<p>I just had to share last night's dream. I wonder if other parents are having "anxiety" dreams....</p>
<p>I went to campus where my son was taking a class with the other prefrosh kids (some of whom were CCers from the Penn board). I was dropping something off to him. When I arrived, I peeked into the class and the prof was going REALLY fast (kinda funny in retrospect).....it was a math class (son's problem area). The prof was putting these LONG problems on the board and then erasing them really fast.....like in fast forward speed. My son was struggling...but the other kids were having no problems keeping up. Then the bell rang (yes, they had a bell at Penn!! tee hee) and the other kids got up and walked out. My son stayed at his desk and tried to finish his work...but I could see that he was really upset. One of the CC kids walked by me and said "momsdream, your son can't keep up.....he's going to have problems". And I thought, "what have we done?".</p>
<p>And then I went out to my car and someone had smashed the window of my car and taken my new coat. (the bad neighborhood myth)</p>
<p>I know it's just anxiety....but it was troubling.</p>
<p>Although I should say, recurrent dreams about not making it to a test is something many people who have studied for many years have had! Including me. </p>
<p>p.s - not a psychiatrist and not a dream-analyzer (And has Freud gone out of fashion these days?)</p>
<p>He will find friends and teachers who will help him if he needs it. He will do fine as long as he wants to work hard. So do not worry. He will come out with flying colors.</p>
<p>Please try to calm down! Your dream story reminds of the stories that they tell about kids at prestigious colleges wondering if their acceptance letters were mistakes. The administrators of these colleges emphasize over and over again - if we let you in, you will do fine. Congratulations on your son's achievement - try to enjoy it instead of stressing about it!</p>
<p>I don't think about these things when awake. I know he's been well prepared and his counselor says their kids should make a smoothe transition to college because they've mirrored the pace/workload. His grades were better this quarter than any of the past three years...with an A in math. So, I know the dream is irrational.....I think more of my angst (when awake) comes from him leaving a small, nurturing environment to go to a school with 10k ultra competitive undergrads. But, he wanted the larger school....so it's his choice.</p>
<p>Momsdream--you're such a nurturing mom that you've had the classic anxiety dream on behalf of your S--just think how much better it is that YOU had it instead of him!</p>
<p>Under no circumstances should you tell him your dream--I assume that's why you posted here to vent to other parents who TOTALLY understand.</p>
<pre><code>BTW, we have 3 Penn kids in our circle of friends--all deliriously happy there.
</code></pre>
<p>Momsdream, there are 10k undergrads, but it is broken up into different schools. So I think the effect is, it is smaller. I could be wrong. Isn't the College about 5000? That's about a middle size university, not a large one. Plus the impression I got when we visited the campus was, the academic advising was very good. Lots of guidance as well as freedom to do anything you wanted. That's what I liked about UPenn a lot. Lots of choices. Too bad, my son didn't want to apply for other reasons. </p>
<p>My son actually wants to take language courses there. Possibly Pharsi or Urdu and if not available, then Hindi. But the course catalog is amazing.</p>
<p>You gotta calm down. It will be fine. The reality is that "he's no longer in Kansas" or in this situation, high school. Some classes are going to be past paced and he may feel that he is being left behind, he may have a professor who gives a first exam that will send students dropping like flies, but guess what, he will find a way to work it out. He will raise his hand and ask for help, or me may feel that he's going to take his "C" (or maybe even a "D") like a man and improve his grades in other places. (You would be suprised at the number of undergrads, as I was one of them who got to the point that they felt they could afford to eat a "C" because they are getting A's in everything else and it just wasn't worth the stress). At the end of 120 credits or 35 classes, it will be a blip on the radar.</p>
<p>We love our kids, but we can't take them by the hand through life. They will do what is best for them, and even if they stumble and fall , they will learn the valuable lesson in getting up, brushing your self off because this too will pass.</p>
<p>Mom, your post reminded me of one I had last year before the decisions came out. In the dream we were at campus to move him in (and there was snow on the gorund in August). Some students offered to show him around but then they kidnapped him (who was anxious?) and I had to go look for him. There was a long car chase through the woods and on icy roads. Apparently I saw something I shouldn't have and the CIA started chasing me across the top of the buildings. I was jumping from rooftop to rooftop. I woke up in a cold sweat and wondered if I was losing my mind! But no kidnappings so far, and he said he hasn't seen the CIA on campus even once. He still teases me about this. (I didn't tell him about it until after he got in.)</p>
<p>It does get easier. It is scary though, especially the unknown factor which will go away once he gets there.</p>
<p>Reminds me of the weird dreams that I used to have before D was born and when she was a newborn. You know the ones where you leave them somewhere or the one where you forgot to feed them. But all with bizarre switches and turns. </p>
<p>I think it is also an internal acknowledgement that things now are really beyond our control. That is is time to let them go a little.
I always enjoy your posts</p>
<p>Achat wrote, "My son actually wants to take language courses there." My daughter also wants to take a class there, in The History of Science. But I had thought it would be nearly impossible to take a language class out of your own school what with language labs and things; I'm glad to hear I was wrong about that.</p>
<p>Searchingavalon, I don't know if it's possible. I know when we went for Orientation, there was a senior who said he took special Chemistry courses (graduate level) at UPenn. I am hoping my son can do the same. I don't know the specifics. He said his class is a 3-hour class on a Friday afternoon and that's how he can swing it.</p>
<p>Thanks for the info, Achat. I guess there's plenty of time for D to decide what classes she'll be taking in a few years, and where to take them.</p>
<p>And now back to the op--yes, anxiety dreams are common, and hopefully yours will dissipate, especially with all the encouragement you're getting here.</p>
<p>momsdream. . . .you made me remember how anxious and neurotic I became as the date approached for my oldest child to head off to Wesleyan. I dreamed that there was such a bad housing crunch (and there was) that my daughter ended up living in a pink-tiled bathroom that was converted into a double room! The dream was so real and detailed that they only had one electrical outlet with cords and extension plugs running everywhere in the "room". It was a nightmare!! I shared my dream (and apprehensions) with my daughter who laughed at me. About a month after she moved into her double (a real dorm room), she called me laughing hysterically. She had actually met someone who was temporarily living in a converted bathroom!!</p>
<p>Somehow they all survived and thrived and graduated in four years!</p>
<p>I understand your anxiety and sympathize. You (and your son) will get through this difficult time and look back and laugh someday as well!</p>
<p>I very rarely remember any dreams....the standouts were during pregnancy...however I did make turkey soup this year with the leftover carcass. Sure enough, every night after that (consuming the soup at some point during the day, lunch or dinner) I had vivid dreams....we laughed about it in our house. Blamed the dreams on the tryptophan component...perhaps my sleep was deeper, more rem sleep, remembered dreams? Eaten any turkey sandwiches lately??</p>
<p>Also in a garden group...we discussed dreams at one gathering, every single one of us has had some sort of classroom nightmare about a test, taking and/or finishing a test. It was comforting to realize how normal we all were. </p>
<p>My child is a freshman...I did not expect him to be accepted....top school...once he was, my energy moved towards "how will he fare?" Suffice it to say he is doing just fine. The comment from "MotherofTwo" that if a school accepts a child, they can do the work is very true. Bask in the glow of the acceptance...enjoy the promise of the next four years. It all goes by in the blink of an eye.</p>
<p>Momsdream--obviously you are worried about your son's adjustment to a more competitive environment. Now can someone tell me what it means when you dream you are grocery shopping and you suddenly realize that you forgot to get dressed before you went to the store? PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one to have that dream. . .anyways it is an example of just because you dream it, it doesn't mean it is going to come true (hasn't so far, at least).</p>