses you failed once you’re working and are able to.</p>
<p>Your future is not ruined. I was academically suspended over 20 years ago. It was a difficult time but I worked my way back into academic good standing. A big part of that was being completely honest with myself about why I failed in the first place. It took therapy and time. </p>
<p>Obviously you need to tell you parents as you won’t be going back to school at the end of break. Be prepared for an emotional conversation.</p>
<p>gladgraddad- without knowing the specifics of OP’s situation, your response sounded a little harsh to me. I don’t know anyone who enjoys doing poorly, and clearly this has been going on for more than 1 semester so i suspect Profound is coming to the parents forum not necessarily for advice on how to get back into school but how to manage the situation at hand with his/her parents. I’m sure Profound is pretty aware of the poor grades and wasted money.</p>
<p>Profound, you must be feeling nauseous, scared, worried, and ashamed. Anyone in your situation would feel the same way. I don’t know your parents or your relationship with them, or what was the cause of your issues at school. At the same time, trying to work this out on your own, whilst a valient effort, has not had the result you expected. But it also sounds like you’ll need your parents to help come up with a strategy for working through this. Maybe college isn’t your thing, maybe not now, or maybe there are other things that you need to work through personally. It’s not the end of the world. (although it might feel like it right now- this too shall pass)</p>
<p>Your parents, will most likely be angry, or possibly very worried, or both. You’ll have to just ride that out. I’d say if you were my child, try to be as honest as you can about what’s going on, without excuses. Tell your parents you tried to solve this on your own, but it just didn’t get the right result and you really need their help. I’m not sure exactly what that help might be for you personally. What do you think your parent’s response will likely be?</p>
<p>-I was on ‘academic notice/warning’ for 1 sem and ‘academic probation’ for another semester
-We had a general plan of action…tutoring, counseling, etc
-I don’t know fin aid status…I’ll call tomm
-I know I have to tell my parents but the question is how…I’ve been hiding it from them for over a year, lied to them about many grades, wasted their money
<p>I just think college isnt for me right now…</p>
<p>Are you home now or still at school? Either way, it is best to tell your parents before the dreaded letter arrives. Us parents don’t like this news at all, but getting it in a letter is the worst.</p>
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<p>My grades in my first year in college weren’t so hot and there was an F in there too. I got a job after my first year and worked for a while and got my degrees later on when I was better able to be a student.</p>
<p>Not telling your parents earlier reduced their options in what they could do for your or help you with and that will probably be frustrating to them (part of the anger aspect). It seems like it is late to come up with a plan - the time for that is when you get put on probation and sometimes parents can help fix that problem. We have parents coming here looking for suggestions when their kids get put on probation. I predict that we’ll have a group of parents discussing it in a few weeks from now. It’s not the end of the world but you and your parents need to figure out where to go from here. Getting a job (if you can find something) wouldn’t be a bad start while you are reassessing whether you want to go back to college.</p>
<p>thank you everyone for the valuable advice…I understand…We’re Indian so an hourly job before college won’t cut it with them (culture)…the problem is telling them…i need to tell them tonight or tomm because I think the letter will come in soon</p>
<p>Also, I think I have add/adhd or something like that…I’m not sure what its called but I can never focus or concentrate for a long period of time…can that help me appeal it?</p>
<p>My parents would be angry and this would confirm their view of me…that I don’t care about education but I learned that education is important after my probation…</p>
<p>I work with many Indian parents and have had extensive discussions on college matters and regarding their kids. In general, we agree that having jobs in high-school, college and during the summer usually isn’t a bad thing. Parents may have a vision for their kids (believe me, this doesn’t just apply to Indian parents), but sometimes we’re forced into reality as to what our kids can and can’t do.</p>
<p>If they absolutely want you to complete college, then you have to decide what you want to do and what the relationship consequences are. You will have to reassess with your parents if you want to continue with college.</p>
<p>At this point you may not have a lot of options outside of part-time college courses and community college courses if you want to go to college for the spring semester.</p>
<p>Try to keep in mind that even if they are angry & frustrated and say things you don’t want to hear, most parents just want what is best for you and want to help you do your best. Yours will likely be very upset that this is a surprise and may condemn your hiding it along the way. You apparently had two terms of warning before finally being suspended so whatever you thought you could do differently did not happen.</p>
<p>In my experience, most parents adapt to the sadness or disappointment and are most concerned about how to make things work out in the future. Thus far you have not changed anything on your own so maybe you can let them help you see the big picture and make changes for the future.</p>
<p>I have no personal knowledge of how the Indian culture will affect this conversation.</p>
<p>Profound -</p>
<p>Although you just really screwed up, know that there are limitless opportunities for you to turn things around and still have a very bright future. I promise. Some day you will get back on track academically, and you will make both yourself and your parents proud. You won’t forget the pain you caused yourself or them, but it will make you stronger. No doors are closed to you. You’ve made things more complicated, and comebacks are tough. Still, MANY people before you have become professionals in every field after similar missteps. </p>
<p>Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. Today you may not be able to solve all of this. You may not yet be ready to figure out why you did what you did. It might be too soon for you to figure out why you were so self-destructive. Was it ADHD or just anxiety (one can look almost exactly like the other)? Depression? That can look like ADHD as well. Maybe it was ADHD. Maybe you needed to mess things up in order to set yourself on a better path of figuring out what YOU want out of life. I have no idea, but you’ll figure it out over time. Until then the one thing you CAN do today is start to be HONEST. Trouble hates the light of honesty (it is nurtured by the shadows). So just do that for a while. It’ll take a lot of courage, but you can do it.</p>
<p>it might be hard to tell your parents, but once you do, and once you both get past anger and hurt feelings, you can begin to build another plan for your future. you’ll feel better once this is out in the open.</p>
<p>OP-
Hang on to your hat when you break the bad news.
You will ruin their happy holiday season.
Your parents will go through the typical stages of loss.
Denial- How could this happen to our family? What is wrong with you?
Anger-What did you do to make such poor grades, why didn’t you come to us for help? Expect a lot of yelling, crying, angry+tense meals.
Bargaining-What can you do do to get the your FA back and the school to accept you back? Who do we get in touch with at the college? Unfortunately, you choose to shut your parents and now the campus offices are closed.
Depression- You have ruined your life and tarnished our reputation in the Indian community, how can we show our faces at holiday parties?
Acceptance-You will move home, take courses at the local cc, get a job, volunteer, and petition to get re accepted to your college and reinstate your FA.
So if you can face your parents with the truth you will come through the other side.
You really are going to blind side your parents.</p>
<p>post 8 seems to indicate you had a good plan of action, although it isn’t clear to me when this plan began- first sign of trouble, or the “11th hour”? I also think your parents will want to know of this plan, but will also ask why it didn’t work. Have answers. Had tutoring? How many? How often? How long? Starting when? They will want to know, was this really a “valiant effort” or only a half-hearted attempt without serious follow through? Be prepared to give sound, truthful answers, even if the answer isn’t flattering to you. If parents think you are still being evasive or just have “pie-in-the-sky” dreams, then they likely will not take the “I’ll do better next time” seriously.</p>
<p>As far as having a medical condition, that cuts both ways. Having a genuine medical condition can negatively affect learning, and yes, sometimes special conditions are permitted so a student can keep up with the class. Your problem is that if you introduce the idea now for the first time, it will likely appear to be just one more excuse, rather than a genuine reason.</p>
<p>Lastly, I see no evidence that you have enjoyed doing poorly, and I also see no poster that said you did.</p>