<p>D2 checks her school email. D1 not so much when she was in college. Both kids will check their text messages on their phones. I got rid of my text plan ($5 a month when I sent off 3 messages a month?!) but can send a text for 25 cents (I think) if I feel desperate.</p>
<p>Glad all worked out…</p>
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<p>Is your son online a lot with his computer or a smartphone? When my noncommunicative son was in college I used to rely a lot on the status messages he’d post on AIM. That’s old technology – when my daughter was traveling around Europe over the summer, hosteling on her own, I asked her to set up a twitter account and at least once daily post a message indicating that she was safe and where she was. (As in, “arrived in Vienna” – or “catching late train to Prague”). I absolutely detest Twitter and the whole concept… as does she … but it is very useful for that purpose. Some people might prefer a status update in Facebook or Google chat)</p>
<p>The point is, I think that if you had signed on to the computer last night and seen some sort of status message that said “studying at the library” – or even something that said “leave me alone” – you wouldn’t have worried. My daughter set up her twitter account so that only a select few subscribers could see it – these things don’t have to be broadcast to the whole world.</p>
<p>The key thing I understand about Asperger’s is the person who has it can’t see things from the point of view of another individual, so can’t grasp why the mom would have even wondered or worried. </p>
<p>Or as my brother said once, after we searched after him with concern and for hours… “I wasn’t missing. I knew exactly where I was.”</p>
<p>Big sigh of relief. I’m so glad he’s okay.</p>
<p>So this is what I have to look forward to next year. :-/</p>
<p>Glad that limabeans son is well and restrain myself from posting untill the where about of the son was properly established.</p>
<p>But look at the response, all were rightfully worried. Missing children are the worst nightmare a parent can go through.</p>
<p>But see these are the same CC parent who bashed heavily on the concept of maintaining a close system of texting about the children whereabouts saying it is too much to ask a child to text twice a day to the parent.</p>
<p>I hope most of the CC parent now realize that having a system in place is always useful then repenting if something awful happens.</p>
<p>poih, glad you brought that up. when my oldest was in college, and now my hs senior (who attends a math science school 6 hours away) i insisted on a quick call each day. sometimes they are longer, but most times, just a how are you, love you, bye. 2 minutes wont kill them, and i am shifting a bit to texting with hs senior. i posted once before about that, and felt others thought it was extreme to expect it… its not just to know they are ok, but also (god forbid) to know that if anything bad ever did happen, i had said i love you today,… not thinking i should have called last week but didnt want to bother them</p>
<p>Yes, I afraid and hate to admit it, but paying3tuitions is quite right. (post #63) My son simply has no concept that I was worrying why he wasn’t answering. Aside from not having fb or twitter or skype or opening up his emails, he also doesn’t text. He only uses his cell phone to communicate and when he doesn’t answer…well, I fret.</p>
<p>At least the small LAC where he attends is nearby and their security is quite good. They know me by name.</p>
<p>I’m glad Lima’s son is ok…but as I read this thread, I wondered if I am the only parent who doesn’t EXPECT to hear from my kids on a daily basis. We ask them to call us weekly and they usually oblige, but during busy times, even that goes undone. I haven’t heard from DS since he left here on the 28th. I only got an email from DD because I needed to schedule a doctor’s appointment for her and she was sending me info. It’s exam week and I don’t expect to hear from her again until she arrives home next Friday night…and I’m fine with that.</p>
<p>I know I didn’t talk to my parents that much when I was in school just across town from them. And I hardly EVER saw my freshman roommate, since she always stayed with her boyfriend. I always wondered why her parents never called (back in the dark ages before cell phones).</p>
<p>Well, this thread opened my eyes. I realize that I don’t have a backup for reaching DS, who lives in a frat house - I have none of his friend’s cell phone numbers. But worse, next semester he’s off to Europe for 4 months. I’m going to have to have some sort of backup besides his cell phone number and Skype - another person to call if he goes incommunicado, which boys are prone to do…</p>
<p>Implant a small GPS chip under his skin.:)</p>
<p>^ I would soooo do that . . .seriously. :-/ The boy is my heart walking around on two legs. Am I pitiful or what? ;-)</p>
<p>limabeans, fretting is totally understandable, and is I think one reason your thread seems to have touched a nerve with the CC moms. We all worry about this. </p>
<p>I’m glad for the happy ending. :)</p>
<p>My mom wouldn’t be surprised if she went a day without hearing from me-- but if she initiated contact by calling, emailing, and SHOWING UP and I was still nowhere to be found, that would probably be a bit much for her, and I think understandably so. Though I think it depends on the kid, I am constantly online or within reach of my phone so it would be pretty weird for me to be MIA if somebody takes the initiative to come find me. </p>
<p>My mom could check my facebook if need be and probably get a good indication if I am still alive, but she’d have to go through my sisters to see it and she’d never think of it. Maybe after this I’ll tip off my sisters.</p>
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<p>Same here…</p>
<p>I am so glad that limabean’s son is safe! Next year when I drop off S1 for college, I will remember to get the cell #'s of his roommate and the RA. My son NEVER answers or listens to his voicemail, but he does read his texts.</p>
<p>thumper1, you’re right. My DS2 is in a different time zone and I don’t have the same need to get in touch with him nearly so much. Maybe 1-3x a week. I guess the difference is that when I do call him, he answers the phone immediately. (He loves his iPhone) If I send him an email, he replies. I can even check on him via fb, although I don’t. But it occured to me that I get none of that immediacy with my DS1 and I was at a loss about what to do next.</p>
<p>“I’m glad Lima’s son is ok…but as I read this thread, I wondered if I am the only parent who doesn’t EXPECT to hear from my kids on a daily basis.”</p>
<p>Nope. I don’t expect anything I can describe, but I kind of know when somethings different. I expect that was what I was reacting to with the OP; the ominous sense that she/he felt something was different. I sometimes don’t hear from D for a week or more, but now I use texting to send an emoticon now and then, and she eventually responds in turn.</p>
<p>Yes, shrinkrap-that’s what I thought too. The op felt something was different, and that is an awful, ominous feeling. I have an aspergers kid too—though he is 2500 miles away and we only talk to him once or twice a week, which seems to work for him. I thank God that though he almost never, ever calls or emails us-only emails when responding to a specific question–that he always answers his phone. I would probably be in a panic too if he didn’t answer.</p>
<p>Agree with posts that say the change in routine is what shakes us up.</p>
<p>There is no correct contact pattern, just what becomes the norm. </p>
<p>When my daughter was moving in to her room as a freshman, I casually asked her suitemates for their cell phone numbers (after a couple of days of getting to know each other as I hauled stuff up the stairs :)) They gave them up happily, and I never used them except to invite them to dinner with us. But I knew I could have, if I’d ever needed to. D knew I had the numbers and was fine with that. </p>
<p>We live across the country. Sometimes she goes away for weekends with friends to nearby cities, or their homes. I usually get a cell number for the friend. She doesn’t complain, and I don’t restrict adventures. I do hold my breath a lot, though. To those who think this is over protective- I would stop if I could, but I have to sleep at night!</p>