<p>Lol… spoken by someone who has not yet tried to do this. Or gone through a recession like the one we are just coming out of while trying to support a family. You have no idea what this is about. Take a look at minimum wage (which is what so many students with impractical majors end up with) and the cost of quality daycare. Just that ought to be enough to give you pause on this.</p>
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<p>Most people do end up deciding they want kids. Even if you can’t imagine it now, it gets pretty lonely when almost every one of your friends has gone down the parenting path and you are the only one who ever wants to hang out any more. I wouldn’t try to talk you into it now, but will only say that being a parent is the making of most people as human beings. But your quote here… sounds like my ex-husband. Who wanted the best of EVERYTHING (for himself and his kids, which he did not have until he was in his late 30s). But he had not gone down the path of a practical career and working to build that career in his 20s. Cavier taste on his ramen noodle budget. That was a problem. I am the one who stepped up and took care of it, both in the short term while we were married (23 years of marriage, so not really short term…) and after we were divorced. Thank god for practical majors. </p>
<p>Now, my neighbor across the street was not so lucky. Her ex-H (doctor) dumped her a few years ago with 2 teenage boys. He is not paying for their college, and she had not really worked much while married (didn’t have a very practical major in college…). Now she is in her 50s and working as a home health aid, trying to help her boys pay their college bills.</p>
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<p>What? The OP does not have any credit score issues at this time. This seems like advice from left field… Many employers do check your credit scores, but that is across MANY industries. I would not single any out.</p>
<p>Even if the advice is good/right (which I don’t necessarily agree with), I don’t believe anything gives a human being the right to try to choose someone else’s life for them (even if it’s their kid) by manipulating them with money. Many people will do it. The easiest way to avoid it is to not take money from anyone (I am talking about money gifts, not money you earn for doing something specific), family included.</p>
<p>Personally, I think being free from having someone make life choices for you because of money power is worth A LOT. Where does it stop? I know a man who got cut off because he dated a Catholic girl. Is choosing someone’s career for them that much better? I don’t believe so.</p>
<p>My one and only advice is don’t take money form ANYONE if it’s going to give them this power over you. I am sure I will get comments like having to work for money gives the employer power over you, but it’s very different. Personally, nothing makes me happier than being able to make my own choices. Will I (and do I) make mistakes? Sure, but it’s worth it. I hope OP is able to live his life on his own terms.</p>
<p>I know everyone thinks they are special, but I am pretty strange, and really don’t want kids. It’s not just that I don’t want them, I am opposed to having them for complicated ethical reasons, and while things change, I think I am in an elite segment of the population who really is unlikely to ever want them. </p>
<p>Money is always nice when unforeseeable stuff goes down, but a lot of us – probably most of us if the happiness I see in others is a reasonable clue – are not wired to build our lives around having it, even if it makes things easier.</p>
<p>(btw, I am not a liberal arts major, and my career goals come with six-figure paydays. But I know how much I would hate my major if I didn’t love it and want to be involved with it every day.)</p>
<p>Intparent, I don’t have kids, but I DO know what it’s like to go through financial hardship, have no job, and go through a recession.</p>
<p>Don’t let my username fool you - it’s from a while ago.</p>
<p>I am in my mid-to-late-20’s. I was looking for my first job right as the economic crisis hit. I have lived on my own with no job and no money coming in for a short period in my life (thankfully, I found a job), and I have supported myself and been self-sufficient ever since graduating college. So no, I don’t have kids, but don’t make the mistake of thinking I know nothing of real life.</p>
<p>Doesnt really matter. Parental support is only needed for your undergrad, and you can major in anything a be a doctor. Just do what you want and tell him you are still considering med school. When you graduate cut your dad off.</p>
<p>I recommend you just take the pre-med classes and tell your dad that you need a major (pre-med is NOT a major) so you will choose English since you believe you will have a very high GPA in it (also it looks good to take a NON-science major for medical schools).</p>
<p>Your dad is afraid you will not make an income. It is very hard to make money as a writer. Just because it is very hard does not mean you won’t succeed, but what if you never “figure it out” or “change your mind”? You’ll be stuck with a major investment that will not give you a return! </p>
<p>I recommend pre-med with English major and also get very serious about creating a writing career for yourself WHILE you are in college. Be well known on campus as a writer, write for publications, etc. Begin your writing career while you’re in college and by the time you graduate, you’ll be more confident to confront your dad about your passion. :)</p>
<p>P.S. I am in a similar situation to you. My parents wanted me to be a doctor while I wanted to be a dancer. I started dancing and got a taste of the dance industry. It’s tough, brutal, and for a late-bloomer like me, difficult to navigate. I altered my plan to dance & do corporate wellness at the same time. Something that would allow me to dance and it would be a benefit to my business that I dance. I also got diagnosed with ADD and I’m getting a Master’s so my parents feel a little better.</p>
<p>Lily2015- I forgot to mention that while I am encouraging her toward practicality in selection of a career, if my daughter was a good writer I would be supporting that. In fact I gave up encouraging her to write because she hates it. I thought anyone who enjoyed reading as much as she does would take to writing, but I guess I was wrong.
Her little sister (7th grade) writes all the time. she loves to write but may not write as well as the one who hates it. go figure!</p>
<p>OP you sound like me when I started college. Are you paying your own bills? Add up how much your cell phone, car insurance (if you have one) ,gas, rent, food, utilities, and cable cost. Figure out how much you will make as a writing major. Your school should have some kind of salary survey from recent grads for you to look through.</p>
<p>I picked a worthless major (dietetics to become a dietitian). I have watched my friends make more money than me, have companies pay for their relocating costs when they land their first job and have to move, get stipends to buy new clothes, have flights paid for so their family and friends can come visit them when they are working out of state, etc, etc. I have also watched friends been forced to move out of their apartment because they cant afford it and have to work at Starbucks because they cant find work. </p>
<p>I too said I never wanted kids and never wanted to get married. I now view the world much differently at 23 then at 18. Majoring in something that does not lead to direct employment will make your life miserable in the coming years and severely limit your choices. </p>
<p>By the way, my successful friends all majored in mechanical engineering, electrical engineering, food science, radiological health sciences, nursing, management, pharmacy, and chemical engineering. I would find salary surveys from your school and base your career decision based on that. Then, one day when you can afford it, return to school for writing.</p>
<p>^OP - I say study what you want and strike out on your own. You will never regret being your own person unless, for you, being your own person is a fantasy. Meaning, if you really want to be a multi-millionaire but want to study social work, your dream is not based in reality. If you are willing to do your own thing and content to accept whatever outcomes result, do it.</p>
<p>Your dad is manipulating you and using his patronage to force his will upon you. If you weren’t father-child, I’d call it subjugation. If it wasn’t so manipulative, I’d call it guidance.</p>
<p>If you want to be a free person, do it your way.</p>
<p>I’m a dad myself. I am cutting off my kids because I love them. They have to learn to make it on their own as do you. They have to make decisions and live with the results. Parents are great guides but sometimes too close to things to see the big picture.</p>
<p>Also, I work in healthcare also. Doctor income is plummeting, doctor independence is gone and quality of life is getting worse every year. The average pediatrician makes about $90K, family doc about $125k, internist about $140k. Specialists and surgeons earn more but spend $300k getting to that level and 8 years of college/med school plus 7-10 years of internship, residency and fellowship. Your life will begin at 33 years old. Who knows how Obamacare will change medicine by that time. Looking at most socialized medicine programs, you will be a government employee earning govt wages, picketing for a pay increase alongside your Union buddies while patients are dying in hospitals.</p>
<p>Obviously I don’t know your family dynamics but as a parent and an Asian parent, I encourage you to push back on your father and do what suits you, not him. Just because you don’t get a BS or go pre-med doesn’t mean that any doors are closed to you and, in fact, you will be better off in the long run. I experienced something similar during college with my parents when I declared that I wanted to be a philosophy major. They were insistent that I choose a major in some hard science or at least economics. But I went my own way, and did what I loved and seemed to have a talent for. It turns out that in philosophy I got to know my professors much better than in some huge department and I stood out as doing something more unique with my education. And graduate schools recognize that as well; I went to law school, but I could have just as well gone into business or even med school if I had taken some additional chemistry courses. Today, as an employer, I would be much happier to hire someone who was a talented creative writer or is a phi beta kappa art historian than some disinterested business major. You can teach a smart person the subject matter, but you can’t teach smart.</p>
<p>Many parents have this goal for their kids. Definitely mention that in the future, doctors might not be making as much as they do today with the new healthcare system. </p>
<p>You do need to have several backup plans, like teaching English alongside your writing career or being editor. This allows you to have a career they you know is sufficient to support yourself, yet you cans till write on the side. If you become a famous author and make millions, then you can move into a full time writing career. In the meantime, you might also want to start blogging. People have made decent amounts of money blogging by doing that adsense thing. </p>
<p>I am sorry you are in this situation. As a parent, I do not agree with your father’s stance. However, it is HIS money and HIS right to invest it in whatever HE pleases. If he does not want to pay for your college costs or towards your expenses without certain stipulations, that is up to him. You are now an adult, and your have another adult, yes, he’s your father, but look at it without that relationship in the picture, saying that your living expenses, tuition and other needs/wants you have for the next X years will be paid if you pursue a certain course of study. Otherwise, you have to become self sufficient. So those are your choices. </p>
<p>If you can see it in yourself to at least give the premed courses, really O-Chem, Bio, Physics and labs are probably all that are left, a chance and see if you even get into any med schools, you have your way paid for a while. Otherwise, you had better find another way to support yourself.</p>
<p>It is not unusual for a parent or a person or an agency to offer to pay for someone to pursue a certain course of study. I know a number of parents who will help out for med school or law school, but refuse to pay for PHD studies in English. That happens a lot. But usually parents who are able, will forestall this sort of thing through the undergraduate years. Your dad is jumping the gun time wise. But it is his privilege to do so. You are no longer a child.</p>
<p>But a father might want to consider there are consequences to taking a hard line: My cousin was/is a brilliant writer and highly verbal and always excelled in English and writing yet his father was deadset on his becoming a doctor. While he didn’t threaten to cut him off, my uncle bullied his son into going to a mediocre state school, rather than an Ivy League school my cousin was accepted into, under the misguided notion that he would stand out at the state school and thereby improve his chances for getting into med school. So what happened? My cousin promptly flunked out his first year, meandered unhappily through life, constantly kicking himself over not going to the ivy league school he could have gone to and regretting decades later not following his own heart. My cousin will never forgive his father and they don’t speak anymore.</p>
<p>Your dad sounds like a good man. He is giving you the freedom to lead your own life if you don’t want to spend his money.</p>
<p>If you are adult enough to spend someone else’s money in large amounts of what amounts to a small fortune, then you need to face upto your responsibility in spending it according the owner’s wishes. What people are preaching here is to equivocate and make up stuff while spending it. That is quite immature. People who want freedom leave the nest and do what they want and not lie and cheat their way through it.</p>
<p>No one is entitled to their parent’s money.</p>
<p>plus, your father probably understands much more than you. all college students have some utopian ideas on what they are going to do when they graduate. It usually doesn’t work out so well…</p>
<p>“Doing pre-law” isn’t like being pre-med. There aren’t specific course pre-requisites for law school the way there are for medical school. Law schools actually discourage people from majoring in something called “pre-law”. (Not that I’m advising anyone to go to law school these days; it’s a dismal time to go to law school. But I thought I would chime in to correct a common misunderstanding.)</p>
<p>Of course, there are consequences for taking such a stance. Clearly, this dad is willing to take the chances of the more dire consequences. He may also be bluffing, he may change his mind. But for right now he doesn’t want to pay unless his son follows a certain prescribed path. Not an unusual stance, but unusual at the undergraduate level for most parents who can pay for college. Very common later on and very common for other venues.</p>
In the meantime, you might also want to start blogging. People have made decent amounts of money blogging by doing that adsense thing. </p>