MIT Admissions Dean warns About College Entrance Stress

Parents Forum
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<p>


Actually, I know you won't believe it, but I tried to talk my son out of signing up for AP English because I thought the work load would be too much. My son is dyslexic and I couldn't figure out why in the world he would want to be in a class where he was required to write essays constantly. It never occured to me that my son would be going anywhere other than an in state public until we got the surprisingly good results of his SATs (which he sat for only once).</p>

<p>My daughter graduated high school with only the very minimal number of math & science classes to get a diploma, because of the interruption of her semester abroad in junior year - which also eliminated the opportunity to take APUSH or AP English in 11th grade. My d. in fact has spent her whole life disregarding the advice and warnings of adults who insisted that she had to participate in whatever they thought was important in order to qualify for whatever they placed importance on in later years. </p>

<p>She was a talented gymnast but quit at around age 8 as soon as she was good enough for competition... because she didn't think it would be fun any more if she had to compete or work out with the kids on the team. (And that was at a gym run by the local community center -- definitely not the elite training ground for future olympic champions). </p>

<p>I admit I was frustrated -- it seemed that my d. would involve herself in various activities, work or train very hard and diligently, and then quit or back off just as soon as she was at the skill level that might bring recognition. I wondered whether she was afraid of success... or failure. But I wasn't thinking about college, and I let my d. make her own choices. It was only a few months ago that I mentioned to my d. my perception of her tendency to drop things just at the point when she was getting very good at whatever she dropped....and she was stunned. It had never occured to her --- I think in her eyes, she had simply reached the goal of being as good as she needed to be and then wanted to go off and learn or do something else. </p>

<p>I'm not saying that the kids never did anything for the sake of college admissions, though with my son I can't honestly think of what he did other than filling out and returning the Who's Who form because, at the time, he thought it meant something. I'm pretty sure that the year my d. spent as a member of CSF was done entirely because she thought it would look good for colleges. And my son wrote on his college apps that he was in a "multicultural club" that I had never heard of, which turned out to simply be a title a group of kids who regularly ate lunch together gave themselves. (They were a motley group, so I suppose the designation was true). But this isn't the stuff that the rat race is made of.</p>

<p>I am not trying to put my childrearing decisions above others... I simply had other things to worry about. As a single parent, it was hard enough for me to juggle my work obligations to chauffeur my daughter around to the various activities she wanted to attend, so I tended to place limits, such as the family "rule" I invented that at least one day & evening per week had to be left open for unstructured time with family or for socializing with friends. </p>

<p>You wrote, As long as there are parents willing to go to great lengths, if I don't play the game at least a little my child will be denied certain opportunities. I'm sure that's true. The difference is that I was willing to let my d. be denied those "opportunities". (My son wasn't an issue - he refused to participate in any sort of organized activities and was a late bloomer who struggled in elementary school, so the whole my-son-the-A-student took me wholly by surprise when he hit the 10th grade. So my d. was really the only one who faced that sort of pressure in the early years.) </p>

<p>I put "opportunities" in quotes because in the end, my kids had plenty of opportunities -- they just found their own, off the beaten path. The foreign exchange thing that they both opted for is wide open -- the outfits like AFS & YFU pretty much accept any student who signs up who meets their basic criteria. In the early years, when other parents were trying to figure out the "best" private schools, I was trying to figure out the least objectionable public. Again, it simply didn't occur to me that my kids needed to be on an elite track. And my life philosophy is pretty much along the lines that the best "opportunities" are those that no one else wants or notices -- so to me the fact that every kid (or their parents) are going after X is a pretty good reason to eshew the desire for X. </p>

<p>But this is California. A bright kid has to work pretty hard at messing up to not at least qualify for the CSU's... so the parents with ambitions of glory for their kids really are a discrete minority.</p>

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<p>To TheGFG: On another note entirely, way back in post #231, you asked
[quote]
How did you parents get to read the teacher recommendations? Did the teachers just offer to show your student what they had written, since they had nothing to hide?

[/quote]
The answer is yes. That's pretty much how it was done - the teachers gave the kids copies of the letters, no big deal. My son just got the letters, but my d. even got the forms that the teachers filled out and the g.c. rec. and forms. In fact, she was quite upset about the way one teacher ranked her "creativity" on the Brown app, which happened to inconsistent with what the same teacher reported on the common app.... but hey, that's the breaks. And no, the teachers didn't mark "best of my career" for every quality -- they seemed to rank her strongest in the areas where her strengths are most apparent. </p>

<p>The worst offense was the teacher who insisted on doing a separate, personalized letter for each college, and so told Boston University what a wonderful candidate my d. would be for Boston College (aargh!)... but then that's the same teacher who raved about how wonderful my daughter was and probably paved the way to admission for the colleges where she managed to get the name right. </p>

<p>No, we didn't threaten to sue the teachers for anything they said nor did and the recs weren't perfect. I remember stressing because one teacher said my d. was very "bright"..... and is "bright" one of those code-words that Curmudgeon mentioned that is secret-code for "not brilliant". But I never had any contact whatsoever with the teachers who wrote the recs, and I don't think my d. said anything to them about the recs other than "thank you." In any case, other than for elite colleges, I think too many superlatives in a recommendation ring false... much better for the teacher to send something off that gives the sense he is talking about a human teenager that he really knows. </p>

<p>I am glad we had the opportunity to see those letters simply because it was nice for me as a parent to see what the teachers thought of my kid, and especially for my daughter I think knowing what was in the letters helped shape the rest of the application. Basically, she knew what information did NOT have to be included in her own submission because a teacher rec was covering the same ground. My d. had some major glitches on her record that we knew needed to be explained... fortunately the g.c. did about 80% of the explaining that needed to be done -- so we were able to know that my d. did NOT have to write about why the total number of core academic courses available at her arts high school was limited, or which AP courses were not offered.</p>

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<p>TheGFG. I feel your pain. ;)</p>

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<p>Child #1 is gifted and self-motivated. Truthfully, as far as the overarching framework of his short life is concerned, he has done what he has done because he wanted to do it. Anyway, he wasn't the sort I could have forced-fed, since he was always very certain of what he liked and what he didn't. So I suppose I could describe my intellectually curious child the same way you all describe yours if I stopped right there.</p>

<p>But it is also true that one of the things S wanted to do was attend a top university full of very bright and interesting peers. Hence he set for himself the academic goals which he thought would propel him toward that end. These goals included doing well on SAT's, getting good grades, and taking a challenging enough curriculum so that he wouldn't be precluded from getting into the best colleges should he choose to attend them. Having set those goals does not diminish the fact that he thrives on learning. Still, I would be lying if I said that in the daily grind of the pursuit of his goals he was always doing exactly what he "wanted". He enjoyed gaining knowledge, but he didn't WANT to have to do homework until 3 AM many nights. He wanted to sleep. He was eager to learn physics, but likely wouldn't have chosen on his own to spend quite so many hours over the summer completing the gragantuan, required summer packet of problems rather than watch the World Cup on TV. He sought to become a skilled writer, but I doubt he was completely happy about taking honors and AP English every single year because those classes entailed a heavy and often tedious workload. He wanted to achieve a high GPA, but I'm sure when he turned down party invitations or poker games because he had too much homework, he would have actually preferred to be playing cards instead of writing his hundredth essay for that month.</p>

<p>Maybe when you speak of your children you are referring to the self-motivated starting point for their decisions regarding courses and activities, whereas I'm focussing on the often sacrificial and difficult process that those decisions may entail. Success and advanced study are linked with hard work. Sometimes work isn't fun and we don't feel like doing it, but there is no short cut. There never has been.</p>

<p>However, what distinguishes the environment that today's kids inhabit is the greatly enhanced definition of success in high school. Here is where our educational institutions bear responsibility. The bar is much higher than it was, and thus the amount of intense work required to reach the bar is so much greater. On top of that, now there is increased competition for all the building blocks of success. We do our kids a disservice by perpetuating the myth that if a student is "brilliant" enough, success will fall upon him like morning dew as he tiptoes blissfully through the garden of his interests and passions, unencumbered by worldly demands (or the expectations of adcoms). We have placed on a pedestal the child who can get A's in his sleep with minimal effort, the one that never worries about grades. Parents love to say that their children get A's without studying, thinking that's the hallmark of a truly smart person. How we adore the casual star. I just think that's an unfortunate illusion.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
I think travel soccer teams and music lessons are fantastic. That's not the point. The problem is that if a kid waits until age 11 to decide he'd like to play soccer at school, he's out of luck. That freedom to try a multitude of hobbies and sports and then chose one is essentially gone. Dabbling is a thing of the past. So many activities are intense and serious and competitive from an early age. Thus getting a few good EC's for those college applications can be rather daunting.

[/quote]

TheGFG,</p>

<p>What you describe applies to the public schools in our town where I also attended school as a child. Back then, I don't recall any award-winning kids other than NMFs and a rare sports champion or team. Everyone's resume looked remarkably alike: Student council, a sport or two, a foreign language club, and maybe band, the school paper, or the National Honor Society. Because we live in a fairly affluent community, there were always several students who attended HYPS but primarily because they were legacies who could afford to go.</p>

<p>That is not the case today. Parents start work on their kid's resumes in grade school. I've seen kids with 8-10 page single-spaced resumes sent in with college applications, and it's rarely because the kids were committed to the activities. Extracurricular activities and clubs are so sought-after that only the best need apply. In our town, the solution is private school because virtually every private school student is assured of participating in the activity of his/her choice. It's daunting to be a kid in our town's public high schools and, while some private schools have more rigorous academics, it's far less stressful to attend a private school. Our son's private school was an academically rigorous school, and he had to study every night. Our son is bright (and by that I mean not brilliant) and he has to study hard in college to succeed in his courses.</p>

<p>By the way, we never saw a single teacher recommendation although I suspect the teachers would have shared them with us had we asked. We never even thought to ask. In addition, our son's sole ECs were honorary societies, a sport that he had played since first grade, and a Latin exam competition he was forced to participate in by his Latin teacher. The private school he attended offered an SAT prep session during class but he hated it and felt it hurt his performance. For him, the best SAT preparation was a good night's sleep the night before the test. </p>

<p>After reading CC for a year (or more, who's counting?), I've decided we live in an underrepresented area where NMF status is enough to open doors. Thus, our experience probably doesn't apply to others but I'm eternally grateful that we escaped the rat race that college admissions have become for many.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
That is not the case today. Parents start work on their kid's resumes in grade school. I've seen kids with 8-10 page single-spaced resumes sent in with college applications

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I'm not picking on you but I simply cannot believe that parents capable of perfect logical thinking can't swing their attention to something that is practically hitting them in the face. WE'RE ON A COLLEGE FORUM, for god's sake, if these people (these "grade-grubbing", "resume-padding", "overbearing" monster-parents) were anywhere they'd be HERE, inquiring about their kids' chances and spreading their awful, slimy influence over our pristine boards. But who IS here, instead? Parents who claim not to care a smudge about their children getting into college. Either you guys are knee-deep in denial or you're overreacting like madmen.</p>

<p>I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and conclude that these misguided parents of doom are so far in the minority that in physics, we'd just use two less-than signs and call them negligible.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
Either you guys are knee-deep in denial or you're overreacting like madmen.

[/quote]
Actually, I came here 5 years ago because I was lonely when my son went off to college and wanted some help with that adjustment, and I stuck around for awhile, answering occasional questions about my son's college or financial aid issues, then drifted away, then came back last year at about the time that my d was first thinking of college... and here I am still... lonely, wishing the kid would call more often. See the thread "'We miss him, Maybe he doesn't miss us. ?"</p>

<p>Did I get pretty involved in the college app process? Yes -- in the spring of junior year for my daughter, in the fall of senior year for my son. Did I give it much thought before then? No. I always thought that the college selection process was something to be thought about late in junior year when the GPA is clear and test scores are in -- then you try to develop a list to match the kids interests and "stats", whatever they are. The first college books I bought for my son were geared to B & C students -- even though at that time we knew he had great test scores and grades -- simply because they seemed like better books in terms of providing guidance in how to choose a college. (Example: Loren Pope's Colleges That Change Lives) </p>

<p>I didn't even venture into the college-specific threads on this board until my daughter had already been accepted. Personally, I would feel it too nervewracking and depressing to participate to see all the "chances?" threads from kids with apparently better stats and EC lists than my own. Easier not to know. I've got close to 3,000 posts on the board, but not onces did I ask my d's "chances" anywhere, nor ask for anyone's advice about what activity or course choice would "look better" for college. </p>

<p>There is a large contingent of parents here who are far more concerned about financial aid than where their kids end up. I happen to be one of those. That's a biggie. I'll bet a third of my posts are concerning one sort of gripe or another about money/financial aid issues. </p>

<p>What I don't see here is all that many parents who only have middle school aged kids -- I would think that if we parents were obsessed with building resumes or EC's, we'd show up sooner, at a time when we could influence things more. A few show up to ask about their kid's 9th grade schedules, or whether they should opt for private or public schoool, but for the most part the helicoptering or micro-managing or whatever it is we are supposed to be doing seems to start in 11th grade when it suddenly hits us that the time is nigh and we think we ought to plan some sort of college road trip for the summer. If anything, that's evidence of our cluelessness --- not long term preoccupation or planning.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
My biologist dh, who didn't learn to cook until grad school, said recipes were just like chemistry protocols.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>They are.</p>

<p>I set a lab on fire in grad school. I have been equally successful with cooking, which is why our family is practically supporting several takeout places in our neighborhood.</p>

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<p>It is a bit odd that many of us parents on this forum have already sent our last kids off to college. It appears that many of you are like me. We have at least one exceptional, very self-motivated child. Kids like these can be a real challenge for a parent. We did not push them to do more or to prepare for college. We just tried to keep up and help to provide the opportunities they craved. My D was always busy with "EC's." For a long time she did sports on the weekend and almost every night of the week. Then it was sports and music and finally almost entirely music - about 20 hours/week. Of course, she also did the APs and had an extended school day with classes before and after normal hours. At the end of junior year, we toured a few colleges. Otherwise, I don't think she gave any thought to colleges. Even the SATs were a challenge. She never had much interest in taking tests so we finally convinced her to do some preparation. That didn't work well. She took the SATs once, got scores that were way short of her potential and would not even consider taking them again. By senior year she was so busy that college selection and applications became a real problem. It was only at that point that we all realized how difficult it was going to be to make good selections and gain admission.</p>

<p>Now that my D is a sophomore in college not much has changed. She is still way overextended. I guess she knows what she is doing. She told us she is going to audit a 2 hour course in case college becomes too hectic. She is taking 24 semester hours not counting the extra 2 hours and she is a bit concerned because two of the math and science courses have reputations as being weed out courses. I don't understand how the college even lets students overextend to that degree. I guess there is not much advising. Maybe the advisors are like we were. They advise and then just get out of the way. </p>

<p>I have read a few "chances" threads. Most are amusing. Kids are trying to decide if padding another 100 hours of community service will look good. It took 3 pages single spaced to list out my D's awards, accomplishments and activities. Very little of that made it on to the college apps. Even so I think adcoms can often identify those who are truly exceptional and those who are faking it. I think it is a positive change when colleges look beyond the statistics and try to assess the personal qualities of the applicants.</p>

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<p>DRJ4, thanks for weighing in and bringing up the private school issue. Many parents who send their children to one of the multitude of private schools in our area claim to do so because they thought their child would have gotten "lost in the big high school." They openly admit that their child has opportunities for involvement and leadership in private school that they never would have had at public school due to the sheer numbers of students and competition. There, their S or D might be able to be on the Academic Team, whereas in Public High they wouldn't have been nearly good enough. So, like where DJR lives, private school here is one way to relieve some pressure, most commonly for the above average but not exceptional student who parents have means and aspirations.</p>

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<p>It's the opposite in my town. If a child needs or seeks any challenge, academically or athletically, he has to go private or parochial.</p>

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<p>Wow, I can't believe I made it to the end of this thread.</p>

<p>My S, a senior, has visited 20 small LACs ranging in selectivity from 16% to 94%. We attended all 20 info sessions and in most, if not all, we were told that successful applicants needed to take the most challenging courses available to them in math, science, social studies and English. S's HS has no honors classes, just a handful of APs.</p>

<p>So, yes, he did feel like he had to take some AP classes, even in least favorite subjects, to be competitive at the schools he preferred. He's even taking an AP Calc course taught by the same teacher who failed to teach him pre-calc last year (S said he taught himself from textbook) because she is the only one teaching it this year. Most of the APs, though, have been a joy to him because of the challenging curriculum and the high quality of the teaching. Teachers in our area are seriously underpaid and I feel lucky we have as many good ones as we do.</p>

<p>I feel fortunate we don't live in such a pressure cooker area as some posters. I basically feel that S has done his best without killing himself, had some fun along the way and any of the 10 lucky colleges on his final list that don't accept him probably wouldn't be a good match for him anyway. He's taken ACT, SAT I and two SAT IIs, doesn't plan to retake anything. I'm helping in little secretarial ways and will probably proofread his essays.</p>

<p>I think most of us seem to have internally motivated kids who just need a bit of exposure to opportunities and some car rides to get where they need to go, which isn't always Harvard or MIT. Great schools though they are, I don't think they're a good match for everyone and I'm glad my son hasn't set his heart on any one highly selective college.</p>

<p>I have seen instances of parents pushing kids toward impossible goals (Princeton for an average B student, for example) and that can be heartbreaking. If a student sets a personal goal, that's one thing. Parents setting an Ivy League goal for a kid is another thing entirely. If you don't judge your child's worth by what college he/she gets into, it shouldn't matter that much what MIT or Harvard are looking for IMHO.</p>

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<p>Not that anyone asked or cares, but my freshman D has not been to bed before 1 AM any school night since the first full week of classes. Last night she went to bed at 1 and woke up at 5:15 to finish the homework that remained. Yes she's still adjusting to high school level work so her efficiency should eventually improve, and yes her classes are difficult ones. Still, these are the courses into which she was placed by the school--it's not as though we parents said "You must take all honors classes" and so she did. She has a lot of company in that track as far as other freshmen. In fact, she was actually assigned AP Physics I, but we refused to accept that placement. So she dropped down a notch to mere Honors Physics. Note that D is a bright girl, but not an exceptional student, especially not in math. However, her textbook is entitled "College Physics." Is there something wrong with this picture? She's in ninth grade and hasn't had high school physics yet! DH, an engineer, says he learned much of what is in that text book in college, and DS has seen that very text in his college bookstore.</p>

<p>So, this isn't happening everywhere?</p>

<p>PS: She has no study hall (that is by choice, since she's doing an EC instead), and no Mickey Mouse elective either. The recommended elective for those in her track is chemistry, biology, or a second math class.</p>

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<p>GFG. Yes. My son is so tired he falls asleep in the car going to school, coming back from school, on his way to trumpet lessons, on his way back from trumpet lessons..ALL of his texts are college texts (and his math book is horrible...they are using it for the second year in a row...it's out of print now for very good reason). My husband also says he learned a lot of what my son is learning in high school in college and med school. I looked at his APUSH essay topics (ok, I sneaked a peek online...curiousity got the better of me). They are the stuff of graduate school essays. Last year his chemistry class covered organic chemistry in a week (wheeeee!)<br>
I care. I care a lot. Even my eighth grader is under a lot of stress...he has a mountain of homework assigned by teachers who totally lack compassion (read have no kids...don't get it). He is twelve and hasn't been to bed before 11 since school started. Last night, he said he was so tired he couldn't focus and got up at 6 to finish. He was in a horrible mood as he left for school. I predict that this afternoon, I'll have two snoozing boys in the car on the ride home from school.<br>
It's nuts.</p>

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<p>TheGFG, is your daughter in some kind of special track?</p>

<p>I ask because my daughter, who was in a special track (leading up to the IB curriculum in 11th and 12th grades) did indeed have heavy homework and did use college textbooks in some 9th grade classes, just as you describe. But my son, who was taking ordinary honors classes, rarely did more than two hours of homework a night and didn't use college textbooks in any of his courses until 11th grade.</p>

<p>What you describe seems odd for ordinary bright kids.</p>

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<p>GFG, your experience replicates ours, both with regard to the sleep deprivation department and the textbook department. The joke in our household is that it is a constant battle to get D#2 to bed earlier and do LESS homework, and once in awhile to just "let it go" for the sake of sleep & sanity.</p>

<p>Cost of textbooks for each D at this demanding school has in each semester's case outpaced what D#1 is paying at upper-level Ivy for texts, & what was quoted last year as the average costs for books per semester at UC Berkeley. And yes, at our h.s. all the math & science texts (even non-Honors) are college texts. That has recently expanded to included history texts.</p>

<p>College panels often return home to h.s. alma mater & unanimously say that high school was harder than their demanding colleges. Now, part of that is greater "activities" at h.s., yes., & less control of one's schedule (more commitments, more mandated school activities & assembles, too), & often a commute -- usually not true at a 4-yr. college. However, all in all, I agree that "something is wrong with this picture."</p>

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<p>GTG,</p>

<p>This seems like way too much for a freshman -- and yet I can see the reasoning behind it. If you want to get into the top schools, you have to be able to say you took the most demanding courses available. Luckily for my freshman daughter, we've made all our mistakes with her older (now a senior) brother. I'm not pushing her to be on an Ivy league track, I'm not having her obsess about her classes or grades. It's been hard to change -- when I saw that the school now has an Honors Bio class for 9th grade, I wanted her to take it. But I let it go, and she's in regular Bio. There are many good colleges out there and she'll end up in whichever one is right for her. With her brother, I spent his entire life expecting he'd go to Harvard -- only to discover that by the time he was ready to graduate high school there'd be so much competition that all the years of work, getting great grades, taking the hardest classes, would be for naught (not to mention that when he finally took his college tour, he discovered he didn't even like Harvard and preferred Yale -- so much for my brainwashing efforts!). On the plus side, he's had a wonderful education at one of the top schools in the country and has heard repeatedly that after high school ANY college is easier!</p>

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<p>Thank you so much for your honesty, symphonymom and epiphany. I was beginning to doubt my grasp on reality.</p>

<p>Marian, I wouldn't say it's all that special of a track since so many kids are on it. Furthermore, there is a small group of kids who are tracked even higher. Those children take Algebra 2 and Honors or AP Physics in 7th or 8th grade (they're bussed to the high school). So as sophomores they're taking AP Calc. But, no, my D's schedule is not what average kids do either. Basically, it all starts back in 5th and 6th grade when math tracking starts. Based on testing, the most able group of kids takes Honors Algebra in 7th, Honors Geometry in 8th, and Honors Algebra 2 in 9th. Their science tracking is linked to their math tracking, such that all the kids with that math sequence are placed into physics as 9th graders--AP Physics if the middle school math grades were A's, Honors Physics if the grades were A-, and so on downward.</p>

<p>Leaving the track is possible, but heavily discouraged. The guidance mantra is that it's easier to drop down than move up, so when in doubt they place higher to start off. But, dropping down isn't as easy at the GCs like to say it is. Usually, counselors force students to wait a long as possible before making that decision, and so often by the time they do their GPA is already marred. Secondly, by dropping down the child can unfairly earn a reputation for being lazy or lacking intellectual curiosity. The reasoning is that the school claims that these placements are made carefully based on a lot of data including school assessments and achievement testing, as well as teacher recommendation. So, if the child is dropping down, it is usually a matter of willingness to work not aptitude. A friend's S dropped down in several subjects and thereafter teachers in those subjects kept commenting that S was lazy and should be in a higher level course. Talk about anxiety over teacher recs, my friend is dying!</p>

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<p>The GFG. No, this would not be normal is this town. My 9th grade D is in all honors classes (other than Span 2 and art, not tracked courses). Her physics course is elementary (little real math), and the geometry class is taking its time revving up. I'm shocked at how little reading she is doing for English class (she reads a lot on her own). The government class (not AP) actually seems to be requiring more of her than the others. She gets everything done in a couple of hours or so, including a study hall that she made room for in her schedule by taking a required health course online over the summer. I'm happy she has time for her friends, riding lessons and piano and guitar (both of which are purely for personal pleasure; no contests, no titles.) Oh, and 90 minutes a week volunteering at a hospital, NOT done for resume padding.</p>

<p>BUT our schools do not send a lot of kids to big name colleges. Some of these 9th graders will get a lot busier next year if they decide to do AP courses, and a few of them will amass records that get them a shot at the big time. Reading cc, I am dismayed at the pressure a lot of schools and parents are putting on their kids to get into some specific college or class of college. I think it was you who expressed disbelief that some kids go about their life without keeping college plans in the back of their minds at all times. It is pretty common here, even for kids who are now thinking they have good enough records to shoot for really selective schools. Maybe none of them will make it, but I think some will. If they don't, I don't know a single kid or parent who will consider it a big deal. It is obviously a very different culture here. I used to shake my head about that, but after reading cc for a few weeks, I now applaud it.</p>

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<p>This month's Atlantic Monthly--no pun intended--contains a remarkable article by Sandra Tsing-Loh in which describes the elite, utopian island of urban private education.</p>

<p>The introduction is here</p>

<p><a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200609u/tsingloh-interview%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200609u/tsingloh-interview&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>
[quote]
Madeline had been turned away after failing an exam that asked her to identify her favorite ice cream (mango) and list a few animals (lion, tiger, hippopotamus). Her answers had displeased the school administrators, who determined that the little girl was not developmentally ready for kindergarten. At that moment, Loh wrote in the June 2005 Atlantic, “I saw the error of my relaxed, irreverent ways…. If her mother had been paying any attention, I thought, my daughter would not be sitting alone come September with no kindergarten to go to, One Child Left Behind.”

[/quote]
</p>

<p>The "real" article is here:
<a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/prem/200610/tsing-loh%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/prem/200610/tsing-loh&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>This couple of quotations sets the tone:

[quote]
Winning admission to a coveted college is so do-or-die that today’s über-protective parents leave nothing to chance—which is to say, nothing to the bumbling students themselves. For our most obsessively college-minded parents, it seems foolhardy to allow high-school seniors to track the progress of their own applications, to solicit their own letters of recommendation, even to write their own autobiographical essays about why they want to go to college. At a certain point, one might ask who is actually hoping to pull on that crimson sweatshirt.</p>

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<p>Still, a deep river of must-have school mania runs through the chattering classes. There is, of course, the parental adrenalin rush at suburban cocktail parties that comes from announcing one’s son or daughter as an Ivy Leaguer. But even at the preschool level, parents now fight to be the last family in, frenetic as the eels in that horse’s head in Volker Schlöndorff’sTin Drum. Why? Because getting into that $25,000-a-year preschool is now seen as a toddler’s de rigueur first step down the yellow brick road that winds from preschool to private school to Harvard to Goldman Sachs.</p>

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<p>For many [parents], the school was the center and pinnacle of their own lives. One mother told me that upon arriving at the school, when her son was one year old, her husband cried because he felt they had “wasted a year of our baby’s life.” </p>

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<p>Upon being tossed by Hunsford into the death of the soul that is the waiting pool, Katie polishes off an entire bottle of Grey Goose and curses: </p>

<p>The irony. I wasn’t even going to go through this process. And then I saw Hunsford and I wanted it. I gave up everything for one year, devoted my entire life to getting us into Huns<em>ford. That became my job. Miles had his job. His job is to bring in the money. My job was to get us into Hunsford. And you know what? I failed. I </em>*ing failed. I’m a failure. Today I got fired from my job.”

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<p>Unfortunately, the article is viewable only by Atlantic subscribers. However, coupled with the series of articles in each November issue, the price of admission is right. Again, no pun intended.</p>

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