<p>So, August 25th is first move-in day for me, round 2. I'm a transfer from VT to UVA, so moving into UVA will be another brand new experience, even though i'm a second year. None of my family has ever been to UVA, minus my mom who I drove through C'ville with once on the way back to school. Our only stop was at McDonalds because I hadn't eaten in 24 hours (it was 4/17 when we were coming home for the week off..) and we both decided on something good and greasy.</p>
<p>Anyways, here's my problem: My mom's birthday happens to be that same day (she's turning 50 too), so my dad is pressuring me to move in Sunday because we're throwing a surprise b-day party for her. My older sister (graduated out of college) is helping, and we originally planned to do it Friday night, I'd move in Saturday, do a birthday-lunch with my mom, and then she/dad/younger brother would do the birthday-dinner that night without me (I missed her/brother's bday last year as well, so it's nothing new).
Now, my dad's saying he wants to do the party Saturday night, move me in Sunday, etc. I told my mom his plan this morning, and she's upset because she knows it's a big deal for me and she really wants to go out to a nice lunch with me before she goes off and cries about me being gone again. Plus, I have to be in transfer meetings/orientations Sunday at noon, and will only have a one hour break after that until 7 that night.
So, not only am I stuck between their conflicting views, but now my mom is saying "well, maybe I'll just move you in and leave the boys behind" (we've gotten really close and really enjoy our alone time together). My dad's kind of controlling and gets upset when big plans like this are all messed up, so I have a feeling it will be a fight at some point.</p>
<p>Anyways, here's my question: how do I explain to my father that I want to move in Aug 25th, and that she's ok with it, all while trying to make it clear that I don't want move-in day to be a total, unhappy disaster for us all (seeming it's her birthday and my first day)? And if my mom's serious about moving me in by herself, how do I address the fact that dad/brother may never see my college for awhile, seeming she's the only one coming for parent weekend most likely (brother plays football, dad helps coach)?</p>
<p>How the hell is Charlottesville on route between Northern Virginia and Blacksburg?</p>
<p>Me thinks either your definition of "Northern Virginia" is somewhat different than reality's or you can't read a map.</p>
<p>Tell your Mom it's not really that important, and then do what your Dad wants. It seems like this would make everyone the happiest (especially once your Mom realizes about the the party being the reason for the change). You want your parents to be happy.</p>
<p>Um, take I-81 to I-64 to Rt 29 to Rt 66. It's almost the exact same distance as taking 81 all the way to 66, trust me. I only drove that route 10 times.</p>
<p>And it is kind of important i'm there on the 25th. Plus, Sunday will be terrible because they probably wouldn't get there until 10 or 11, and I have to be in a building, seated, at 11:30 (not noon, I just checked...oops). There's no way to move in my stuff in under an hour, and everyone will be cranky because they'll be hauling everything in and I won't be there to help direct.</p>
<p>If it's only two hours, that's easy... move in Friday night, go back home, party up a storm Saturday (all day Saturday), and get up early Sunday AM and go back to school.</p>
<p>Shoebox said move in day was Saturday, so I would assume she can not move in Friday.</p>
<p>I would not want my daughter to move in after everyone else especially as a transfer; move in day is prime bonding time with roomates and hallmates. If the birthday can be celebrated on Friday, that would be my choice. </p>
<p>You said the party was a surprise, so why does your mother think your dad wants you to move in on Sunday?</p>
<p>I'd have an immediate family only private dinner sometime the week before and bag the surprise party. I'd feel differently about a wedding or a funeral or maybe the 100th birthday party of Great-Aunt Hattie (who may never reach 101).</p>
<p>Leave early on Saturday morning. Plan to be one of the first to check in...say at 9. Just drop the stuff off, and come back home. Then go back Sunday...go to your mid day meeting and have your parents and sister meet you Sunday later in the day (when your meetings are over) to help you get settled and go out to dinner.</p>
<p>Hmmm... it's the MOM's birthday, and here is what MOM wants:
[quote]
mom is saying "well, maybe I'll just move you in and leave the boys behind" (we've gotten really close and really enjoy our alone time together)
[/quote]
So it seems to me that the best birthday present of all would be for Mom to have her way -- no boys, alone time one-on-one with her daughter. </p>
<p>Don't you just hate it when you tell people what you really want for your birthday and they still insist on doing something else?</p>
<p>I agree with Marian, calmom, and the other posters who advise moving in at the same time as the other students. This is an important time for you, and your Mom knows it. Your Dad is old enough to understand that the best-laid plans sometimes have to be changed.</p>
<p>It's hard to stand up to a difficult parent. If you don't do it now (respectfully, of course), you'll eventually have to, or else pay the price of tiptoeing around your Dad forever.</p>
<p>The days preceding move-in are often fraught with drama, so don't hesitate on that account. If the party wasn't the issue, something else inevitably would be!</p>
<p>I think your dad is being unfair and selfish. You should move in on Saturday with everyone else. Why don't you and your mom both confront your dad saying that you'd both like the move to take place on Saturday with the family there as all of the orientation stuff for students and families take place then.</p>
<p>Ahh, thanks to everyone :)
First, I can't move in Friday because a) I have to have a valid reason for the housing dept b) it's going to be hard for my parents to take off work because we will have just gotten back from a 9-day vacation the monday prior to move-in day
And, Sunday is a hassle because I have obligations 11:30-4, then ~5:30-8.</p>
<p>My mom and I were talking tonight and she's bent on taking me down Saturday, as I think it's a great present to her to see me off well and happy (she knows i'm superrr excited for UVA). It's just convincing dad that it's a good idea...My sister suggested that maybe go out as a family Friday, then move me in Saturday, and then she'll arrange for the surprise party to be that night and I'll miss it. But dad, ofcourse, isn't happy with that plan.</p>
<p>The best present for your mom is to do what she likes best, not what your dad prefers. Someone should tell your dad of your mom's preference, presenting it as hers, not yours.</p>
<p>Your Dad seems to be putting more emphasis on HIS plans than on your and your Mom's wishes. She doesn't seem to mind, so try to break it to him nicely and move in on the 25th with Mom's blessing. And why does her birthday have to be celebrated on that actual date? Just switch the party to another day.</p>
<p>dad needs to get over himself and do the party a week before, as a mom, I would want my kid to be happy and wouldnt care one bit what day I had a party</p>
<p>I think you should postpone your move-in day until Sunday. Even though you are attending a new school, moving in is basically going to be very similar to what it was when you moved into VT. It's your mom's 50th birthday and I don't think she would really want to spend the day moving boxes.</p>