<p>I must be the loneliest college student in America. Without any friends or an intimate partner for two years now. I try therapy, various clubs, helpful advices by the parents on this forum, working out, fake confidence, and etc... and to no avail. Maybe now I should give up on the fact that I would ever have any friends and start looking for a girlfriend before it too late.</p>
<p>OK I don't know what else to do or where to start or who to turn to. I'm just so lonely, and words can describe how I feel. I have been on various forums for the past 2 years now and everyone keep telling me that things will change, but it hasn't, and it only seem to get worst. I barely pass most of my class due to loneliness and I don't know how long I can keep that up. I think I need to spend big buck to see a physic, and that probably the only way I can foresee my future, what do the parents on here think?</p>
<p>I am sorry you are so sad. I know you have received lots of advice and support so I will give you one additional idea. There is a group called toastmasters. It is a support group that people use to learn how to speak in public. They have weekly meetings. You start of small. Introducing yourself and every week you speak more as you become more comfortable. There are little assignments for you to do each week. Go and do not stop going. Make yourself go. Your self esteem will slowly rise and you will become more sure of yourself. Your new found confidence will lead to an ability to make friends.</p>
<p>You must do something, some one thing, and stick with it to help pull yourself out of the muck you are stuck in.</p>
<p>I have read some of your past posts, and it sounds to me like you are suffering from depression. I think you should get a full check-up from a doctor ( go to your college’s student health center), and tell them what has been happening with you. Medication may be the thing you need to get you feeling a bit better about your life and your situation.</p>
<p>I too am sorry you are feeling so bad about yourself. Have you implemented any of the ideas that you have been given about joining a church group or student organization or theater? </p>
<p>Please, please go see a doctor / psychiatrist. You are worth it. Please do keep in touch with us.</p>
<p>I feel lonely even when I have friends that I knew for years now.They think everything is cool with me, but every interaction seems superficial. And right now, maybe I have depression, I am somewhat tired of interacting with people. Just like you, clubs don’t help because I have problems sharing my life to people. Recently, I have shared my problems to my friend for like 2 years now, and she ended up taking advantage of me. That’s why I also feel depressed. Good thing, I am busy right now at work and school. So, not having time to think makes me sane. You are not alone. This is what I feel too, right now…</p>
<p>How long did you try therapy? If you only went a couple of times, that wasn’t enough time to help you. If you ran into problems with not liking what the therapist was doing or how therapy was progressing, did you talk to the therapist about it or did you just stop going? It’s vital to talk to your therapist about your concerns.</p>
<p>If you didn’t like your therapist from the first, did you try a different one? If you a medical problem, you wouldn’t probably give up on doctors if the first one couldn’t help you.</p>
<p>You talk about looking for a girlfriend if you can’t make friends. Having a romantic relationship is more difficult than having a friendship. Until you develop the skills to make friends (and there are real skills that you can learn ) or solve any mental health problem like depression that may be inhibiting your friendships, it will be next to impossible to make friends.</p>
<p>Have you gotten a medical check-up to see if you have depression? That’s also important.</p>
<p>In a previous post, you’ve expressed an interest in the theater. Even if you don’t get cast, there should be plenty of things for you to do as theaters are always looking for volunteers to help with costumes, lights, sound, tickets, props, etc. Just go and volunteer. Theater people tend to be very accepting and welcoming.</p>
<p>“. I think I need to spend big buck to see a physic, and that probably the only way I can foresee my future, what do the parents on here think?”</p>
<p>You’d be totally wasting your money. You’d also be lining yourself up to be scammed big time.</p>
<p>You need to spend your money on getting the psychological and/or medical help that you need.</p>
<p>Please do not give up on therapy. Persist until you find someone you click wth. Also, I think you may want to see someone who can refer you to a good psychiatrist for a complete workup. Medication may really help you. I know many people resist it, but it is worth a try when you feel as badly as you do. </p>
<p>Make sure that the clubs and activities you try are task-oriented ones in which you do a job or project together. You may already have tried that. Or activities in which someone needs to help you do something or teach you how to do something. Conversation then centers around the project or task. </p>
<p>Good luck and best wishes. Please don’t give up on therapy.</p>
<p>Well seeing today is another lonely Friday, I don’t know what else to do to keep me sane. I don’t want to have to continue to play video games to not have to think about what other people are doing with their lives on a Friday night. I want to get back on my old anti-depressant Lexapro, but I won’t be able to see any psychiatrist for another two week. Someday I wish I could just over abuse it so I can get result right away. I don’t know depression very well, but my depression symptoms is obvious, I got no friends and anyone in the same situation as I am will feel depress. Student organization and clubs are the same thing I think, but either way I try both of them, and it actually hard to make friends in either off those groups, and that was my therapist suggestion. I don’t like theater at all, the only reason I wanted to be part of that class was to make lot of female friends, cause the ratios off guys to girls in that class was 1 to 5, which didn’t happen because the professor decided to be a ****** bag and not let me join when there were 5 spot available. </p>
<p>Then there are the really risky decision of switching school but that not gonna happen because I’m currently in a good school and if I were to switch, I could never go back to a school like this one because most off my grade are barely passing with lot of withdrawal and Pass/No Pass class. Anyway to sum it all up, I’m in probably the biggest mess of my life, and it amazing I haven’t completely lose my mind yet.</p>
<p>I was wondering if any parents here would want to talk to me via AIM or Yahoo Messenger, then feel free to pm me.</p>
<p>If you are to the point where it is hard to make yourself get out of bed (I mean really hard, like hours) or if you are feeling really detached, you do need to to be under a doctor’s care and be sure your parents are aware of your feelings…but the important thing is to realize that you can grow and change. Even though it is easy when you are young to think that you have achieved your final way of “being” in terms of personality, interests etc., that isn’t the case. It sounds like you had difficulty forming friends in high school as well? You sound as though you have decided that because it hasn’t happened it won’t happen. Please try to explore doing things you might not have thought you’d enjoy. As another poster mentioned, volunteering to help in theater would help. Have you thought of trying to volunteer outside of the campus (what is the size of your town). Is there a library? They often need people to help and it is a way to get to talk to people in a different context. Librarians are usually pretty easy going too.
You mention you like video games - and theater - have you ever tried role playing games? Dungeons and Dragons for example? Yes it is geeky but for those who enjoy it it can be a great way to socialize (my daughter - college-aged - is such a geek). Alternatively physical activity is really really good for depression so if you could just learn to enjoy working out or join something that is physically active. You are certainly not the only person on campus who feels lonely and isolated, even though it may seem that way. Please don’t feel like this will always be your state, things will change but sometimes it isn’t easy to do.</p>