It should be online in the university’s policies somewhere
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Yes exactly. He HAS asked for the report himself. They said no. Will suggest he ask if this infraction is to be included in all college paperwork going forward. Not, as one posted suggested, that we are trying to expunge it. We are just trying to understand it, and the college has been non-responsive to polite questions emailed to them.
A bit frustrating, w so much on the line here.
Oddly enough, it is not. A friend told me some (but by no mean ALL) colleges deliberately leave that out so as to make each decision as it comes up.
I’m just going to throw something out - are you sure this was his first offense?
At my son’s school, first offense gets you a fine, a one on one counseling session and a two day alcohol awareness class (ask me how I know). Second offense gets more of the same - bigger fine, more counseling, longer class. Third offense gets you suspended. Maybe your son had prior offenses that he didn’t tell you about and the ones that didn’t get suspended were only first time offenders.
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A suspension seems like an extremely stiff penalty for a first time/single offense. You should ask your son if this the actually the first/only time he has gotten caught drinking underage or if there is more to the story.
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We are with you all the way on this. As he is on his way home, we will give him a little time to himself, then ask that exact question. On the phone he swore there were no previous infractions; he wrote a letter waiving all confidentiality to his family, etc. But when we see him face to face, the rubber may well hit the road.
And THAT is one of the key reasons for asking the college for their records, or at least responsiveness to him AND his family, esp as our son has waived his privacy rights for us, his parents. If there’s a bigger problem, we need to know. He may be 18 but still in so many ways a kid. And it would solve the mystery of why 8 kids walked away scot-free and 2 kids got suspended.
Thank you for this.
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Is there an ombudsman’s office? With your son, you should be able to have a conversation with that person about the College disciplinary procedures.
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Colleges do have policies and students agree to be bound by them. But they can by challenged if they are enforced unfairly. I know families who have “lawyered up” and successfully done so. Before going that route, though, you will want to know the truth from your son as well as have clarity around the result you want. A lawyer could tell you if that is attainable under the circumstances.
From the few folks I know who have done this, this is generally an approach that works best when the resolution doesn’t involve returning to the school. (I.e., for matters such as return of tuition, removal of action from transcript, etc.)
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Ah, an ombudsman. THANK YOU. A great lead. A fairly neutral office, I suspect. Neither my son nor I would ever go in, guns blazing. But the tight lips of the administration is frustrating. Will tell my son to inquire immediately. As i said previously, this is the savviest - and most compassionate - community I know. THANK YOU.
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So what will he do next semester? Oops just saw he was suspended for a semester.
100% correct, again. Colleges do have policies and students need to adhere to them. We get it that our tuition for this semester - and the financial aid - is gone. (another talk I’d like to have is w the FinAid office to see if he’s now forever barred from FA. If so, he’s gone from this college a lot longer then just mid-December. He’ll need to take the rest of the year off and go back to his construction job from last summer.
I do get it about “lawyering up” and often the outcome that way is optimal. First priority, as you say, though, is to FIND OUT FROM ALL SIDES whether this is a first infraction. Second will be just to KNOW if this remains permanently on his college record.
Very good minds out here this afternoon. Appreciate it.
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Thank you for asking. He is invited back immediately after final exams THIS SEMESTER. He was just about to take mid-terms when this happened. 3 days ago, when this happened, I had him enroll in a local college back here at home offering 8-week intensive night school classes (late October thru Dec 24, and he will WORK during the day) but his college said they would not accept any transfer credits for the duration of his suspension, so he withdrew. Fine. In addition to his day job, we need the basement cleaned out.
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Is he taking winter classes? At all of my kids’ colleges everyone had to move out of the dorms 24 hours after finals.
There may be more to the story than you know at this time.
Your son may need to hire an attorney.
However, the apology letter may have caused a lot of harm to your son’s case. Giving a written confession was not a wise move as it is evidence against oneself.
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Yes, it’s ironic, isn’t it? His suspension ends he day all the kids have to go home. If his college approves he will take a 3-credit “winter break course.” Whether it is at his actually college (doubtful, bc then he’d have to pay for housing), online, or at a local college approved by his advisor - we shall see :). Just want him to get “back in the saddle” as soon as possible.
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You are entirely right. I’m afraid we will have to hire an attorney, which is scary as we do not wish to trifle w the college. But the non-responsiveness is forcing us in this direction.
Anyone have experience in how colleges react when you hire an attorney? I can only imagine you piss them off. Yikes!
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He should get the paperwork himself and then pass it on to you.
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My very first reaction was to hire an attorney. The attorney can perhaps get the paperwork that you seek.
So your son was standing outside the frat with an open container? What about the kids inside the fraternity?
I cannot believe the harshness here. A lawyer can also find out future consequences.
I think it is a worthwhile expense if you can swing it. (If you are in the Boston area I can suggest someone! Use Avvo- a website for lawyers).
We used a lawyer during high school for one of our kids. I went to meetings with a smile and said we had some “great suggestions from a lawyer.” Things can really change for the better when the power balance is even a little more even. A lawyer does not have to mean your interactions are adversarial.
You seem like a very very reasonable person and I am sure you can pull off professional-like interactions with the college, along with your son, but also a lawyer can do all the communicating if preferred.
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Are you saying the college won’t give your SON the paperwork? If that’s the case, I would have a lawyer draft a letter. “I’m representing Son. Please provide all documents related to his recent suspension to our office immediately.”
And have the lawyer sign and date the letter.
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Thirty years ago, a girl I knew walked up to me and grabbed the beer I was drinking (we were both college sophomores in our first week back at school). She drank a big sip from the beer, and exactly then two college police officers walked up. She was cited for an open alcohol container (I don’t think anything about being under age was ever written down). The fine was $120 and I paid half.
Today, she is in the top 5 employees of a major auto maker (she has been in the news lately and that made me remember this experience). So I would say your student’s future hasn’t been ruined by this one incident.
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