<p>I finally pulled myself (after seeing the examples of others) to write a pratice essay. I'd appreciate if you could offer feedback. Please be critical!</p>
<p>PROMPT:</p>
<p>Blue Book Pratice Test 1 Prompt</p>
<p>What motivates people to change?</p>
<p>ESSAY:</p>
<p>Our environment motivates us to change. Although some people assert that change must stem from within the self, ultimately humans need to be persuaded from external sources in order to change. Three examples from my life reveal how external factors are the key to change.</p>
<pre><code>Last year I was unable to give myself the courage and boldness that I needed to admit the truth. My father however, changed this for my offering his example. My father and I were at a gathering on a Saturday evening. I was in the kitchen of my uncle’s house and I broke a lavish crystal glass by mistake. I immediately left the scene and failed to return near the kitchen. When my uncle inquired the gathering as to who was the culprit, no one responded. I couldn’t pull myself to get up and admit that I had broken the glass. After the gathering, my father approached me and said he knew by my face what had happened. He offered words of encouragement and passionately related the important of being bold. Soon after I went to my uncle’s house and admitted I was responsible for the incident. Had it not been for my father’s encouragement, I would have never been able to change myself. Even since the incident, I have never been afraid to admit my mistakes.
One month ago my best friend John’s girl friend Ashley came crying to me and mentioned how John had cheated on her for the second time. John had gone to his friend Mick’s house for a party Friday night. He had promised Ashley he would not cheat on her again and felt he had control over himself. That night he met a girl who was grieving over her friend’s severe illness. John went to comfort her and ended up taking her to some place private. Things escalated and he ending up cheating on Ashley. Ashley felt compelled to break up with John. John pleaded that he had tried his best and couldn’t stop himself. Ashley was obstinate and left the premises. After a few days John came to me and related how he had made a decision to change himself in order to avoid situations like this in the future. It was Ashley’s decision to end the relationship that forced John to change himself when he himself could not do so.
Back in fifth grade I used to be extremely combative. I continued my habits unable to change them the way it was necessary to do so until my priest helped me. Fighting was a norm for me in fifth grade. I would end up arguing during lunch break with fellow peers and it would escalate into violence. Once day I challenged a peer named James to a fight. He had taken my lunch bag the previous day and dumped it in the trash can. I fought him after school and was caught by a supervisor who sent me to the office immediately. I was suspended for one week for the incident. I related the story to my priest who showed me that taking calm and returning the bad with good could solve similar problems and do so in better ways. After my return to school the following week, another student ruined my lunch. I stayed calm however and asked him kindly to not repeat the act. He was so moved he bought me a new lunch and promised to not take my lunch again. If it had not been for my priest, I would never have learnt a better way to deal with my anger and my tribulations.
The experiences of my life all have taught me how humans need others to help them change. As creatures who love to follow, seeing the example of another or listening to the advice of another is essential in order to change in positive ways. Ultimately, humans seek guidance so they can guide themselves.
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<p>The essay took a total of 27 minutes</p>
<p>Can you especially make sure the essay is on prompt. I have a problem with this sometimes.</p>