^ downloaded. Sheesh.
Didn’t know what thread this fit in, so I’m going to put it here:
There’s a part in the video that accompanies this piece (around the 1:45-2:00 mark), where Holleran’s family describes her choosing Penn over Lehigh. The word “prestige” is mentioned. Of course, no one can say whether or not Madison Holleran would have fared better at Lehigh, but it still pains me to watch this section.
Over my years on this forum, I have been challenged (that’s putting it lightly) by posters who claim that “some people don’t factor prestige in when choosing ‘elite’ schools — whether BS or college”. Posters who resent my assertions that too many people do.
It’s not that I have ever claimed that EVERYONE does. I simply feel most do…and many more than would be willing to admit it. People get so defensive when it’s insinuated that prestige influenced a decision.
Don’t know why I’m sharing this other than I feel there are some important lessons to be learned from Madison Holleran’s story. Only one of which concerns chasing prestige.
The other point that really stuck out for me was this: Teens…that “perfect” life you might see friends sharing on Instagram and Facebook may not be as perfect as it seems. Don’t feel like you have to chase it (or “curate” your feeds to appear that way) either.
I found this to be incredibly sad - as much for the kids in general who may have fallen into the trap of believing what they see online is the whole story, as for Holleran and her family.
Her story is so tragic. I think of her often (there are some very extended pieces about her . . . maybe one from a Sunday Philly paper??, unwilling to go hunting for them) that speculate about the Lehigh/Penn decision. I agree that it’s impossible to know if outcome would have been different, but it’s also seems that she felt that Penn was difficult to turn down for reasons other than her likely happiness there. It’s hard to imagine a worse outcome from a parental perspective and my heart breaks for her family.
In terms of how much people chase such things, I think it varies widely depending on prevailing local norms. I’d imagine most people have never heard of CC, let alone spent hours agonizing about state U vs prestige U. Where I live, this just isn’t a big deal, but then again, my kids go to public schools, in extremely diverse communities, and out of the NE or Palo Alto, where focus on name schools seems of serious interest to many. Since I have only one child heading to BS, it will be interesting to compare how that influences college decisions and perceptions of prestige in the future. For now, the prestige frenzy may reflect reality for many on CC, but it doesn’t reflect my community at all, not out of a lack of willingness to admit it, but because really, no one cares :).
Madison’s story breaks my heart every time I read it. Maybe this is creepy, but during the application process, I had quite a habit of peeking at BS students’ social media profiles. I fell under the false notion that their lives were perfect. News: they’re not.
@stargirl3 Don’t worry, it’s not creepy at all. I used to do the same thing.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there! Thank you for adopting me into your CC family.
Because going to an Ivy League School is the most important thing in the world, right?
http://www.npr.org/2015/05/10/405694832/in-palo-altos-high-pressure-schools-suicides-lead-to-soul-searching?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20150511
I read that this morning @SevenDad and thought about posting it here. It lead me to thinking about the BS experience from my own family’s experience. In some ways, given the school they attended, they faced less pressure than they might have faced in public school or other privates - no student rankings, no GPA calculated, no AP classes (and neither of my kids chose to take AP tests). Although I know my kids have felt pressure at times, we aren’t parents who put tons of pressure on them, from a relative standpoint. Neither applied to or wanted Ivies, for example. On the other hand, knowing some of their classmates and hearing many stories of others, I know some pretty heavy pressure is there for many students. Living up to both their parents’ expectations and their parents’ own achievements. Both my kids talked about the long daily lines at the health center for medications - ADD (some real, some more geared towards performance), stress relief, mood enhancers, etc. Kids taking medical leaves for stress. I think little of this stress is created by the schools and more to do with a combo of individual personalities/societal and family pressures.
Very sad article. Served as a reminder to always keep things in perspective - that plus the news out in the past days about the ex-Penn State student missing.
related NYT piece from a month ago: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/12/opinion/sunday/frank-bruni-best-brightest-and-saddest.html?_r=0
What the heck is the point of all that homework?
On a happier note… my kid reports from Putney that they are playing Zombie Apocalypse this week… where they have to move around campus life/classes with nerf weapons to survive being tagged. So while she has a lot of work to do, she is having a blast.
@jdewey: Sorry I’ve been such a downer lately…
An interesting article from the Head of Dana Hall School: http://cognoscenti.wbur.org/2015/05/12/decreasing-student-suicide-caroline-erisman?utm_source=cc&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nwsltr-15-05-12
@sevendad I read all the articles you post with GREAT interest. … and I spend a lot of my time on this forum weighing the intense competition that lives here and checking myself, to be the parent who supports Dewkid towards a happy trajectory. I learn a lot, and in the process feel better prepared for my kid’s needs. So thanks for helping me!
But Zombie Apocalypse! … they’re moving in groups around campus to survive attacks. It sounds so fun!..and a nice balance from the end of the year push… also instead of final exams they spend 2 weeks doing independent projects. I wish I could share dewkid’s proposals (I’d rather not publish her to the world), but she will be engineering some pretty cool things. Its exciting.
After four years, CK is still waiting for Choate to become fun.
Recent threads tell me that we should have a BS Parent Cocktail Hour thread once a month when school begins next fall…
Like every second Thursday of every month at 8PM. Or… we can start now. 
Different time zones could be a problem. We don’t want GMT start the day with Cocktail at 9AM. 
Now works for me.
Why is it that every time I open an envelope or e-mail from the school, it requires more money. Ugh. Oh, and how do I change that little picture over there? I’d like to change it to something more reflective of me…like a black hole, or a bourbon on the rocks, or one of my cats.