Lesson Learned . . . and a bit of venting

<p>wow i actually answered somebodies qustion right!!! lol....thanks northstar</p>

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This is just my fact (I don't have opinions) but any middle class person who spends $40,000 per year on a kid for college is a complete idiot

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<p>joev, what familyincome level/net worth do you consider to be "middle class"?</p>

<p>What is the maximum amount you feel a "middle class" family, as you define it, should spend on their child's college education - and not be considered an idiot?</p>

<p>Families and students should not take on excessive debt to attend a "prestige college". Studies have shown that students who are accepted to the Ivys and places like Duke...but don't attend, do as well as the students who attend these schools. Obviously there is a difference between a local community college and Duke. But it is not as clear to me that there is that large of a difference between a $20K/year private school and Duke $40K/year. I think many things determine a students success in college, and the small private schools have a compelling story. For example, many of the large and $$ schools use the large lecture hall +graduate student method of teaching, much like the large state schools. It is clear to me that students at smaller schools, with a small class size and a hands-on professor, are getting a much better education than the comparable student sitting in a large lecture hall.</p>

<p>my 2 cents</p>

<p>I agree that very accomplished students can do well in virtually any school. In my D's case, she's a kid who, while smart & the queen of ECs, was not particularly academically inspired. She'd do what was asked but never push the envelope. </p>

<p>I felt that a LAC environment would really help her achieve more in college by personalizing the experience and making it intimate. Her best performance has always been in the discussion-type classes like literature, government. </p>

<p>For a kid like this the private route (or the rare public LAC) may well be worth the extra money if the depth and passion of academic achievement is figured in, not just the kid graduating.</p>

<p>Absolutely, SBmom. Sometimes a state school can end up costing more if it does not match the kids needs. My friends who are very successful, happy with their big state U experiences, swore they wouldn't spend a dime on expensive privates. Until Kid #2 came up to the college plate. Their D was enormously successful and happy at State U but knowing her experience and how things work there and knowing Kid 2, they felt it would be a poor match. They ended up sending him to a small LAC which was just a much better fit for him, and to them worth every dime. There are a lot of personal issues that can make a private school a better choice for a given child or family even if the cost is more.</p>

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I agree that very accomplished students can do well in virtually any school.

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I agree with a caveat ... I absolutely agree in the case of proactive self-motivated students (in my case kid #1) ... for kids who sometimes slide by (kid #2) being the big fish in a smaller pond may not be the best environment for them to challenge themselves.</p>

<p>Also I want to note that sometimes the big state school is the "better" school both by reputation and selectivity. I know a number of parents who are shelling out for small LACs that do not have the prestige of the State U. Those schools are simply better fits for their kids for a number of reasons and have nothing to do with prestige.</p>

<p>I had no idea this thread existed when I started the "It is OK to choose the cheaper in-state school" thread in the parents section.</p>

<p>To the OP, any kid that is working as hard as your kid is going to be in great shape in life wherever they end up. Don't beat yourself up.</p>

<p>In our case, going to a private uni or LAC is cheaper than our state U, which also is not strongest in their areas of interest. Nevermind not wanting to live in a freshman warehouse er...dorm with it's own zip code. (I kid you not) Prestige has nothing to do with it. Anything outside of our two flagship unis is not considered prestigious where we live. </p>

<p>I consider us solidly middle class, and I guess we're not idiots since we are not paying anywhere close to 40K per year for our kids to go to school. Personally I feel that each family has in their mind what they can afford or are willing to pay.</p>

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In our case, going to a private uni or LAC is cheaper than our state U, which also is not strongest in their areas of interest.

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<p>texastaximom, you are singing our son. As a single parent, I was one of those families caught in the middle, made too much money to be eligible for TAP/Pell at my state university, didn't have the money to pay full freight as our state university because it would have been our EFC and loans. Since we knew that we were going to have to pa something- atleast of EFC, or us the less expensive option to throw our hat and caution to the wind and apply to the privates (with SUNY/CUNY school as a safety) to get the best "bang" for our buck. Fortunately for us, it did work out as daughter is attending a 40K school for less than the cost of attending State U (basically our EFC and a few small loans so D will finish with about $23,000 in debt). Is it a crap shoot, definitely, but as texastaximom also stated each family has in mind what they can afford and are willing to pay so these conversations need to take place before the first application is filled out.</p>

<p>sybbie--I think we do fall into a unique spot. For some the privates offer no aid because their EFC is too high; for others with low EFC, the loans would be more at a private than a state. </p>

<p>There were other things to factor in: kids are starting to need a fifth year at the state uni, the tuition went up twice last year in the spring and the fall when they decided each state institution could set its own rate and not have to go through the legislature, and the legislature cut the higher ed budget again. We also found, that in our case, the instituional financial aid was a lot more than the outside scholarships my son could use to defray the cost of the state uni, plus those outside scholarships tend to be for one year only. (ie Ford Salute to Education and the like) </p>

<p>He was not in the enviable position, as some kids here are, to receive a full ride or large discount at the state uni because of high SAT scores or valedictorian status. That changes the whole picture, when you have a child that can go free, or nearly so. He would not receive a heavy discount at the state uni. I still think we would have opted smaller, but a full ride is a full ride. I can understand either position.</p>

<p>We targeted privates that met 100% need. The few that did not meet 100% need gave radically different aid. I would also add that it is imperative the "safety" and some of the "match" schools also are financial safeties when going the private school route. We saw, after the fact, that a safety son applied to was not a 100% need school. Fortunately it was not his only admission!</p>

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<p>Well....I would consider us to be middle class. We aren't spending $40K but we ARE spending about $26K....still a lot of money when you think about it. The reality is that our "flagship U" just has a terrible program in DS's major so it was never even a consideration. Out of state U's and privates were about equal in cost. Fortunately DS did get a decent merit aid award from his expensive university...the equivalent of getting one year free (we like to look at it that way....it makes us feel better). DD is looking at schools now. She could go to the state flagship U but really has no interest in it. She is applying to schools that most would consider to be safety schools given her stats (High GPA, very high class rank....she'll take the SATs in May). She is only considering one school that is outrageously expensive and is a reach (Davidson). Will finances be a consideration in the end. No. If there is a school on her radar that we don't think we can pay for we will make that decision BEFORE she sends the applications. SO...just call us idiots...we may be paying $40,000 per year for her college education. It's not idiotic...it's our choice.</p>