<p>In my family, we were fortunate because one parent worked at a private university with excellent tuition waiver benefits and which had an excellent exchange agreement with other universities that waived tuition for dependents at my parent's university. I only mention this because not many people know that employees get these benefits at some universities. So, three siblings received a private university education for the price of one.</p>
<p>We have a freshman in college and a junior in HS. From the beginning, we'd told them they could go wherever their hard work and effort took them, but that they would need to have skin in the game, too -- to the tune of Stafford loans, summer jobs and 10 hours/week during the school year in college.</p>
<p>S1 accumulated a nice pile of merit $$ along the way, including a totally free ride to the flagship (with external scholarship money that he could defer to grad school). Had he taken the full ride, our savings would have covered the full four years for S2 at the flagship (it's been sitting in a money market fund for years, so no losses) and we would be debt-free for college for both kids. Sigh!</p>
<p>However...S1 also got a couple of extraordinary acceptances which met his needs in ways the flagship couldn't. One of them gave a partial merit award. He says it didn't factor into his final decision, but S1 is acutely aware we could have pushed the flagship a lot harder and not given him options. This year, he is paying slightly over 50% of his COA as he uses the external scholarships; in future years, he'll be paying a little over 40%, which puts our cost towards the lower end of OOS COA. This is less money than we expected to spend. S1 has taken the most of his opportunity and is accomplishing everything he hoped. He knows grad school is on him, but he's in a field where funding is relatively generous.</p>
<p>S2 is looking at LACs and is not as likely to be in the running for serious merit $$. I feel strongly that we should not limit his options. It's hard enough being the younger brother to S1, and S2 has NEVER complained -- he is S1's biggest fan. H has a harder time with the idea of paying potentially more for S2 than S1. I don't think we can change the rules at this stage of the game. If S2 gets into these schools, then we need to honor our obligation. To me, making the school happen is our way of reaffirming our faith in S2 and his abilities. Should S2 choose the flagship (and there are some reasons why it could be a good choice for him), then we could help with a semester overseas, which is important to his career plans, or a used car. These "incentives" hold no value to S1. S2 wants a full, balanced life, and I could see him making those calculations.</p>
<p>I gulp at the prospect of two years with both in college, but we think we can limit college borrowing on our end to a portion of expenses for just those two years, assuming that the EFC caculators are in the ballpark and we will get some FA with both in school.</p>
<p>If there was one absolute consideration re: the college decision process, it was that we did not allow any ED apps. We had to know how the $$ would shake out. I hope this doesn't burn S2 -- ED could be useful for him. Once we get SAT scores and see how second semester pans out, we'll probably do the Stats Eval thing with Dave Barry and get some advice. If S2 has a clear choice and EA didn't work out as well as we hoped, perhaps ED II would be an option.</p>
<p>My parents are glad that I'm attending a state college because my sister's private college is very expensive. Financial aid takes care of what would have been $1,500 a semester and turns it into approximately $850 for my state school.
I wasn't private college material anyway and my sister definitely is, so there was no argument there. I only applied to the CUNY and SUNY schools for this reason.
The bright side to my sister's expensive tuition is how impressed everyone is with the school. They kind of wish she transferred to a cheaper school as money is tight, but the prestige and connections are well worth it.</p>
<p>My family discovered a way to have myself and my brother attend top universities. I enlisted in the Army and afterwards utilized my GI Bill to pay for my tuition at UCLA. While this was obviously not planned, my younger brother attented the Air Force Academy and graduated without having to pay any of his tuition. And now has a great job as a Contracting Officer. The only catch....a 6 year commitment. </p>
<p>While I understand the military may be out of the question for many families, the military academies may be an option.</p>
<p>This is a question we'll have to cope with. We won't qualify for financial aid. We had saved 100+% of our kids college costs in 529 plans, but only planned to draw on them if we couldn't handle the cost out of current income because they are a great estate planning tool -- if the rules haven't changed, you can switch to 529s to your grandchildren but can still withdraw the money for yourself with a 10% penalty. Unfortunately, both 529's have taken a real hit because they were not invested for upcoming colleges. Both our kids attended public elementary school and private middle school. Our son attended the excellent public high school. Our daughter attends an excellent private high school in our town where the tuition is $32K this year and will be higher next year. My kids are dual Canadian/US citizens and can go to Canadian universities at very low cost (e.g., tuition of $5K or $7K).</p>
<p>Our son will start college in the fall. He's unusually bright and bright in unusual ways (said not only as a loving father but as a former Ivy professor). He's also quite dyslexic, extremely driven, loves ideas and the life of the mind. He's confident and advocates for himself, although he needs support from a disabilities services office. He's got free tuition at our state university, but has applied almost entirely to northeast schools that don't give merit aid (Brown, HYP, Tufts, Dartmouth, Williams, Amherst, Wesleyan, Bates, Bowdoin, Vassar, Sarah Lawrence). He has had health problems and we suggested that he stay in driving distance of our house, which ruled out CMU, Rice, and others that are good for merit aid. McGill, where our bright Canadian cousins go, would not be a good fit for his learning style. He should go to a school where there kids are as smart as he is, and my sense is that that only includes the top half of the list, and where interaction, debate and conversation are a big part of the educational process. </p>
<p>Our daughter is more content. She does pretty well -- gets B's and B+'s and A-'s at her school, but the grading is much harder than my son's school I think (he was 3.98 UW) and she doesn't seem bothered if she hasn't done worse than her friends (who are good students). She doesn't have any academic passions thus far. She is somewhat ADD and as a result of doing the neuropsychological tests, we know that she has a very high IQ also. But, she's not a conceptual type and doesn't really show it in a lot of her work. She does, however, come up with interesting insights.</p>
<p>My own instinct is that many schools provide a good education and that some schools styles will fit different students better, but that the top X schools (15-30) do two additional things: 1) they affect your horizons/expectations ("I want to be pretty good" versus "I want to be the best in the state" versus "I want to be the best in the world"); and 2) they give you contacts (some schools populate the local elite and some, like HYP, populate the global elite). Depending upon what you do and how bright, ambitious, and driven you are, these latter two things can be worth a lot in terms of career success/satisfaction and in some fields, economically. Relative to McGill or UBC or other good Canadian universities, I would I'd be willing to make that investment for a kid who looked like he/she would really take advantage of it. The case is much less compelling below the top 20 or 30schools. There could be a case that the kid really will do a lot better at a small school and most of the Canadian schools are large. But, it would take a bit to persuade me that it was worth the price differential to go to USC or Tulane or Vanderbilt. (If the block system really fit a kid, it would be easier to persuade me that Colorado College was worth the price differential).</p>
<p>So, I'm waiting to see with my daughter. If she keeps her aspirations at current levels and doesn't develop a clear academic passion, I'd probably guide her toward a Canadian school. If she turns up the throttle (and I'm trying to get her to), I'll do less guiding. From a fairness standpoint, I'm OK either way. We will have paid $120K+ for her HS tuition so one could say fairness would be achieved if we paid less for her tuition. I thought the HS would really help her academically and while the proof will be in the pudding, it is a terrific school. And, if I thought a below the top 20 or 30 school would be dramatically superior for her, I would pay for that.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Tried to 'bribe' older one to take a gap year to so that the sibs would be in college at teh same time for another year, but no go.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>This made me smile. Our girls are 25 months apart and were two years apart in school. But then the younger one decided to graduate HS a year early and so they were just one year apart in college. The younger one likes to remind us of all the money we "saved" by her graduating HS a year early because it meant that she and her sister overlapped in undergrad school for three years, instead of two, and the FA grant money shot up for the older sibling once two were in school at the same time.</p>
<p>My older brother and I are both attending 50k+/year universities. Thankfully, our respective schools have both been very, very generous. </p>
<p>My mom was actually opposed to my applying to state schools RD after I had gotten into one of my reach/matches EA because she was dead-set on sending me to the best school I could get into, no matter the price tag. My parents are worried about tuition, but they won't let it stop my little brother, their last child, go to the best school he can.</p>
<p>We have 7 kids, (ages 4-20) one (good) income and no savings. #1 is a college junior. H allowed him to turn down full rides to attend private school of his choice. I was not happy with this decision--I even offered him a (used) car if he would take a full-ride, but he wanted one school only. His school offers no financial aid, other than work-study, which we didn't apply for. S worked and saved during high school and summers and will pay about 15% of his costs, which have increased from 25K freshman year to nearly 30K for his senior year. A job change and a move changed our financial situation and #2 is now a high school senior. She had very specific college criteria about size, religious affiliation, major available, sport available, generous merit aid, etc. That left her with a list of 3 schools, all of which offered her excellent scholarships. My kids know that "life isn't fair" and never expect equality in anything. It doesn't matter to D that more $$ was spent on her brother. She knows our situation, and our goal is to get all our kids through college without debt, if possible. She will also pay about 15% of her total--which will be a lot less $ than bro. had to contribute. She may end up with the used car. Basically, we made a mistake with kid #1 and have a hard time paying for his school. Never again. We had to get a better "college search strategy" in order to get through the next 18 years with 1 or 2 kids in college continuously.</p>
<p>I would tell "Jessica" that if she will look outside the northeast, outside the super-selective colleges, she can find many small private colleges that offer generous merit aid. Her parents may be surprised that a private college might be in the same price range as in-state public.</p>
<p>My goal, like atomom's, is to get them through without debt... but life isn't always equal. </p>
<p>I qualify for substantial need-based aid-- a good thing if your child can get into a handful of colleges that meet full need, a bad thing otherwise. So far, one child won the golden ticket of fa and will graduate with no debt but another was not competitive for that tier of school. Instead, was gapped to the tune of 5 figures-- so went to the cc for a few years and is now living at home and getting through a 4year with pell grants, student loans and a pt job for spending $.</p>
<p>Interesting senario. Limiting a child to the Ivy League OR the local public university is a little extreme, unless the local public university happens to be Cal, Michigan, UVa or another public that offers excellent undergraduate education. But for the sake of this exercise, I assume there are no top public universities in the state.</p>
<p>If that is the case, there are many universities, other than the 8 Ivies, that are excellent and worth the tuition, assuming the parents can afford paying. That includes private universities such as Boston College, Caltech, Carnegie Mellon, Chicago, Duke, Emory, Georgetown, Johns Hopkins, MIT, Northwestern, Notre Dame, Rice, Stanford, Tufts, Vanderbilt, Washington University and public universities too mind you, such as Cal, Michigan, UCLA, UIUC, UNC-Chapel Hill, UT-Austin, UVa, William and Mary and Wisconsin. I haven't even touched on LACs and there are easuly 20 or so LACs worth their weight in gold. </p>
<p>A good compromise would be a school like UNC-Chapel Hill or Wisconsin-Madison, which cost roughly $20,000 less than their private peers and roughly $10,000 less than there public peers. Rice is also a great value, although not quite as affordable. Of course, getting into those school is not easy. But if financial need is deomonstrated and genuinely needed, most universities will help.</p>
<p>My parents are paying for the brunt of my sister's college tuition at Northwestern. She's getting very little financial aid from the school, and NU is very expensive, so my parents made a deal with her that she'd have to take out some loans and look for grants everywhere.</p>
<p>My stats are a little better than my sister's pretty much everywhere. She was in the top 15% of her class, I'm in the top 15 persons. She was National Achievement, I'm pretty much certainly going to be national merit (226 in OH). My sister is really, really smart, but she is much more apathetic than I am. So my parents aren't pushing me into a state school to save money. They basically can't say no to me for any school because they said yes to my sister to NU. They're even okay with my top school (which I will never get into) being Cambridge University.</p>
<p>Great thread Sally. We've tried to treat both DDs the same. We were fortunate that nether one was attracted to the Ivies though each did have one full freight school on her list. </p>
<p>DD1 was smart, NMF with very good grades and ended up being wait-listed at Reed (her full freight). She is very happy at Denison U with a full tuition scholarship (we are happy too). </p>
<p>DD2 has applied to Carleton among others (only a potential $2K scholarship there). She refused to consider her sister's school and mostly selected colleges that max out at 1/2 tuition for merit. She knows that cost of attendance is one of the decision criteria and that she may have to take some loans over her school career, but I think she'll be happy in her school choice.</p>
<p>While I am fortunate enough to have my parents pay completely for me and my brother's college without any loans, the financial situation my parents worked out is a little tricky. My parents had set aside equal amounts of money that would pay for both our educations in full. I go to an expensive private university. My younger brother goes to a an OOS state school, but his expenses are still less than half of what mine are. To my knowledge at least, my parents decided we could have whatever money was left after we are done with school. For me, my fund will be basically gone while my brother will still have a significant amount left. With my ambitions for graduate school, this leaves me to pay for myself (I do not want to be depending on my parents at this point) while my brother will basically have a chunk of change in his pocket when he graduates to do as he pleases (and he is not the type to want to do school longer). I wonder if my expensive undergraduate education will really be worth it in the long run (and whether this plan will actually pan out).</p>
<p>"Fair" is not always the same as "equal."</p>
<p>Edit- this is not a response to an particular post.</p>
<p>I'm only one year older than my sister -- I graduated from high school and went to UCLA, and after my sister was accepted to Stanford a year later, my parents weren't sure that they could afford the whole cost for both of us. But because they were paying nearly full price for me, Stanford ended up giving her a generous grant to cover a lot of her tuition. Otherwise, my parents may have encouraged her to attend a cheaper school.</p>
<p>I ended up graduating early and got a scholarship to graduate school, so that helped as well.</p>
<p>my sister turned down pretty great merit aid at one private school to go to a different private school with less-than-fantastic aid. my parents actually dipped into some of my college savings to pay for hers (I don't know the details). most of the schools I applied to are also expensive privates, though they claim to meet 100% of demonstrated need, so I'm counting on the fact that my parent's are paying a fair amount for my sister's tuition to reduce my own EFC.</p>
<p>One alternate consideration regarding parents limiting privates to top 10/Ivies.....those schools tend to have the programs with no loans, limits on home equity in the finaid formula, limits on EFC based on income. If your kid can get in there, you may be able to afford it with a much lower EFC and no loans as compared to a VAssar/USC/NYU (some of those schools may have adopted a no loan, when we were getting offers they had not, but there is a category of mid ranked top 25 type privates which would give a family a significantly 'worse' package</p>
<p>One of my DDs attends a well known, well ranked public, her sister wanted a private, we offered to cover up to a state flagship COA.</p>
<p>My other DD spent time at a CC, then with a merit scholarship, she will be able to complete her BA for the same total COA as my public school DDs school COA.</p>
<p>I did think briefly about scholarships, public school DD earned a couple of merit awards, I decided that just reduces our fees, I am not giving them each $25k, I am offering to cover up to that state school COA, not refunding the differences.</p>
<p>somemom, Vassar (ranked #11) has no loans for family incomes under $60K.</p>
<p>I'm a triplet and both of my sisters and I are going to college in the Fall. This said, we actually live out of the US (though we are dual US Citizens). Though this rules out any sort of in-state tuition, it's actually a plus: the country we live in is a big believer in tertiary education and offers scholarships of up to US$20,000-$30,000 to qualified students for all four under-grad. years (providing GPA is at least 3.0). We are all among the most qualified students (the country is VERY small, statistics on this are well-known) and we are also planning on applying for other smaller scholarships. Cost was still a factor when deciding which schools to apply to, however. Our mother insisted it should have no bearing on which school we decided to apply to/go to while Dad realistically said we should keep it in mind and that a "better"/more expensive school might not have the qualities another less-renowned, more affordable one might have. In the end, we applied to three private universities (2 with an estimated cost of $50,000+) and three public schools (with costs estimated at $35,000).
My parents decided against filling out a FASFA, based on the likelihood that the aid we might receive being more or less negligible and the complications involved with tax info, etc. (Citizens do not pay taxes in my country of residence.) Besides this, they have a small business and own a fair amount of property, in addition to making respectable salaries, so most universities would dismiss our need. They do have some sort of fund for us, but I'm not certain on how much it contains, and I doubt it would cover the US$600,000+ (or US$300,000+ considering the scholarship we are each likely to receive) price tag our most expensive option has. Regardless of what my parents say, I know that I - and my sisters, as well - will consider cost when deciding on a school.</p>