<p>I'm so lonely at school right now. I stay busy enough during the week with extra-curriculars and studying, but when the weekends come I often find myself alone. My roommate is never around. I try and be proactive like when it comes to finding people to eat with, but sometimes I'll get in contact with 6-7 people without any luck. Either I can't get ahold of anyone or they already have plans and don't think to say "oh why don't you join us," even if I know the people they're going with.
I don't know what to do; I haven't actually gone to a meal with anyone since Thursday night (but I was also working over dinner both Friday and Saturday this weekend.) I feel like the friends I have don't go out of their way to include me in stuff, it's always me who takes initiative. I've accepted the fact that I'm the type of person that doesn't get invited to the wildest parties (and, honestly I don't really care) but eating alone and not having anyone to talk to really sucks sometimes.</p>
<p>are you making friends in your extracurriculars? ask them when they eat.</p>
<p>Go with them even if you don't know the other people. You can become friends with the other people.</p>
<p>Perhaps you are giving off the vibe that you don't want to be included or are too busy to hang out with them, so maybe you could take the chance and simply ask them if you can join them. Do this a few times, and soon enough, they'll start expecting you to join them. People get mixed signals all the time, so don't give up!</p>
<p>There's this one guy that I met in the dining hall during lunch a couple of weeks ago, and he seemed like an awesome fella. We had a great convo, and he seemed to be into a lot of the same stuff as me. While we talked, he did mention that he is always busy with extracurriculars, but in the same breath he said he didn't have many close friends and would like to get out of the dorm more on weekends. At the end of the conversation, I exchanged numbers with him, and offered him to hang out with me and my buddies sometime. I figured I'd invite him to a basketball game or something, and we'd probably end up being pretty good friends.</p>
<p>Well, a month has passed, and I've invited him to a few different events that I know would be right up his alley... and each time, he's had some other obligation that he had to go to instead. I feel for the guy, he's obviously busy, and he genuinely wants to be friends, but it's like he doesn't even have time to eat lunch with his buddies... If you call him, he's running off the phone to go to his next extracurricular meeting or work... and waiting for him to actually invite YOU to do something is like watching paint dry. LOL. How close can you get to a guy like that? Only as close as his schedule allows.</p>
<p>My point is, Olewannabe, you sound like you might be a little like this guy I described above: an awesome dude, but you might have a little bit too many activities going on in your life for some of your friends. My mom always tells me, "You make time for the things you want to do." And I believe it's true. You might be the busiest guy, but if you want a healthy social life, you WILL make time for your friends. </p>
<p>I hope I helped.</p>
<p>Shadow07, you're not exactly the best at giving advice. Just like in your other thread. What did you just say? You basically said, "I met this guy who is too busy even for his FRIENDS, and even though he's cool it's SO HARD to actually get to know him. Therefore you might be one of these people who have no time for friends. Therefore, the end."</p>
<p>Lol. Sorry.</p>
<p>This guy darvit just follows me from thread to thread. I think he makes it his life's goal to constantly criticize me.. dude, just let me be. Get a life man.</p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>Haha, I get why people got a little annoyed at you in your other thread but this advice was actually good. He might actually be too busy to hang out with people or not making a great of enough effort. Are extracurrics, work, and studying taking up too much of your time?</p>
<p>Shadow07 is right. Don't be too busy for people because of EC's. </p>
<p>When people say EC's is a great way to meet people it's true. But you don't find friends from there. You find people to call when you want to play a sport or something related to that EC because you know they're interested in that topic.</p>
<p>Next time when you call someone ask you can tag along. Don't say "Can I tag along cause I have nothing to do" cause that makes it seem like they are your last choice. Don't say anything that makes you pathetic either.</p>
<p>Say something like "Hey can I join? I haven't hung out with you guys and you seem pretty cool" or something like that. Make sure at the end of the "hang" you get some contact info and remember their names.
When you see them in school say hi. Don't make it awkward and ignore them in the hallway because you're waiting for them to say something.</p>
<p>By doing this you're making sure they remember you and next time it won't be as hard as it was the first time when you try to hang out with them. GL</p>
<p>Eating alone isn't really that big of a deal. I usually eat at the same place each day, so if there's someone else there that I know, I eat with them, if not, I don't, simple as that. </p>
<p>And I recommend trying to meet people in your classes, it works out pretty nicely since you see the same people at the same time in the same place every other day, and you already have something in common. Furthermore, as you get more into the upper level classes of your major, you'll start seeing the same people over and over again who are in your major, so that works out pretty well too.</p>
<p>Shadow07,
I thought your advice and example here were excellent.</p>
<p>Saying this as a person who used to be extremely shy (including in college), and who finally overcame it as an adult. Reading the OP's message reminded me of how much angst I went through over eating in the dining hall in college. Since then, I've learned that it's OK to look for a friendly face and then to ask if it's OK to sit next to the person. I've also learned how to start conversations.</p>
<p>What helped me in addition to pushing myself to reach out to others was reading self help books including those on making small talk and getting over shyness. Fortunately for current college student, such info is easy to find on the Net.</p>
<p>OP -- have you thought of making your weekend plans earlier in the week before everyone else has made theirs? Also, are there ECs like community service and spiritual activities that you can do on the weekend? That can be a nice way of making friends, and often people hang out together after such activities.</p>