<p>Umpteen years ago I came home the first weekend after college started--I was a little overwhelmed and missed my friends from home (several of whom were going to a commuter school and living at home). I ate some home cooking, retrieved clothes and belongings that I needed, spent a short time with the friends, realizing that we were already living in different worlds, and headed back to college. A very cute boy I had met was waiting at my door. I didn't go back again till Thanksgiving!</p>
<p>yalemom1 My son is also at Yale, his 2nd year.Im so happy for you that your son is coming home for the week end, the 1st few months are so overwhelming but with your support your son will do just great. I always allow my son to come home when ever he wants and it does get less over time. good luck and enjoy</p>
<p>I believe that, after this weekend, you will both feel much better.</p>
<p>Yale, New Haven CN?
This is a residential school. Your S is unfortunate to live nearby whereas most other students are much further from home.</p>
<p>My oldest son came home way too much...
There was a GF at home, and whenever he could catch a ride home (2 1/2 -3 hour drive) for the weekend, he did.
I really think that kept him from getting busy with campus life. Three years later his best friends are still kids he knew from high school, and his main activity is the organization related to his major. He's happy and it's worked out ok, but I look at the experience of s#2 who stayed on campus and spent much more time there, and I see how much more he has gotten out of the whole "college" experience.</p>
<p>UPDATE..........he got off the train with a big smile and looked like he grew leaps and bounds in just a week (mostly in his demeanor) he went to tell me how great everything is, offering all kinds of information on his new friends, roommate who is from Europe and smokes like a chimney, but likes him a lot, his classes/schedule, the way he is getting to know his way around....waiting for him at the train I was very anxious and prepared myself for someone coming off the train a little melancholy, but I got almost the opposite which believe me was so wonderful! So today and tomorrow I guess we will play catch up and make an effort to get together all the things he felt he left behind or wasn't able to do without my being involved, and spend some quality time together and guess he will be ready to head back Monday night. I am very relieved and really know I did the right thing. Thanks for all of your encouragement</p>
<p>Sounds like this short trip home is just what the both of you needed. </p>
<p>I hope you and your son have a great visit.</p>
<p>btw, welcome to cc and the parents forum!</p>
<p>yalemom1 sounds great I'm so happy for you!</p>
<p>You know, this is really very sweet. As said by others, I suspect that one reason he needed to come home was to see for himself that you are OK. That would be my son, though he would have other "reasons." He may not even realize that this is a part of it, but it contributed to his feelings of incompleteness.</p>
<p>I love happy endings! Hugs to you yalemom!</p>
<p>But please update as to his return to school. Was he anxious about returning and leaving home again, or looking forward to going back to school? And you, do you feel better seeing him off this time? I hope all is well. Maybe this is just what you both needed.</p>
<p>As a student I don't see why you are so worried about him. The first couple of weeks in college I'm definitely planning to come back every other weekend, not because I'm worried about anyone or because I'm having a crisis, but because I would want to relax and take a break. Although everything new can be fun, it can also be tiring and stressful. I know that I'll miss my quiet and comfortable room more than a few times a month and I'm planning to take advantage of the fact that home isn't too far away.</p>
<p>The son who came home last weekend told his sister that she needed to take the trash out, because he was on "guest status".</p>
<p>I told him as long as he has a room, he is still "living here with an alternate address for part of the year". ;)</p>
<p>good try, liitlegreenson! LOL</p>
<p>Our daughter's college gives a vacation day in October and we have told her that if she feels she needs it we will fly her home for a long weekend. I think just knowing it's an option has helped her.</p>
<p>My D is wanting to come home this coming weekend. Partly to see us, partly to see her boyfriend, partly to see a school that she thinks she might want to transfer to. She's doing fine at school, has friends, likes her classes, etc., but doesn't like living in a city, and a dangerous one (with real issues about walking anywhere alone). I think it's okay for her to come, though some disagree with me. I wouldn't mind seeing her, especially since this transfer thing needs some face-to-face talking through. I also wouldn't mind her seeing her boyfriend and the school near to his, so she can get a sense of how things are between them, and what the school is really like. I want her to get as much a sense of that as possible as soon as possible, since she might try to transfer for spring term. </p>
<p>I wish it were as simple as her coming home from an hour away, or even two. I guess I should look at it this way: If it were an hour or two away I wouldn't have any problem at all with her coming home for the weekend, or going to see him. So why should I have a problem with it if it involves a flight? Ex and I would split the cost and the driving.</p>
<p>S is too far away to imagine a visit home other than for Thanksgiving. We have asked if he prefers us to come together for one visit, or if he would rather have H and I visit separately which would be 2 visits. </p>
<p>I sensed a bit of dissatisfaction/homesickness, etc. over the weekend, but I think it's because Week 1 was orientation & Week 2 was chaotic with Labor Day off and then trying to get classes scheduled, auditions, etc. This will be the real first week with a full class schedule and actual meetings of classes, so I'm sure it will be better.</p>
<p>I'm afraid S had an idyllic picture of how it would be to be at his dream school, so he was perhaps a bit more dismayed by things he didn't enjoy than he expected to be. But I don't really think he's homesick (except maybe for car and his own room and being able to eat/cook at any time of the day or night).</p>
<p>Orchestragirl sounded a little bit down when she called yesterday, but I didn't probe, although I did notice. I went out shopping right after our chat and came in a few hours later just as the phone was ringing; she was calling me back to apologize for being grumpy and tell me not to fret, it had just been gloomy and rainy for three days and she was feeling out of sorts. It was nice to have it validated (without me nagging) that SHE knew that I knew that something wasn't quite right. We BOTH brightened up after that second call!</p>
<p>Overall, things are going well for her; she likes her classes, likes having a single, has made some nice friends, found a great job. </p>
<p>But no doubt for all of our fledglings reality is really starting to sink in....</p>
<p>TangoSon has called twice since the long call with what I can only term as mom questions. And they have nothing to do with laundry! #1 call was "Mom, did we pack white out?" No. But we did pack a white marker for writing his name on dark items; told him to try that. #2 was a few minutes ago, "Mom, will you check my university e-mail to see if so and so responded?" Calling me was easier than returning to his room. </p>
<p>I feel needed again!</p>
<p>I can relate. We live in Florida and my daughter in at UVA. She is great during the day, but calls me in tears every night that she wants to come home for the weekend. She is scheduled to come home in 3 weeks for a family event, but wants to come home sooner. She has joined clubs and is making friends, but is so homesick. Any advice from parents who have gone through this?</p>