<p>I'm in the same situation, sort of. My D started dating a someone at the beginning of the summer. She's leaving for her school in 2 weeks and although he is a year older, he decided to transfer to the local U before he met her (a decision that he is now regretting). </p>
<p>My D will be 8 1/2 hours away from him and he'll be living at home, it's going to be hard. To further complicate matters, my H and I are relocating 4 hours away from where we currently live and to further complicate things, my H is not handling his baby having a boyfriend very well. I don't see how much they are going to see each other after she gets to school. My H somehow thinks that this boy is going away in 2 weeks and he won't have to worry about him.</p>
<p>This has not been an easy summer for any of us. My D doesn't want to think about going away to school and since I am trying to sell our house, I don't have any room in the house to even put the stuff for her to take and so she hasn't bought anything to take to school.</p>
<p>OP, I'm glad you posted about this, I am glad to hear others are in the same boat as my family is. </p>
<p>I'm been positive about her going to school and she has unlimited texting and her new laptop has a webcam. The only thing I tell her is that she can transfer if she feels she is too far from home but she is having a really hard time with everything. She doesn't feel that she is going to have a home to come home to and since we are moving to another state, she doesn't really have anywhere to transfer to.</p>
<p>I'm trying to stay calm. I'm hoping my H will come around and accept this boy.</p>
<p>I'm trying to stay positive. Unfortunately, both my husband and son are very stubborn. My husband can't see that getting angry only makes things worse and son won't back down. He will have a webcam and cellphone to keep in touch with gf. I have no doubt s is somewhat apprehensive about being away from home, even without the gf issue. I just hope s won't lose sight of his long term goals.</p>
<p>LifeIsShort- What is the issue between your son and husband. Is your son saying he actually doesn't want to go? Or is it about plane fares? what is it your son won't back down from?</p>
<p>Almost always when s and h get into an agrument, neither one wants to back down and it winds up being a yelling match. This time, when s said he might not want to go to college anymore, his dad said he was a loser and it went downhill from there. H likes to think he was more focused and disciplined than s is at this age.</p>
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H likes to think he was more focused and disciplined than s is at this age.
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Oh boy, can I relate to that!!!!! H says this sort of thing a lot, in reference to our S. I usually end up saying something like, "Really? Let's ask your mother about that." I try to maintain a sense of humor, but sometimes feel as if I'm qualified to be a world-class mediator. Our S has a gold medal in "Stubborn," and H is not far behind.</p>
<p>Aw, that must be painful for you to watch, and for all concerned.</p>
<p>I hope you can talk to your husband and see if he can soften up a bit. It would be sad for your son to leave for college with hard feelings- I know your H will regret the words when S is gone. </p>
<p>I have found that a girlfriend actually helps with son's long term goals. Women have a settling effect on men, ya know? ;)</p>
<p>Actually, I really like this girl. She's grounded and smart. But I'm afraid now that s is heads-over-heels in love with her, he is thinking of not leaving for college now.</p>
<p>Don't do anything to send the message that staying in town is an option. Just be kind but calm and matter-of-fact about it, suggest ways he and the girlfriend can keep in touch, remind him that he'll be back for vacations, etc.</p>
<p>They're not star-crossed lovers separated by a cruel and heartless world, after all. Don't let him turn this into a big Romeo and Juliet scene!</p>
<p>Life is Short, my H won't meet this boy. It's really hard, my D's BF is very nice and my H won't even meet him. He says that it has to do with my D's behavior. She lied to my H when he wouldn't let her go out with him, it's complicated but my H says that he's ready to move past this.</p>
<p>My H is already at his new location but my D was dating this boy for a month before he left. He just won't meet him, he is coming home this weekend and I hope that he will meet the boyfriend but I'm not optimistic.</p>
<p>I know that I'm not the OP but this thread is very helpful to me. My H and my D are the stubborn ones. My D does not want to go to the same college as this boy but it would be nice if she wasn't so far away. She's going to be 12 hours from our new home and it's really hitting home now.</p>
<p>Does your husband realize that by not meeting the boy and at least acknowledging the relationship, he's fanning the flames?</p>
<p>If your daughter is going away to college, she'll have plenty of opportunity to keep the relationship alive if the two of them want it. It sounds like you and she have a good relationship as well, which will really help her transition to college. Stay positive!</p>
<p>Deb, it sounds like you too, are battling a stubborn couple. I agree with cronie, your h might be driving your d closer to her bf. But your d and her bf seem to be focused on college, so that is a very good thing. It is understandably hard on you to be so far from your d, especially if she is the only child. I know it will be hard for me too. But I pray that all of our children will eventually mature into geninue good and caring people and that they will truly find their happiness and success.</p>
<p>Thanks cronie ad LifeIsShort. I also think that my H is pushing my D towards this boy, I'm trying to temper things by being very supportive.</p>
<p>It's been a very hard summer with my H's fight with his D, I think some of it is his problems letting go of her. Pushing her away instead of being so sad to see her go is easier. </p>
<p>Hopefully when my H comes home this weekend, he and my D will try to repair their relationship before she goes to school.</p>
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<p>She lied to my H when he wouldn't let her go out with him<<</p>
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<p>Why wouldn't he let her go out with him? She's out of high school and the boy is only a year older, right? Does he think she isn't supposed to date until she's 25 or something??</p>
<p>Good to hear from all the "married to my hs sweetheart" folks, and parents whose kids have made the long distance thing work. I think that gives our lovesick kids some hope and might make leaving easier. Even if it doesn't work for them, they can leave knowing that it's possible.</p>
<p>lunitari, I don't understand why my H wouldn't let her go out with this boy. He had a little melt down. My D asked if she could go out with her friend "M" and since my H had never heard of him and it was going to be after 9 (he worked until 9) my H told my D that it was too late and he didn't know this boy and what was she doing going out with college boys! He's only 6 months older than my D and a very nice person.</p>
<p>I can't explain it. But my D lied to us about meeting this boy after my H told her she couldn't go out with him (she tells me that she just didn't want to tell her dad but that she was going to tell me, she hadn't told me and her friend spilled the beans, which really set my H off).</p>
<p>So my husband is mad and hasn't talked to his daughter in six weeks and will not meet this boy. It's the worst summer of my life. I hope that they can repair their relationship.</p>
<p>Deb - it is hard sometimes to move on when your trust has been breached, like when your d lied to him about going out with her bf. But at some point, we all have to move on. I hope your d and h can have a heart-to-heart soon. Some men find it difficult to express themselves emotionally though. From reading your past threads on this situation, it sounds like your d has a good head on her shoulders. I hope your d and h can have a upfront and honest discussion to air out their differences. For me, it seems to help when I have a discussion with my h first because he tends to react stubbornly. Good luck to all of us parents!</p>
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So my husband is mad and hasn't talked to his daughter in six weeks and will not meet this boy.
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<p>What? Are you serious! Who is being the immature one, here. I can't imagine any "crime" my kids could commit that would make either H or I not speak to them, even for a day, much less 6 weeks. Are you sure your husband is stable? I find that extraordinary.</p>
<p>Stay close with your daughter, as this must be very hard for her.
Dads should realize that if they push their daughters away, there will be another man ready to take their place in their little girls' hearts. Big mistake!</p>
<p>This does sound like a very tense and sad situation, deb. Try to talk some sense into that husband of yours! Best of luck to you.</p>