kid is off... my thoughts about the last 2 yrs

<p>Oops! I was wrong, not 4 hours, but still...</p>

<p>cheers, I do not know said andison's story. Link?</p>

<p>And your comment, "If a student doesn't need fin aid, ignoring ED is sheer hubris."... That's a big if. For those of us who do need, it's something-out-of-luck, huh?</p>

<p>


OP. How much time did you invest on the parents board over the last two seasons? I'm trying to get my grip on this and I'm missing.</p>

<p>curmudgeon, I doubt that it was a post of yours led me to believe one thing or another. And it probably wasn't one specific post from anyone in particular... I didn't log off CC at the time and think oh wow joe shmo from CC said it's a lock, and he/she's gotta be right because he/she said so on CC! It was a long time ago and I don't remember the previous moniker. Don't be bugged, dear... it's not you and you needn't feel accountable for others on the board.</p>

<p>What do you mean, "the lists be built from the bottom up "?</p>

<p>And I thank you for your kind thoughts.</p>

<p>curmudgeon, you mean this is an investment?! I guess the answer is not enough or way too much.</p>

<p>OP -- You will better understand the responses to your post and gain a great deal of cc perspective if you go back and trace andison's journey. It was a very ugly dose of perspective for many. It's what I would call "required reading" on cc.</p>

<p>So glad your S found a great fit -- that's the expressed goal for most around these parts.</p>

<p>Oh, OP- I wouldn't pretend to be responsible for others on the board and I hope like heck it wasn't mine :eek: . The main reason I'm sticking around is to get across the exact opposite of what you gleaned from CC.</p>

<p>Building a list from the bottom up means to start with a school or schools where your child can get in and be happy, reach their goals, and you can afford it. Find that school first and the rest is gravy.</p>

<p>Once we found those schools , the stress level at my house went to dang near nill. Everything else was just trading up for greater fit as far as more accomplished classmates, greater research opps, prettier campus, more affordable, etc.</p>

<p>A noble calling, curmudgeon, a noble calling. Now I go search andison to get me some education...</p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=47867%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=47867&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Andison's story. The story of a very smart boy, a very good student who did not have a school at the end of his application process. There are additional threads by andi, detailing their process of recovery.</p>

<p>With respect, I doubt many 2010 CC parents missed this story though it did have a happy ending (he's at MIT now). Could it be that you only heard what you wanted to hear?</p>

<p>I like that bottom-up approach, curmudgeon.</p>

<p>It worked for us and allowed her at the end the freedom to apply to some reaches that she wouldn't have dared to apply to at the beginning. That freedom, I think, led to essays and interviews that were unstressed and open- lively and entertaining and incredibly personal and revealing.</p>

<p>I believe the freedom gained from the bottom up approach made all the difference in the world. Once she realized that if they didn't want her, she didn't want them - she approached everything differently- and to be blunt, so did I.</p>

<p>We probably spent 80% of our search time over 3 years focused on finding those first couple of schools. The top schools are much easier to like. LOL.</p>

<p>cheers, thank you for the link. It's new to me but not surprising. Perhaps it made such big news on CC because people don't usually talk about rejection. And sorry but I cannot read 25 pages of posts right now. I browsed it.</p>

<p>Certain things I know: Schools reject qualified candidates. They have to do so, because more qualified candidates apply for the few spaces that are available. How they draw the line is sometimes arbitrary and perhaps non-sensical and seemingly unfair. I also know that an institution will perhaps admit candidates at a certain time based on the institution's "needs" or "desires" at that time, maybe filling an unmet niche, and these factors may have more influence in the process than the candidate's qualifications. And I know that adcoms are after all individual human beings with subjectivity often influenced by their own "soft factors", like whether or not they had a fight with their wife that morning.</p>

<p>And maybe the kid's essays were not so snazzy, maybe he doesn't interview well, maybe he rubbed somebody the wrong way, who knows... none of us really do, do we? After all, it is not a science, this stuff.</p>

<p>Yes, curmudgeon, so true: "The top schools are much easier to like". And it's so easy to get sucked into the thrill of it, especially when the stats seem to match so well. We don't ever really hear much about the QUALIFIED kids, with stats & ECs who match just like the acceptees, but get rejected nevertheless... simply because there are more (qualified) people applying than there are spaces for!</p>

<p>Thinkingparent, I'm thinking maybe you were a casual visitor, who spent most of your time looking at the "College Admissions" thread or specific topics for the schools you were interested in??</p>

<p>I say that because you couldn't possibly have posted your son's stats in the Parent's forum and been told that "he'd get in anywhere".... I would say that I've been a rather obsessive reader of this section of the board over the past 16 months or so, and I don't remember a single overly-optimistic parent post.... if any parent came close, someone was sure to immediately bring up the andison saga. </p>

<p>In fact, around this neighborhood it is quite the opposite. I read many statements that lead me to be overly pessimistic. I am sure if I had posted my own d's stats I would have been told that she was reaching impossibly high and advised aim lower. I even ran into a few people who had trouble accepting the notion that that the UC system guarantees admission to at least one campus for Calif residents who meet their objective eligibility requirements. </p>

<p>But I admit that I have generally avoided the "College Admissions" thread and would not have looked at any college-specific threads other than those for the colleges my daughter was applying to. So maybe the impression you get reflects opinions of the students and others who are only posting over in the "Ivy League" topics? I wouldn't know because my d. wasn't applying to Ivies. (Well, she did apply to Brown, but I thought all along that she had no chance whatsoever of getting in, so I never really got invested enough to read anything Brown-related). </p>

<p>Anyway, I'm sorry that bad news came as a rude awakening for you. I think the reason that your post engendered an odd reaction is that you are kind of preaching to the choir and chastising us at the same time. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way ... you are just coming in late with a message that is very familiar to those of us who hang around here regularly.</p>

<p>Our experience was that of family and friends who know nothing about the current state of the system, telling us of course our brilliant son will be accepted anywhere, and why didn't he apply to this or that elite school? </p>

<p>The awakening actually came from browsing CC. Then an actual rejection and another acceptance w/no money clinched it. We too are extremely happy at the 3rd choice that became the 1st choice after more research (and when money was thrown in.)</p>

<p>As a side note, part of the original attraction was the city of Boston--so DS got his "Boston" fix by working there this summer while living with the grandparents. Only way he could have afforded it!</p>

<p>Lets put this thread in perspective. Does anyone truly believe that Georgia Tech, one of the nation's finest engineering schools with competencies in other areas, can't act as a springboard for any kind of success in life? Of course it can. And it in fact does, and often!! What matters is what a person does when they get to an institution, be it Georgia Tech or Harvard. And it is not uncommon for the Georgia Techsters and Purduers and Lehighers (just to name a few) to outperform the Ivy League types in the real world - particularly since they do not have the same sense of entitlement as many of the Ivy League types. Work hard, focus - find your passion, and let the name brand college stuff fall to the wayside.</p>

<p>Optimistic and CC parent - in the same sentence??? Doesn't seem likely! If anything the regular posters hammer home the safety message too much. It does take time to sift through those who have been around for a season or two, and the newbies.</p>

<p>Congrats on GaTech, it is a fine school, the val of my D's class - 2009 - was a frosh at Tech last year.</p>

<p>Thinkingparent, could you please enable your PMs so that I can communicate with you concerning an issue with your accounts? Please PM me when you have done so.
Thanks - Mod JEM</p>

<p>These are the things in the OP's first post that I found particularly irksome:</p>

<p>"he's not amazingly flawless or stellar... being non-manipulative and having high integrity hurt him I think</p>

<p>And maybe being a smart white male, with no chance of being a college athlete, hurt him..."</p>

<p>What irked me was the implication that students who got into better schools either lacked integrity, were manipulative or got in because they were URMs or athletes.</p>

<p>Anyone who has kept up with admissions recently or has read the various things posted on CC knows that the top colleges -- places like HPY as well as LACs like Amherst, Williams, etc. --have an overabundance of highly qualified applicants who'd excel at the colleges -- if there was room to accept them, where there is not.</p>

<p>Even people who are legacies with great stats national awards aren't guaranteed admission to top schools of their choice.</p>

<p>So-- the wisest thing to do is to make sure that one's student is applying to a range of schools that includes safeties that the student would love to go to and that the parents would feel good about the student's attending. It's also a very good idea to view applications to schools like Harvard, Amherst, etc. as being reaches: The student should put their best efforts into the applications while also viewing this as buying a lottery ticket -- not feeling that their worth and future will be determined by whether they get in.</p>

<p>While undersandably many parents and students feel disappointed and bitter when rejections come, most people move on rapidly. For a parent to be posting bitterly about rejections as their student gets ready to go off to college, a fine one at that, is par4ticularly sad. This is a time to celebrate, not a time to be bitter about opportunities not given.</p>