<p>I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years at the beginning of the summer.</p>
<p>It was less that college necessitated the break-up and more that it provided the logical conclusion to a relationship that I didn't want to last forever. Impending college made me re-evaluate what I want romantically. It also made me ask myself whether I was ready for this sort of thing (the answer turned out to be no).</p>
<p>I think it's a good thing, in general, not to be too tied down when starting college, whether it be to lovers or friends. That doesn't mean abandoning the past, but new life stages require some flexibility. You can't predict how you or your partner is going to change... If you stay together, it is probably best to be prepared for that growth apart and not force the relationship if there's even an inkling that it might not work.</p>
<p>^^^ I agree. Going into college, the absolute last thing you want is a girlfriend/boyfriend. You are meeting so many new people it's crazy! Though this argument can always be made (ex. why get tied down in college? as soon as you graduate you will meet more and more people!!), I think it applies best in the high school the college situation. </p>
<p>Seriously though. One of my good friends, who is still with his girlfriend from high school, got in trouble with her literally two days into the school year. He lived at home on the weekends, just to be with her, and really was never truly acclamated with college life. We sat around and traded stories at the end of the year, yet he never was a part of any of them. Maybe in the end he will end up with that girl, so it could all be for not. At some point though, he will unquestionably regret his decision to limit his college experience.</p>
<p>Personally, I disagree that hooking up with people or dating around is a good or necessary part of the college experinece. Keep in mind that it's not right for everyone. There are people who choose very carefully who they are with, and don't enter into a relationship unless they are really sure/serious about it.</p>
<p>Also, it's been mentioned that you would want to go to parties and make out/hook up with people. Again, I don't believe it has to be a part of the college experience at all. I go to parties all the time, but I also don't believe in making out with random people, and I am waiting until marriage with the other stuff (no, it's not a religious or family thing). I think this discussion definitely needs a different perspective.</p>
<p>there are lots of opportunities when you get to school, just know this. if you find out the distance hurts and you still want to be together, someone will make the effort to visit. otherwise when you get home for winter break/summer after first year, you might have a better idea about both your needs.</p>
<p>I think it's best to break up before you go away to college. There are so many opportunities to get involved in things and so many new people to meet and it makes it hard to become part of that whole college scene when you are tied to someone from your "old life."</p>
<p>If during the time you are at school you both realize that the relationship means more to you than any of the things or people you've become involved in in your "new life," you can always get back together.</p>
<p>Personally, I would not get back together with someone who broke up with me to try out the "new life" and then realized they wanted me back. You either make a commitment or you don't, but don't expect that the person will come back to you (even if they are not involved with anyone).</p>
<p>I have a friend who had a long distance relationship though all four years of college. They got married after graduation and have now been divorced for ten years. She says she wonders what college life would have been like if she had been unattached and not using weekends (two hours away from each other) to visit each other. </p>
<p>I guess my point is that if they had broken up before college, experienced some of college life, and then decided to get back together, my friend would not be wondering what she gave up. </p>
<p>Of course it has to be a mutual decision to do this. It wouldn't be easy but it could save a lot of second guessing later or show the couple that there are other things out there more important to them than their relationship.</p>
<p>Sure, you miss out on the college experience a little, but if you're happier on the weekends with this person, even if you are doomed to divorce or break-up later, than maybe that is a good trade for you. My case was weird- I dated a guy for two years and broke if off to meet even more amazing people in college. We considered getting back together over the summer, but I decided I loved the college experience tons more, and that there would be plenty more men out there just as great. And there have been. No regrets.</p>
<p>Heck, I suggest breaking up with someone right before you leave for college even if you're single. Call up somebody and tell them you're better off as friends. Then tell them not to act so surprised and tell them you're glad they're taking it so well.</p>
<p>This way you can write off whatever you do in the first week as a "rebound."</p>
<p>I really don't think being in a LDR hurts the college experience as long as you're both on the same page. I've been with my bf 3.5 years (2 of that in college). We had issues when he was more emotionally needy than me (constant calling, wanting to know where I was all the time, etc) and ended up taking a break for a few months freshman year. But now that we've both adjusted to college and have our groups of friends, it works great. People on here keep saying those in LDR use all their time calling their significant others, but I've seen just as many couples on campus spending every waking second with just each other. The key is balance, whether long distance or not. If you desire partying+hooking up as part of the "college experience," then clearly that's your priority, not the relationship.</p>
<p>I'm leaving for college in about two weeks, and I've just gotten involved in a new relationship that feels a lot more "right" than any high school ones ever did. I wasn't planning on going to school with any attachments, but this seems like it might not be a bad idea. He's a good bit older than I am (25), and so the pressure's off as far as real competition in our own social circles. The other factor is that he's in NY and I'm leaving for CA... so I'm not really at all sure of how this can work.</p>
<p>I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years (I’m a senior in high school while he’s a junior). I agree with acollegestudent, and I think the posters who don’t agree with him just consider it more extreme than it really is. “Not having friends of the opposite sex” doesn’t mean just what it says, it means don’t get too close to anyone who would make your SO feel uncomfortable. If you have a boyfriend, then you shouldn’t have a best friend who is also a guy. Also, I think this only applies to friends who are not mutual friends (i.e. I am completely fine with my bf talking to my best female friends because I understand why he would want to talk to them).</p>
<p>When my boyfriend went to governor’s school all summer, he started hanging out with a girl every day for about a week. The idea of another girl spending more time with him than I could started making me feel really bad. We had a talk about it and he respected how I felt enough to stop spending so much time with her, which is something that seemed necessary to me. </p>
<p>We are not each other’s only friends, we don’t limit each other, and we are not ridiculous at all, just caring and understanding. </p>
<p>And to answer the OP’s question, if both parties involved think that each other are worth it, then there’s no problem.</p>
<p>Nothing like bumping a 2 year old thread. Anyway, I’ll respond anyways. My boyfriend and I are in both in different colleges. We’ve been together for over 3 1/2 years. We make it work and we’re stronger for it. </p>
<p>And those who say you can’t believe in love at 18, grow up! You can be. Not saying everyone is, but I’m not saying you can’t be either.</p>
<p>I’m in the same boat, too! My boyfriend and I are trying to be realistic - we’re not applying to all the same schools because we just know that it wouldn’t necessarily be possible to get into the same ones. It would set us up for failure since our majors are very different and we want different things out of our education. Currently, we’re at 2 years and 8 months and we’re really serious. College is just around the corner, right after summer (by then we’ll be three years), and we fully intend on staying together. We’re also getting webcams built into our laptops that we’re getting for school, so we can skype. Not to mention, we’ll have our cell phones to talk and text and picture message everything we see and just try to make things as normal as possible. Of course, there will be days that will be harder than others, and my main concern was the new life we’d be making for ourselves and how we’d fit each other into the picture. But you gotta remember - if the relationship is strong and meant to be, it will be. If it wasn’t strong to begin with, you wouldn’t stay together even if you lived in the same room. It’s about trust, too. People always told me that if he or I met someone new, we would want to break up, but if you go there knowing you aren’t looking to find someone else, you won’t put yourself in that position. I guess some things are easier said than done, but all you can do is try. No crystal ball can tell you what’s going to happen. But honestly, webcam is the best idea: it’s like you’re there with each other.</p>