<p>It's easy to get caught up in all the stress and drama. But even if a student doesn't get in anywhere, that doesn't cause the sky to fall or the world to stop turning. Kids get jobs, kids travel. After all, next year is another admissions cycle...</p>
<p>My recurring dream, at least the one I remember, is similar: I missed an exam and I'm not going to graduate on time. It amazes me what's still buried in there 25 years later.</p>
<p>"I really am having terrible worry and anxiety." I'm not trying to be flippant, or casual here but maybe a mild medication might help. There are some pretty effective new sleep meds that are safe. Even a mild anti-anxiety pill. Just a thought.</p>
<p>Is it only on CC that parents have recurring dreams about potential academic failure? Mine involves Econ101. They lost me at Supply and Demand. And Im the one with the business career. </p>
<p>1ofeach, applying to a rolling admit school is a good suggestion. If allowable by your daughters ED choice, then an EA addition can also a sleep-saver. But the real antidote to insomnia is having a safety that the thought of your daughter going to doesnt give you the willies. She doesnt need more than one, she just needs the right one. If she doesnt really want to go there, then keep looking!</p>
<p>The second point is to be prepared for the worst case. Its highly schizophrenic she needs to love her ED school with all her heart and soul but at the same time have those RD applications ready to roll. For us, it was better, psychologically, to send the RD applications before the ED results came in, even though it meant paying application fees. There was something comforting about knowing that our son had several pots bubbling simultaneously.</p>
<p>I empathize, as I am a wee-hour worrier and waiting that month for the ED news (which thankfully was good) nearly finished me off. Maintaining that realistic balance of optimism/confidence and pessimism/backup plan is a delicate balancing act. I really agree with Carolyns suggestion that you keep your daughters ED and selective school hopes and dreams to this site and try to avoid sharing with friends, relatives or other parents. Even if they are well-meaning, having to explain the process and especially the set-backs -- just adds to anxiety. As far as interested outsiders are concerned, say that she has 8 (or 6 or 10) good choices and well see what happens in April. Even if its not 100% true, if you repeat it like a mantra it begins to sound reasonable. :)</p>
<p>Thanks for your reassurance that I'm not alone. Cheers, I think deciding to run a marathon would definitely push me over the edge. But I did start spinning this month so let's count that :) Actually, I'm usually fine during the day because I'm busy. It's the middle of the night or when I'm stuck in unmoving traffic that my heart begins to race and I imagine every terrible scenario possible. When I'm rational, I know that everything will be OK. My D loves her ED school, she also is applying to her safety EA, which is allowed. She really likes her safety and it should be a slam dunk for her, but I still have the "what if they reject her for some reason thoughts" I know that even if THAT happened we would have time to get another safety (or 2) out. She has a few nice matches which will be filled out and ready to go. The high school is sending out all their materials for every school before we even hear from the early schools because her GC doesn't want to have to rush around if the ED doesn't come through. Because of you great CC people, we are so better prepared. It's ironic, but without CC, we would be in awful shape, but we wouldn't even know it and I wouldn't be worrying. I just would have assumed she'd get into her ED school no sweat.How crazy is that?</p>
<p>I agree with Carolyn on the rolling safety school admission...DD just got into one and I definitely feel less anxious about the thread issue now. I have a new anxiety....worse I fear. What if she gets into her ED school? The school is a reach for her. What if she really dosen't belong there (academically) and is miserable next fall? What if she can't cope? The school is a 2 hour plane trip away. Mind you, this is my troubled psyche...DD is not worried, yet.</p>
<p>don't borrow trouble from tomorrow.</p>
<p>What ? You mean some of you people are worried? Having funky dreams? Well, I worked myself into a full fledged tizzy* while wide awake yesterday over financial aid (*medical term, used primarily in the south, major symptoms are churning stomach, hyper-useless-activity, cold sweats, crawling skin ,and seemingly rude and abrupt behavior. Related maladies-See also "running around like a chicken with his head chopped off".)</p>
<p>But I'm all better now;). See the Fafsa. Be the Fafsa. Ommmmmmmmmmm.</p>
<p>seiclan - if they accept her, she can handle it. Ya gott believe.
curmudgeon - take two m&m's and call me in the morning. ;)</p>
<p>LOL, curmudgeon! </p>
<p>Those worst case scenario, daymares/nightmares are well known during college admissions. I think no matter how many safeties your kid has, those thoughts can creep in (what if they don't think she's really interested, etc., etc...). Those doubts were really magnified for me when my d. was deferred from her first choice ED school (we still sometimes pinch ourselves that she ended up getting in RD). Anyway,
1ofeach, try to stay super busy during the day, so you'll be more exhausted at night. --You can then use that same remedy next year to deal with missing her when she leaves!</p>
<p>Rolling admissions made our Christmas last year! Forget music school admissions, don't make it?, a big University is just the ticket! I don't think there is anyway out of the year for youse guys. But remember good times are just ahead. In fact I'm going out right now; this is a good year. Makes you appreciate.</p>
<p>thanks to this thread I had my usual dream last night!!!! I am weeks behind in my classes shuffling through a pile of papers trying to figure out which class to go to and where it is, looking for the assignment sheet to determine how many chapters of reading I haven't done. The only typical part missing was me turning to my wife asking why I was enrolled in college since I got my MBA 25 years ago!!!!</p>
<p>It's time for someone to put us out of our misery. By "us," I mean the legions here present with variations on the same dream. My personal variation (well, ok I have more than one, but here's a sample). I am headed to the final exam for xxx course. I don't even know how to get around the campus! I don't know where the building is and if I finally make it to the building I can't find the right floor/room, and if I find the right floor/room, time is almost up. In this variation, I can't remember if I actually know the material. But in my other variations, like everyone else, I haven't done the reading/have never been to class etc.</p>
<p>What's up with us?</p>
<br>
<blockquote> <p>Is it only on CC that parents have recurring dreams about potential academic failure?<<</p> </blockquote>
<br>
<p>No. Having this nightmare is common among almost everyone who ever went to college, not just us CC addicts. I read an article about it once. It's so common that some psychologists refer to it as simply The Dream. It usually takes the form of some variation of this: You suddenly remember that you soon have to take the final exam in a difficult class that for some reason you haven't studied at all. It's too late to drop it, and you haven't gone to class all semester and haven't even bought the book. You are doomed....</p>
<p>I still have this dream 30 years later.</p>
<p>But what does it <em>mean</em>?</p>
<p>
Exactly my dream, although mine adds I'm waking up to realize this at nine and the 2 hour exam started at eight.<em>shivers</em></p>
<p>(Of course, not all of mine is a dream. Some of it is a horrible memory.)</p>
<p>Yes, it's a common dream, but I have to believe that going through the college application process with a child and spending time on CC stimulates the dream and increases its frequency. As I mentioned, I just had it again last night which I attribute to reading this thread. Seriously, it would make an interesting study. Plot the incidence of "the Dream" over time. I predict a steady decrease in frequency over time as we get older, and a sudden upward spike approximately 16.75 years after the birth of child #1.</p>
<p>Oh, and does anybody else realize in their dream that they received their degree 25 years ago so what are they actually doing in college?</p>
<p>I'm glad I'm not alone, this is good therapy. Specifically in my nightmare there's a crowd at the bulletin board, all nerding with each other about what they got on the exam. The grades are listed alphabetically but not by name, just SS#...but next to my # is a zero. I didn't know there was an exam; somehow everyone else did!</p>
<p>I too have read these college flashbacks are a common dream; another is you're being chased.</p>
<p>What does it mean? I don't know but interesting we seem to dream bad things about academic stuff. Never about the great parties, all the fun stuff, etc.</p>
<p>Slightly different slant in my version. I do have more social wories. No academic worries. Just logistics. I am at a new university. My dorm is weird or I can't find it, my room is weird or my roommate won't let me in, the campus is illogically put together, I can't find the registrar to get started, I am full of anxiety but also the thrill of the new. Then I suddenly realize what others have pointed out. </p>
<p>Why am I here? I already graduated. And there is both a moment of relief and a moment of sadness.</p>
<p>D#1 is applying to umpteen (spelling?) Law Schools, D#2 is applying to 10 colleges (1 ED).</p>
<p>I've borrowed my friend's DVD collection (can't wait to watch "24") in preparation for the sleepless nights to come.</p>
<p>Alu - I also have that dorm/environment dream. Everyone else in the dorm knows each other, which room they're in. I don't. I leave my room to go to class and try to return having no idea how the campus is laid out, how to get back to my dorm. When I finally find it by trial and error, I can't find my room or I've been moved out of it etc.</p>