<p>This book (Letting Go: A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years, 4th edition, by Coburn and Treeger) has been recommended many times on CC, but I have just gotten around to reading it. Any parent, particularly of an '08er, would benefit from this -- it really is excellent.</p>
<p>Thanks for the reminder, dbwes. It’s been in my amazon cart to buy later - I just clicked to order.</p>
<p>dbwes, can you tell us more about it?</p>
<p>I really liked that book! I bought one copy, and passed it to a dear friend, who passed it to a friend, and so on. Had to buy myself another to keep at hand.</p>
<p>Also, particularly for moms of daughters, She’s Leaving Home: Letting Go As My Daughter Goes To College, by Connie Jones. While I didn’t agree with every single word, so much of this one resonated very deeply. I bought multiple copies to give as gifts to the friends who are mothers of my D’s best friends.</p>
<p>The University of Miami sends a copy of “Letting Go” to all incoming parents in the summer.</p>
<p>It was really helpful to me. I read it well before my son started college and would have re-read if he’d had any issues during his first year, but he hasn’t, so I haven’t needed to. I thought the authors did a good job of helping parents interpret a child’s communications, as in, “When she’s saying this, it might really mean that.” Or, “When he’s asking for this, he might really need this other thing.” My son is so straight-forward, we don’t need to translate, but my friends with D’s seem to need more help with this. Over-generalization, I know.</p>
<p>Karen Coburn is terrific. She actually presented the “Letting Go” session for parents at Wash U orientation 3 years ago. Her advice is right on target. </p>
<p>Our experience was a bit of the “I’ll be so miserable you’ll be happy to see me leave”, but I fooled them. Killed them with kindness (and cookies, and favorite dinners and, and , and) and cried when I left them. But watching and listening to them grow up from afar has been as much of a joy as watching the early milestones in their lives. I think I’ll go cry again now!</p>
<p>the book is kind of like cc–covers many areas of the “leaving home—letting go process” including what to expect dropping your child off–when they call home etc. realistic and sensitive to both kids’ feelings and needs and parents…</p>
<p>At the parent meeting at Columbia’s orientation, they recommended “Letting Go”, so I bought it and read it last summer. It might be time for another perusal to see what sophomore year has in store for me.</p>
<p>acme – I think other posters have given you a good idea. They start with a little adolescent psychology, talk about how college has changed since we went – technology and all that. They then start with the admissions process and take you through all four years, (or so I am guessing – I haven’t finished it yet.)
The underlying theme is the tug-of-war between connectedness and independence. Equal amounts of attention paid to the student’s and the parent’s emotions.
Another book I took out of the library which maybe doesn’t apply to all your high-achieving kids unless they are like mine – extremely bright but with bad, bad study skills – is College Rules by two educators at UGA (don’t have their names in front of me, I am at work, the book is at home.) Focuses on adjusting to college ACADEMICALLY – no discussions of roommates or laundry or bank accounts, but about note-taking, smart studying, not falling behind, getting to know profs. Emphasizes that studying in colllege is DIFFERENT and how important it is to get a strong start.
Not sure I can get my kid to read it, though – I’ll try leaving it out somewhere this summer!</p>
<p>Excellent book- someone please bump this thread during the next few months to keep it on the radar for everyone.</p>
<p>I bought the book and wished that I’d done so earlier when my kids went off to prep school; lots of relevant issues which apply just as much.</p>
<p>bump------</p>