Lots of Acquaintances, No Lifelong Close Friends

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>I'm starting my Senior Year of college and I finally accepting that I'm a loner. </p>

<p>I try to keep busy and have an active social life working several jobs during the school year, mentoring students, being in active in several religious organizations, being on E-Board, participating in different cultural and professional organizations. I have many acquaintances, but don have any lifelong close friends to tell my darkest secrets.</p>

<p>I have people to that I bump in and hang out with, but that's only because of coincidence. I have few people to call up to hang out, that would hang out with me, reliably. But even the group I people from high school that I would hang out when I come home from college are REALLY UNRELIABLE and they MAKE EXCUSES all of a sudden to not hang out with during the holiday. The few people from high school I felt closest with and the people I felt close with I grew apart or the other ones BETRAYED ME.</p>

<p>I've had best friends, good friends, that would last at best to five-seven years, but never 10 years or lifelong. My ex boyfriend was my best friend for a good half of college, I put too much energy into the relationship, that I missed out on opportunities.</p>

<p>People labeled me as a hermit, weird, quiet, stuck up, socially awkward, having socially anxiety and ADHD. But I don't have social anxiety and ADHD (I was tested several times).</p>

<p>I'm an INFJ, but that means very little. I used to be really outgoing and friendly in high school, but in college, I was exhausted from acting "extroverted". It wasn't the real me. </p>

<p>I'm impulsive. I used to shop too much, I was on the path of becoming a borderline hoarder from collecting binders, books, and clothes.</p>

<p>I went to counseling for help throughout my college career, but they were little help and was recommended to by the school doctor to go on antidepressants. All the counseling department tells me to get close friends, besides family, but if I did I wouldn't go to the counseling department.</p>

<p>Senior year we have to do group projects, but I don't know many people to be my partner and in my group for my classes. I'll ask, but I don't have anyone to rely on except myself.</p>

<p>I feel like I'm going crazy and believe I'll always be a loner at heart. I surround myself with people, but they aren't my true friends. I'm too trusting and made myself vulnerable to betrayal by "close or good friends".</p>

<p>I'm 20 years old and think I'll never get married, because I have my issues with anxiety which is the cause of my shopping habit and "borderline hoarding".</p>

<p>Will it get better? Is anyone in the same boat with lots of acquaintances, but few lifelong close friends?</p>

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<p>I know how you feel. I am a senior as well with no “real” friends. I have a few people who I hang out with but I don’t connect that well to them. They are not ideal friends and I feel like they don’t really care about me. I had 1 really good friend last year but she graduated. So now I am kind of alone again like I was my first 2 years. It sucks being in this constant search for friends. Its so unsettling and depressing. It was so nice getting a break from the search last year but at the same time now I know what I am missing. I have been trying to talk to people in my classes but so far only talked during one. Sometimes its just really hard to think of something to say. I am going to join a few clubs but honestly I have never made any friends from clubs. I made tons of acquaintances but those relationships never turned into anything. The only friends I have made in the past was through my classes, people I have lived with and through other friends. </p>

<p>The good news is, its senior year. Then again I have to go to grad school after and I have no idea what that is like… I hope things get better for you. Just try to stay positive and be as friendly as possible. Sometimes you find friendships in the most random places if you put some effort in.</p>