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Worked out very well for us...
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<p>Then you should rethink your relationship. Seriously.</p>
<p>Pseudonym, what makes you think that everyone sees it as a limitation. I certainly don't, and I know a few other people who feel the same way and follow this rule regardless of whether or not their SO does. People have different beliefs, and I think if you and your SO can agree on this it definitely works.</p>
<p>P.S. It's not about being afraid of them cheating on you or something.</p>
<p>Mathwiz, why do you say that? It's something both of us believe in and want (no pressures), so what's the problem?</p>
<p>If you can't trust your girlfriend to have male friends, then what the hel* are you doing?</p>
<p>It's not about trust. Believe it or not there are people out there who think that your boyfriend/girlfried should be the only man/woman in your life (I am not talking about acquintances). I think there are a lot worse things to believe in, and I am surprised how intolerant people are of this view.</p>
<p>How is restricting your potential friendships to half the population not a limitation? "Honey, if you really care about me and our relationship, you'll decide in advance that you can't be friends with half the people you meet." How is that not stifling?</p>
<p>I really don't see at all how placing an unnecessary restriction would make your relationship stronger. I'm in a long distance relationship... my girlfriend has friends of all genders and so do I, and I wouldn't have it any other way. My life would be a lot worse if I cut any of my friends out of the picture. If it's not about cheating, what is it?</p>
<p>I have lots of male friends and I'd never date someone who didn't want me to have them. I am VERY rarely attracted to male friends (my ex is the only one EVER, and I liked him even before we were friends so it wasn't the friendship that made me fall for him). I have no problem with a guy having female friends either, as long as he considers them friends the same way I consider my guy friends (JUST friends).</p>
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It's not about trust. Believe it or not there are people out there who think that your boyfriend/girlfried should be the only man/woman in your life (I am not talking about acquintances). I think there are a lot worse things to believe in, and I am surprised how intolerant people are of this view.
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<p>Wouldn't you like to think that your boyfriend/girlfriend was going out with not because you were the last girl/guy on the planet, but because she/he actually liked you? Wouldn't you want to be able to trust her? Heck, wouldn't you want her to be friends with you friends?</p>
<p>Before starting dating we both had friends of the opposite gender, so there is no issue of being the last people on the planet for each other. And neither of us care too much about each other's friends. We are best friends and have been for a long time before we went out. We are each other's closest friends (that is not to say we don't have other friends, but we just aren't as close to them), and that's all that matters.</p>
<p>I'm just an old fogey, but even some of us old fogeys have been through this very same situation. Commitment is always possible when two people are willing to make it work. Long distance relationships are never easy. Just like it can be difficult to discern the tone of comments in emails (and text messages and im!), it can also be difficult to fully give all the intimate/daily details over the phone that strengthen the bond. But two people who want to make it work, do. Sure, there is temptation when you are not together. Guess what, that doesn't go away just because you get married! Strength of character will get you through those weak moments and help you avoid being put in a position where you might give in. It takes maturity, strength, and love to make any relationship last.</p>
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Before starting dating we both had friends of the opposite gender, so there is no issue of being the last people on the planet for each other.
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<p>So you ditched your friends because your boyfriend/girlfriend asked you to? And you asked your boyfriend/girlfriend to ditch his/her friends as well?</p>
<p>OK, I think you are really misunderstanding. No one ASKED anyone to do anything. We just both believe it was the right thing to do. Even while being single I knew that's what I was going to do, and even if we break up, that's still what I am going to do in my next relationship and I believe so will my SO.</p>
<p>Your friends are lifelines, relationships come and go. What are you going to do if you break up with this chick? I hope none of your friends take you back after you ditched them. That's ridiculous.</p>
<p>First of all, I think if you put your friends before a relationship you shouldn't have one (or at least I wouldn't). I would date around until I was sure, but I think the person you are dating ALWAYS comes first -- to me that's just part of the commitment of going out with them. And we are still together (it's been more than two years). Plus, we've been best friends before we started dating, and we are more important to each other than any other friends.</p>
<p>Yes, but I would never date someone who would only date me on the condition that I ditch my friends. Or on any condition really. Take me for what I am, nothing more, nothing less.</p>
<p>It was not a condition.</p>
<p>But think about all the people both you and your SO are missing out on knowing! That seems like a real tragedy to me.</p>
<p>What if the person you were dating were bi? Would you insist on being their only friend?</p>
<p>I don't think we are missing out on anything. We are happy and really don't want any more friends.</p>
<p>well, if I knew a couple that felt thet both partners really just wanted each other as their only real friends and didn't need nor want anyone else, I wouldn't want to be around them much anyway, its just too much</p>
<p>what many have discovered is if you are so close and you stay a couple who sees each other every weekend, talks online or on the phone all the time, etc, you will miss out on making other friends and doing stuff at your school...and then when you break up, which is the most likely scenrio statistically, no matter how in love you are at 19, you will not have made some of the contacts and connections you might have</p>
<p>I almost feel that some keep the BF/GF as a kind of shield - can't date, can't talk to boys, can't whatever, gots an SO, so it gives a kind of protection of having to deal with issues that may come up, and such</p>
<p>and jsut remember, turkey dump</p>
<p>Remaining faithful to one's long-distance SO doesn't prevent conversation or platonic friendships with the opposite sex. Having a l-d relationship doesn't have to interfere with one's social life. You can (and should) join clubs, Greek Life, intramurals, etc. My now-H and I were 8 hours apart. This was before the days of internet, IM, even cells. Taking inflation into acct. both phone calls and airline tix were a lot more expensive back then. We still communicated quite a bit on the phone, even more through the US Postal Service and in the beginning were only able to see eachother every 5 weeks or so. We didn't miss out on anything. </p>
<p>Long-distance relationships in the college years can work if you BOTH want it to succeed.</p>