<p>*
Also, the kids that went through the program at this college all say that it is amazing and valuable to furthering their future opportunities.*</p>
<p>Did they add that it was worth cutting short a chance to say goodbye to their friends & teachers by skipping the rituals they had planned & looked forward to?</p>
<p>Bottom line - it is a very personal decision - and it is her decision. </p>
<p>She knows that I want her to make her own decision and will support her in it. </p>
<p>I could see it going either way.</p>
<p>Has she decided what school she will attend? From your other posts it looked like she was revisiting the schools.</p>
<p>Nope - she hasn’t decided which school.</p>
<p>She will visit both schools and decide over the next couple weeks.</p>
<p>She intends to wait until then to figure out what to do about the summer program.</p>
<p>I think the most important thing you can convey to your daughter (besides of course “we love and support you no matter what”) is that 1) it’s her choice and 2) she shouldn’t decide the college based on avoiding the summer program issue. That you will fully support her decision should she decide to go to the college but dump the research opportunity.</p>
<p>more babbling that seems relevant to me:</p>
<p>My son went to a similar pre-frosh program. It started right before school, so we didn’t have the timing issues. He was excited and looking forward to it and everyone said what a wonderful, life-changing experience it was. To him, it was “eh”. Not that it means anything about your daughter’s program, but it could always be “eh” as well. He didn’t make lifelong friendships, he didn’t learn anything of major importance, etc.</p>
<p>And we just recently had a similar situation with him - he got two summer job offers. One was the one he really wanted, and the other was better in every way except that it wasn’t his preferred topic, but still very much in his preferred field. More organized, WAY better opportunities, WAY better pay, better variety to previous jobs, better prestige… But he really wanted the other. My son and I get along very well. I told him that it had to be his decision, and he had to make the decision I wanted. (He knew I was joking-but-serious … we would have supported him in either decision but really wanted the “right” choice.) He finally chose what we wanted him to, and he’s excited about it. We’ll see. This could backfire on us, but naturally, I don’t think it will.</p>
<p>I’m taking the other side, too. My parents made me miss a lot of senior events because they’re religious conservatives in a sect that doesn’t believe in socializing with anyone outside of the sect. It’s nearly 10 years later, and while I can’t say I spend a lot of time thinking about that stuff - lol - I wish I had gone.</p>
<p>It is true that by the end of her first semester, high school won’t matter anymore. And if she’s making the choice herself to miss those things, it may be different for her emotionally.</p>
<p>She does have 4 years to do research, and she doesn’t have to do it the summer before she even begins.</p>
<p>So, what are other parent’s kids doing over the summer before college starts?</p>
<p>Just curious…</p>
<p>Well, mine worked as a lifeguard at the city pool. Made enough money to cover books and personal expenses, got a great tan, and had a lot of fun. She’s worked her way up to assistant manager, which gave her supervisory experience, and helped her land her first job in a field related to her major, so hopefully, post graduation, she can find a full time real job. You’d be amazed at how well skills transfer from one field to another.</p>
<p>Mine did some volunteer work - but basically rested - we had a nice family vacation and enjoyed the fact that she had no summer homework for the first time in many years (well there was a book to read but since she loves to read that was no biggie.)</p>
<p>I worked some, but also spent time with my high school friends, and my parents took me on a vacation/roadtrip. I definitely appreciated our travel to different places, which inspired me to become a traveler myself.</p>
<p>This is a really tough situation. I would have been very torn as well. As a college freshman, I’m a bit closer to the whole hooray of graduating, and I think it really does depends on how attached your daughter is to her high school. </p>
<p>Is she part of a lot of clubs? Does she have leadership positions and people that would miss/need her? Is she ultra close to any of her teachers? Does she go to a small school and so has a closer connection? Does she go to a bigger school and so with more people she sees everyday? Did she spend her entire schooling in this district? </p>
<p>That’s just some other things for her to think about. I went to a small high school, and we had an entire week of senior activities. All the other grades would wish us luck, be kind to us, want to hang out before we disappeared from their lives forever, etc. Also, it might be different for me because I was class president, but I felt such a moving, bittersweet lull just being in the building for the last few days of classes. Being there with everyone felt like it was my first time truly seeing and experiencing what my life had been for the past 4 years; participating in the graduation glee was the rite of passage we had watched 3 grades above us experience and that we were finally completing. </p>
<p>Prom, however, wasn’t a big deal for me, and I skipped it to work. Also, I had a friend that graduated 3 months early, and he didn’t really care since he moved to town in middle school. Over all, I think high school graduation is what everyone makes of it. For me, I would’ve come back for senior week and miss prom and graduation, but for others, they’d go back for prom and skip everything else, just go to walk across the stage, etc. </p>
<p>I think it’d be a great program for her, especially since she’d get a taste of the major. I changed my major within 2 months of being at my university, and according to the counselors at my school, I’m supposed to change it 2 more times before I graduate. Even if it turns out to be a dud in that she won’t continue with it, it’ll save her one dip into the what-should-I-major-in pool, which she will probably come across at some point. And if it DOES work out, then she has a great r</p>
<p>She might be able to take a day off from the program for one of the events. The trip away from friends is probably out of the picture, but graduation or one or more of the other things might be doable, though crazy. Where is this college program taking place and how far is it from where her high school is?</p>
<p>My son had an amazing opportunity that clashed with orientation at his college. It made us miserable that this conflict occurred. We spent a small fortune flying out there, and taking him for two evenings and at least getting a taste of the Freshmen Orientation. He didn’t seem to be bothered in the least with missing any of it, but it sure gnawed at me.</p>
<p>Missing prom and etc. isn’t really a big deal. However, missing graduation and missing classes are. She shouldn’t miss those, they are at a high priority.</p>
<p>One can wish to miss graduation, but for what it’s worth, it may be a good value.</p>
<p>But for that program however it’s a good opportunity. It could definitely get her into her top colleges. It is her choice, and it is your approval, even certain school staff.</p>
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<p>Considering she’s a graduating senior… I don’t think this is an issue.</p>
<p>My kids both worked in the summer before college. They also both took a year off between high school and college and they spent most of their summers working at a residential camp.
Oldest did a year of service with CityYear that ended in early July. For the rest of the summer she worked as riding staff.</p>
<p>Youngest spent four months working two retail jobs to earn money for a volunteer vacation after high school graduation. Then she spent about five months volunteering in India and a few weeks in the UK visiting friends before she came home in the summer. She also worked as a camp counselor.</p>
<p>really and correct lullabies</p>
<p>Whatever this opportunity is, and regardless of how “life-changing” an experience it may have been to some (I am skeptical of those sorts of characterizations), it will be followed by four years of college, with its attendant opportunities for research and travel, and then perhaps 2 or 3 or 4 years of graduate school. In the rear view mirror of life, this one huge summer program will have shrunk down to something quite small, and it is unlikely it will still qualify as “life changing” as that point. I’m not making a recommendation one way or the other, but it strikes me that OP may overvaluing this opportunity, no matter how dazzling it may seem at the moment, and undervaluing the closure afforded by the chance to formally say goodbye to friends, teachers and a big part of the girl’s life through participation in the end-of-year senior activities.</p>
<p>Well said MommaJ #58.</p>
<p>I can’t believe people are blowing off high school graduation as no big deal! She didn’t know the dates so she has an easy out. I don’t think any college would expect her to sacrifice her senior year activities for " research." </p>
<p>She will only be a high school senior once, there is only one senior prom…etc. she should be celebrating her accomplishments with her peers and putting closure on high school. It’s a no brainer in my book ( and she may need her parents to guide her on what is really important in life). Do you want her to always put " her job" first? I hope your answer is no!</p>
<p>If she is unsure, it means the high school events are important to her. Let her know you agree. She has the next 60 years or so to do research. Do you think 20 years from now she is more likely to regret missing her senior year activities or doing a summer research program for teenagers?</p>