I didn’t hear those specifics from the OP. I think those details could become the form of excellent questions to ask your student and evoke good thinking.
I didn’t have kids with mental health issues I was concerned about, though I have been mildly terrified of schizophrenia since a relative developed it in college with absolutely no warning. My approach to college was to just send all the info I had their way. At one point my dh thought I might be pushing him towards Carnegie Mellon, I wasn’t, but I had more info on their CS for one reason or another. I also didn’t want my son to feel he needed to go to our higher ranked legacy school if CMU was a better fit. My effort was to be the neutral information provider, not the one with opinions.
I will say for both my kids that there was so much growth between October and April, that by the time April rolled around they were making decisions for the right reasons.
Every parent has to have a talk with their departing students, and for those kids with histories of mental health or chemical dependency or physical health or diagnosed academic issues there must be frank discussions of how that’ll play at the new school. Students need to be aware of where to find support, of watching themselves for signs of any recurrence or lapse, of avoiding situations where trouble may lurk, and they have to feel comfortable calling you in the event of trouble. You don’t have to dictate terms or have full answers for everything, but make it clear that with all the stresses accompanying the transition to college that they have one specific one to watch for, and you’re there to help if it becomes necessary. Kids with histories usually know what it took to get through the last time, and you just need to assure them that you’ll be there again if need be. (Prayers to any parent with a child that rejects this idea and fights any suggestion that it could happen again, regardless what “it” was.)
St Paul- I agree with you. However, the 18-22 year period is when many mental health issues emerge (even with no prior history), and even for kids who are NOT in college. (The military, for example, has very high rates of depression and suicide).
So ALL kids need to understand that just as there are certain physical diseases which can manifest themselves in the college population (meningitis, mono, STD’s), there are mental health issues which can emerge even for a kid who has had an easy time of it so far.
I’m back…got overwhelmed by a variety of obligations. I was a bit apprehensive about coming back to check the thread, but I have to say I am so impressed by the thoughtful, considerate responses, especially those recognizing that the right approach may be different for different children (even different children in the same family).
The great suggested comments/questions to use with DD will be helpful. Mental health supports/concerns will certainly something to consider at any school she may attend.
Just FYI, in case anyone is interested: She has already submitted application to the college in question, which has rolling admissions (although it is not complete yet due to teacher recs/transcripts/etc).
I have little doubt she will be accepted there, but also little doubt that she will be accepted to most of the other schools on her list, so she will have a variety of options to choose from.
We are planning on doing more visits/open house/accepted student days after she has some results, so she will have another chance to see the school and form her own opinions. (that will definitely carry more weight than anything I may point out to her)
Based on her change in attitude toward the college process in general in the past few months (after it became “real”), I do have some hope that she will change her opinions on what the ‘best’ college is by the time May rolls around and will consider all aspects of each school to make an informed decision.
When you go to admitted students day, I suggest you actually visit the Counseling Center as then she will have visited it before and it won’t be such a big thing to go there if necessary.