<p>Ive come to believe it is the schools themselves. Of course, the schools may be responding to a nervous twitch exhibited by some obsessive parents, but in the end the schools themselves create the conditions that almost demand over-achievement from kids who are academically inclined and desire to take the interesting courses.</p>
<p>It has been pointed out that we are really talking about only the top 5-10% of academically inclined or pressured kids. If a student desires to take the more interesting and academically challenging courses they will be weighed down to the point of walking with a permanent slouch.</p>
<p>I have a hard time believing parents who say that they did not pressure their children, as curmudgeon does. However, I want to and in the end I do believe them, because we find ourselves drifting in the same scholastically ambivalent boat. </p>
<p>Our daughter spent her formative years in Canada. Our family has been very involved in a few social/cultural issues over the years to the point that our home was (literally) a public place with strangers passing in and out on a daily basis. Our daughter grew up serving food, bed rolls and tea to many a people who passed through our doors since she was 6 years old. </p>
<p>For the most part we never even thought about her education other than attending the obligatory parent teacher meetings (K-6th). We always got the same report: shes a very considerate girl and a good student but never anything that would indicate a scholastic gift of any kind.</p>
<p>We were happy enough and just hoped she would one day go to collegewe lived off McGills campus and thought it would be wonderful if she could go to McGill, with a little luck, and continue living at home (such as it was, homeless refugees and all) and helping us in the life we had chosen to live.</p>
<p>We moved from Montreal to Maryland when she was in 7th grade and for the first time in years we had a private family lifeno phone calls (not even an answering machine) sailing on the Chesapeake and planting our gardens in our little cape cod wed redecorated on the bay. </p>
<p>Again, we had no input on the classes she would take and I dont ever recall seeing her grades. We were always more concerned with how she was being received by the American kids in her new environment.</p>
<p>We had to move her again in 10th grade: from Maryland to a rather competitive/intense school district in N. Jersey. We hated doing that to her, but at the time we were financially constrained to do otherwise. She didnt feel as comfortable in this suburban school, but she seemed to be making the best of it, she was in marching band and joined a few clubs. Again, we thought we hadin Garrison Kellers termsan above average child, but certainly noto use Carolyns termsuperstar.</p>
<p>Coming out of her junior year, we were surprised to find out she had won some science awards at the state level in chemistry (we werent there to see it; she didnt think it was important [?]) was the president of the club she had joined (philosophy), President of student council, Chairperson of another, treasurer of another and in her senior year valedictorian. We were dumbfounded you just cant imagine!</p>
<p>So, other than bragging about my daughter, I have nothing to add as to why some kids excel. It cant just be pressure from parents; we gave all our time and love to her, but we were scholastic slackers as parents. I do see some parents acting in the ways described in this thread (and detect this same thing in some of the parents on cc). With high or low expectations from the schools and parents, I wonder if certain kids will excel academicallyeven against our best efforts.</p>