^Don’t let your kid do it. 
Any common app school has a restriction that you agree to when you apply, and most schools with their own apps have something in their app as well.
This is a pattern. I agree with others, after ensuring that you go to the best school possible, he is going to want to control what you major in.
He is going to say that you are throwing away your excellent SAT score and math SAT2 score on a public health major.
All he would need to do is threaten to stop paying.
If UCB will require taking out loans and a grad degree in public health is necessary, you will have to carry those loans as well.
You could turn this around on him and say you don’t need to even go to college to be a housewife.
Maybe he would like you to go college, any college rather than not go at all.
i love the part where he says “you’ll just be a housewife” – in front of his wife / her mother.
Her mom makes $60K a year from an earlier post. Not to excuse his comment, though.
^^^
yeah, i know. but somehow i don’t think that dissuades him from seeing her as “just a housewife.”
Another idea–just throwing things out here: tell him that you want him to get his bmw and you realize the value in not going into debt to pay for college. Therefore you have decided to take a full ride scholarship at Univetsity of Alabama, which your scores enable you to do. I mean, as long as you are going to be a housewife, why pay a dime for college?
Suddenly the idea of UVA will be looking quite good to him.
- Send the deposit to UVA.
- Threaten to take a gap year unless he agrees to pay for UVA (and be prepared to do it.) No Tiger parent wants their kid sitting around the house for a year when they could be in school.
However, the risk is that the father will then disown the OP and throw her out of the house.
Just deposit at UVA and turn down Berkeley. Then it’s over.
You and mom can work out a way to pay for UVA if it’s just not doable, read the jigfeet thread I linked to. You have options.
This just occurred to me: Why hasn’t your dad sent in the deposit to UCB? He doesn’t have to wait for you.
Maybe there is a corner of his mind that is expecting you to go to UVA and all of this is just for show.
I am a senior like you @Richmond22…
I am almost in the same position as yours…only difference is I have the luxury of full ride on my side…and my dream school on his side…
I am pretty sure both of our dads’ intention is the same…They strongly believe once you step foot into a ‘reputed’ school, they could stop worrying about their kid’s future…I don’t see anything wrong with their thought process…
We are young and emotional and when we want something we go to any extreme to paint our parents’ words as cruel, condescending, domineering etc. and try to brand them as Chinese, Mexican, immigrant, Indian etc.as if they are bad words or third-rated cultures (if they could come to another country and come up in life against all odds and raise a family and most importantly a smart one like you, they deserve bouquets not brickbats ),while casually forgetting that they only want the best for us and they have made enormous sacrifices for us and love is all that is behind their actions ,even though their words may not be always polished and politically correct and pleasing to our ears…Almost every teen crosses this bridge at some point of time…
If I were you…I would count your blessings…You have a two parent household…You have parents willing to support you financially for education…You have admission to two top schools…and many more…
Have a heart to heart with your Dad…Tell him that you understand his fear and let him know that you are confident to face the world on your own and succeed wherever you are studying…If he is still adamant take his choice and things will workout…You never know you may fall in love with your Dad’s choice…After all grass is greener on the other side…
It takes a lot of courage to take a stand against parents but it takes only few seconds to make a foolish decision…
Take a decision…Whatever you decide sleepover it for a night before pulling the trigger and it better be yours…
Good luck girl…!!!
Girlz Rule!!!
I wrote this in the ‘Should Parents Pay for kid’s college’ post…
On day one of my high school year my Dad told me not to worry about paying for college and concentrate on studies, learning for life, getting good grades, and getting into a decent school…
Four years have gone by and it is D day…I did not dream Ivy, but got into a top school with full ride…also got into my top choice instate school with 25K in Scholarships/ yr and with 20K baggage/ yr…My Dad is adamant he would pay to get me into my top choice…
He always said his parents made all the sacrifices to send him to the top school and that is the duty of every parent…Even though I agree with his thought process…I am saying No to him and me and plan to go to my full ride school and succeed and make him proud…
Having said that I honestly think it is every parent’s duty to enable their kids to dream big and support them to realize those dreams in every step ,whether the kid is gifted or otherwise
Challenge your Dad to call his PhD thesis advisor and ask what he thinks of both UCB and uva.
Okay but you realize that’s the opposite of what this parent is doing? He’s telling his child to take on debt (it’s unclear how much) to go to a peer school she doesn’t like as much.
Parents who quit talking to their children to force them to submit to whatever decisions they’ve made for them aren’t acting out of love. They’re being controlling and in our culture that’s considered abusive.
You sound like you think this young person is just throwing a fit to get her way. You don’t know her and you have no right to make that assumption. Parents who want the best for their children don’t quit speaking to them or turn on their mothers and siblings when they try to stand up for them, and they don’t try to force them to cosign $80-100k of loans so they can brag about the prestigious college their child is attending. That type of behavior is not okay.
Dad, The deposit is due in the next couple of days. I have decided I definitely want to go to UVa and feel I can be happy and successful there. . I really like it and it is much less costly for our family. Thank you for your support… How do you prefer I make the deposit?
@bsmd2020 Your post has won my respect. To be thankful for what your parents have done for you shows you have been raised up correctly. People seem to forget it is between a daughter and a father. So far we have only heard her side of the story. The father does not even have a chance to defend himself. Please let the family resolve this issue as a family. To me the relationship between the daughter and the father and the well being of the family are more important than what college she attends eventually.
I wish there was time for the OP to take her dad to UVA so he can speak with some there. They certainly could set him straight on his crazy thoughts.
OP…since you live in VA, could you get your dad to UVA this week?
@Tigerbeach, most of the posters out here are very familiar with both the schools the OP is talking about. It sounds like he can’t actually afford UCB without loans, either, although the OP has not said how much. What could the dad say to convince you? Gotta say, this crowd is not easy on prestige hounds, especially when the schools are truly comparable and the cost differential is large. When somebody is doing something dumb (whether parent or kid), they will be told that. In this case, I can’t imaging a scenario where the dad’s position makes sense. Which is probably why he is yelling and not talking to family members – that is often what people do when logic is not on their side.
If the OP comes and asks for advice, we are going to give her our best ideas. If we thought she were wrong (say she wants to go to UCB, dad says UVA), she would get that advice. If you think all college advice should be kept within families, you are going to want to avoid an awful lot of threads out here. Plus… college admissions are complex, and people often don’t have full info. Look at the OP’s dad, who says loans are needed for UCB, but didn’t fill out FAFSA. At least the OP now knows what is needed to get the best type of student loans, when her dad doesn’t seem to know.
@usualhopeful and @austinmshauri…
Looks like you two have not read the entire thread and especially OP’s responses…I just summarized what she has written and I am not making any assumptions here and there is no generation gap between me and OP…and so I perfectly understand where she comes from as I am one among them…
At the end of the day all of us want her to be happy…
On a totally different thought-
What irks me is ,in the name of giving armchair quarterback advice ,people waiting to jump on the bandwagon to malign an immigrant parent at the earliest opportunity and give cultural advice to someone who has a PhD, hailing from a culture/country dating back to 10000 years…
Instead of lurking on college forums, these Dr. Phil wannabes can use their expertise in relationship forums so that our country’s divorce rate can dip below 50%…
@richmond22 I will ping you in private…and I am out of this thread…
BTW, thanks @TigerBeach…I love my parents…they are not perfect…but they made this confident young one with no blemish… 
Sounds like the OP has a sister – wonder what we age and college status are. If she is coming up on college, that is an issue as well.