Looks are most important in college.

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>Agree or disagree?</p>

<p>I have read some threads on CC about what people like or prefer in the opposite sex, and for some reason, everyone is incredibly dishonest about or beats around the bush with the idea that looks are the most important quality. See the recent thread of celebrity preferences for guys. The whole thing is idiotic. What we know of celebrities, since we do not know them and most of us have never met or interacted with them, is that A) They are good looking, and B) They do a job. Since the latter is irrelevant, the veiled implication of the question is that it is really just "who do you think is the most attractive celebrity?" and then we just attribute all these other characteristics onto them based on our own secondary preferences. It's nonsense.</p>

<p>Then, you take into account that in college, it is advisable for most people not to be in serious relationships. If you're not in a serious relationship, or even, not in a relationship at all and date casually, how could you possibly say without lying that looks are not the most important thing? Nobody would casually date or even have a one-night stand with an ugly person with an interesting personality unless they were really drunk. We all aim high and we always pick out the really attractive person to try and be with. For the most part, personality does not matter. Guys say it all of the time, like, "oh, she's bat **** insane, but she's hot and great in the sack." You wouldn't consider the opposite, ever, for a quick lay or even to casually date for a week or even a month. </p>

<p>Girls are the same way, but they don't like to admit it, because it isn't as sociably acceptable. Why do you think Twilight is so successful? It's their fantasy of a really attractive half-naked guy rescuing them from their suburban droll. They also complain about how they can't find a "nice guy", but the nice guy is almost always unattractive or incredibly boring and impotent. Then those guys wonder why they end up with *<strong><em>s out loud, but it is obvious to them why they end up with *</em></strong><strong><em>s: They are better looking. Better looking people are more confident, they might be cocky, but they aren't all *</em></strong>s. That's something that jealous people put upon them. It may be true for quite a few of them who let their situation get to their head, but it is mostly jealously.</p>

<p>So, can we please end these nonsense threads about preferred gender qualities? It is really pathetic, like we're all hopelessly trying to discover some secret angle we weren't aware of, some insight on what some guy or girl prefers. They all end up the same way. We mention a bunch of stuff and cloak the important thing - LOOKS - as the bull crap line of "it wouldn't hurt if he/she was good looking too...", when that is obviously what counts for the most in college. Maybe later in life when we're all old an ugly we can marry for money or intellect, but now we're in college, and unless we do find someone interesting, intelligent, funny, witty (and, by the way, attractive), worthy enough to be in a relationship with, why can't we just admit that we are looking for the best looking girl or guy, period?</p>

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<p>No one says it because they know they’re shallow and don’t want to be judged.</p>

<p>Unfortunately CC is full of holier than thou people but everyone avoids saying they would never want to date someone ugly.</p>

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<p>Ideally yes I would find a girl who’s a 10/10 on my books who also has a love of video games, metal, technology, current events and just having a good time and who isn’t a hussy. But I’m also willing to take a girl who’s a 7/10 and has some or all of those qualities versus a girl who’s a knockout 10 but is less compatible with me than iPhoto is with Windows 95.</p>

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<p>Prefer the 7/10 in what circumstance? An extended relationship, right?</p>

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<p>Yes, I’m not a big one-night-stand or casual sex relationship person anyway. And yes if I was drunk and horny it’d be great to have a romp in the hay with someone who looks like Anna Kendrick but I’m not too choosy (mainly cos I don’t think I have much room to be choosy).</p>

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<p>Younger humans are predisposed to be facile, especially females, therefore I will agree to the extent that appearances are very important, if not the most important attribute.</p>

<p>I second the idea about the serious relationship business. For males, when we get out of college and make the money becomes the time when we can have the best ‘casual encounters’. It is a natural disposition to gravitate toward the one that seems to be the best bearer of, or provider for offspring (in the case of males and females respectively.</p>

<p>You are also correct about the nice guy nonsense; they are only about a useful as the doormats they imitate, or their chequebooks, whichever is greater.</p>

<p>Mating rituals, especially in the modern era, are silly; to me, it is like shooting a watermelon. Given the rampant feminism and the predisposition toward ‘happy accidents’ on the part of females, it may just be best to stay away from them. I’ve shagged my shares of 7s and 8s (from 1-10), and to be honest, it has gotten boring. They brought little of value to my table, rather, they were liabilities more than once.</p>

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<p>^Get a dog for a companion, your hand is all the lovin’ you need</p>

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<p>Nice idea, but I already put a statue of Athena beside the computer, and that simulates enough human proximity for my purposes :D</p>

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<p>Dude, Van, where did you come from? That is some impressively bull-free things for CC you just wrote there. In an arcane, almost anthropological way too. Props.</p>

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<p>I think the OP is being silly.</p>

<p>Sure, we all have physical preferences, and without a doubt we all aim for the most physically attractive mate. But, there is a major difference between a person you have a one night stand with or a friends with benefits situation than a person you want to have a serious relationship with, with emotion and attachment.</p>

<p>If the girl is hot but a complete witch, I will enjoy her for what she is - a good romp. If the girl has a nice personality but not physically attractive, I will also enjoy her for what she is - a friend.</p>

<p>However, you can find a nice balance. My wife is pretty and has a great personality. She has a great sense of humor, is smart, outgoing and comes from a good background. </p>

<p>AND I’m attracted to her - she’s sexy.</p>

<p>Would I have dated her if I wasn’t attracted to her, regardless of her personality? No, I wouldn’t have. But I wouldn’t have dated her if her personality sucked either.</p>

<p>If definitly dated a bunch of the hot bat-stirr crazy type of girls too, but eventually you learn your lesson. Besides, as a young college kid, the hot bat-stirr crazy ones are the most fun.</p>

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<p>Besides, I think it’s pretty much accepted that people date within their “class.”</p>

<p>I mean, if you are a 4 don’t expect some chick who’s a 10 to pay you any attention - that’s just biological selection and gene preservation.</p>

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<h2>is a natural disposition to gravitate toward the one that seems to be the best bearer of, or provider for offspring (in the case of males and females respectively. ~ Vanagandr</h2>

<p>Which would be physical and sexual prowess - not monetary acheivement.</p>

<p>The women who marry a guy just because he provides a stable life will just go out and screw her ski instructor because she is really just using the husband for financial gratification.</p>

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<p>tobaccoNchocolat: Disagree, based on real-world examples.</p>

<p>You’re stereotype that good looking guys are always the ones who get the girls, and that below average looking guys will always have to settle, is an incorrect stereotype. It is close to the truth, but by a correlation you’re not correctly identifying.</p>

<p>Why then are there ugly guys with extremely attractive girls? And very handsome “nerds” who never seem to be able to get a girl?</p>

<p>What you say is far more true from guys towards girls – in that a guy would be far less likely to date a girl uglier than himself than a girl dating a guy uglier than herself. Looks is not irrelevant to girls, however, just less important than you think.</p>

<p>With guys, looks is a ‘deal-breaker’ feature that must be satisfied before a more-than-friends relationship is considered. With girls, the ‘behavioral vibe’ is the ‘deal-breaker’ feature that must be satisfied before a more-than-friends relationship is considered.</p>

<p>Why do you think it’s common practice for girls to use make-up, but generally not guys? Why do you think it’s common practice for guys to act tough, but generally not girls? It’s not just some arbitrary societal practice, but based on real physiological differences in brain chemistry between male and female. What IS an arbitrary societal practice, however, is the thought that “it’s pretty much accepted that people date within their ‘class.’”</p>

<p>It’s a bit cliche to say, guys with “confidence” are more attractive to girls, but it’s true. The thing though it you can’t just “get” confidence instantly, it’s an attitude towards life that comes as a result of many internal mental states – and if you don’t have it it’s going to take a lot of lifestyle and mental changes.</p>

<p>Unfortunately the biological attraction circuits are never perfect. Just as a guy will be attracted to a pretty girl who’s stupid and disrespectful, similarly a girl will be attracted to a confident guy who’s abusive and criminal. Just a downside to our biological wiring, but understand that this is the way it works.</p>

<p>If you’re a guy, yeah, looks matters. But not even 1/10th of what you probably think it does to a female, as opposed to personality and confidence. I can count at least 5 below-average looking guys I know who practically have girls (very attractive) begging to be with them, and as they’ve explained to me, so many guys today just put out a vibe that says “I’m a wimpy and insecure about myself, I’m creepy and would probably stalk you if you ever bowed to my level to date me, because my belief that I’m not a worthy date is a self fulfilling prophesy that has made me so desperate and lonely to the point of possible mental damage”.</p>

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<p>Chicks dig scars & muscles…at least mine does :)</p>

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<p>I personally am not attracted to someone unless there is an emotional connection. Yes, there are celebrities I find attractive, but that doesn’t mean I’d want to date them. As in, a lot of very attractive guys are kind of d bags, there are attractive guys that I am friends with but would never date. It’s not that they’re shallow, there is a physical attraction, but that emotional connection doesn’t exist so it’s not total attraction. Some people care most about looks. I’d say initial attraction is physical, because that’s all you have to go off of, but everything after that initial attraction is built on emotional connection (unless it’s just a casual hookup). Yes, looks do matter to an extent, but I don’t know of any lasting relationship that was based solely on looks. Based on the dating scene I’m around a lot of relationships were built on emotional connections. Physical attraction existed, but there wouldn’t have been a relationship without the emotional component. So no, I don’t think looks are the most important- if you solely mean how attractive a person is.</p>

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<p>NotBlue, I don’t understand what you are disagreeing with. I agree with your whole post. I didn’t touch on it as intricately, but that is all basically what I am saying. The looks correlation is more important for guys, but it is still very important for girls, and the more subtle things they find attractive in guys (confidence, eminence of power), are most often found in guys who are good looking. For instance, fat guys are hardly ever confident. See how they get when they have to go swimming.</p>

<p>Also, I don’t believe that I used the word “always”. I believe I said “mostly”, which acknowledges the circumstances where things do not align, as you touch on in your last part. Of course nothing can be perfect.</p>

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<p>Interesting start… But then you agree with me and make no sense in doing so…</p>

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<p>… Because I clearly make the distinction for college students who are not looking for serious relationships unless they find the person with the perfect balance and they want to commit. Perhaps you should read more closely.</p>

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Another thing you may not realize, but happens subconsciously, is that we all pick up on body language without thinking about it. It’s actually pretty startling if you test this – have someone walk into a room with poor, low self esteem body language, and you’ll probably not even see him/her. But have the same person walk into the room, shining with a good personality and self worth, and you’d swear they became physically more attractive (as well as emotionally).</p>

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Ok, sorry I misinterpreted. I think we agree.</p>

<p>My main point I guess was that it is 100x less likely for a guy to date a less attractive girl than a girl to date a less attractive guy, so below average guys should feel incredibly lucky that they’re guys and not girls in this case. A guy can change his personality, a girl, on the other hand, can only hope make-up helps. Seems so unfair for girls when you think about it.</p>

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<p>You’re spot on with the self-fulfilling prophecy idea. It is incredible what acting confident can do and see how people respond to you. Eventually you believe you are as confident as you lead on, at which point, you are actually very confident. Great success with this mindset.</p>